How Moms Lose Track of What They Want and How to Find It Again

My daughter turned two this month. I watched her eat her birthday cake with zero regard for the mess, completely absorbed in the moment, not thinking about what was next. Just entirely, joyfully present. And somewhere between the frosting and the candles, I thought about how we all used to know how to do that, and somewhere along the way, every quiet moment became a to-do list. This episode is one of the most personal things I've ever shared on the podcast. It's about a miracle pregnancy I didn't see coming, the season of life that shaped it, and the deeper question underneath all of it: when did we stop asking ourselves what we actually want? What You'll Learn ✅ Why the fourth trimester puts your wants in a drawer — and why so many of us forget to take them back out ✅ How borrowed wants from social media and comparison quietly replace our real ones ✅ Why adjusting your wants to fit your current season is strategy, not failure ✅ The I Want Practice: a simple quarterly exercise to reconnect with what's actually yours ✅ What watching a two-year-old can teach a high-achieving mom about permission Chapters00:00 Birthday Cake Presence00:43 Podcast Welcome Setup01:21 IVF Panic Turning Point03:23 Letting Go And New Life04:46 When Wants Change05:32 Motherhood Survival Mode07:27 Borrowed Wants Pressure09:12 Seasons And Realistic Goals11:19 Village Support Constraints13:08 Quarterly I Want Practice16:17 Toddlers Teach Desire18:44 Homework And Closing Send us Fan MailSupport the showNJ RESIDENTS, WORK WITH VANESSA Book a free 15-minute therapy consultation https://www.freetobemindful.com/contact LET’S STAY CONNECTED 🎧 Podcast: https://www.freetobemindful.com/podcast 🎁 Free Resource — 120 Coping Skills: https://www.freetobemindful.com/podcast-120copingskills 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/counselorvdejesus/ 💛 Private Coaching for the Mom CEO: https://www.amigamoms.com 🎤 Speaking & Workshops: https://www.freetobemindful.com/speaking 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/counselorvdejesus/DISCLAIMER:Free to Be Mindful Podcast episodes are for educational purposes only and should not be considered as or substituted for therapy or professional help from a licensed clinician.