How Money Can Do Good in Your Marriage with Matt Bell

Amos 3:3 asks, “Do two walk together, unless they have agreed to meet?” In context, the prophet is speaking of Israel’s relationship with God. But the principle also reminds us of something important for marriage: a husband and wife cannot walk together well unless they are headed in the same direction. That is especially true when it comes to money. For many couples, finances become a source of tension, secrecy, resentment, or fear. But God designed marriage for unity. And when handled with wisdom, humility, and shared purpose, money can become one of the tools God uses to strengthen a couple’s oneness rather than divide it. Matt Bell, Managing Editor at Sound Mind Investing and author of Starting Strong: Discovering the Good That Money Can Do in Your Marriage, joined the show today to remind us that couples can begin to see money differently when they stop thinking in terms of “yours” and “mine” and begin embracing a unified “ours.” Why Money Can Divide a Marriage Couples do not enter marriage as blank slates. Each person brings a financial story with them. That story may include how their parents handled money, whether money felt scarce or secure growing up, how debt was viewed, what saving meant, and whether spending brought joy, stress, or conflict. One spouse may naturally lean toward saving, while the other is more comfortable spending. One may want to stretch for a larger home, while the other prefers a more conservative approach. Those differences do not have to become destructive. But they do need to be acknowledged. Money disagreements are often not just about numbers. They are about fears, hopes, expectations, habits, and deeply formed assumptions. That is why patience and honest conversation are so important. Unity does not usually happen by accident. It grows through prayer, listening, humility, and a shared commitment to honor God together. Start With a Shared Vision Before couples make decisions about accounts, budgets, debt, or spending, they need to begin with a bigger question: What are we trying to do with what God has entrusted to us? Matt encourages couples to start by casting a shared vision rooted in their faith. That means praying together and committing their financial lives to the Lord. It means agreeing that everything ultimately belongs to God and that they are stewards—not owners—of what He has provided. That foundation matters because financial unity is not merely about efficiency. It is about discipleship. A couple’s financial decisions should reflect their shared desire to serve the Lord, follow His Word, care for one another, practice generosity, and walk together in faithfulness. When couples begin there, they are better prepared to work through practical questions because they have already agreed on the direction they want to go. Consider the Gift of Joint Accounts One practical question many couples face is whether to combine finances or keep accounts separate. While some accounts, such as IRAs, must remain individual, Matt strongly recommends joint checking and savings accounts wherever possible. Joint accounts can foster transparency, teamwork, and trust. They help prevent secrecy and reinforce the reality that husband and wife are approaching life together. Research from Indiana University found that couples who combined their finances experienced fewer financial fights and greater marital happiness. One surprising finding was that couples with combined finances were more likely to serve one another without expecting something in return. The researchers described this as a more “communal” relationship—one marked by responding to a spouse’s needs simply because there is a need. That picture fits beautifully with a biblical vision of marriage. Combining finances is not merely an administrative choice. For many couples, it can be a tangible step toward oneness. Of course, if one spouse is hesitant, the answer is not pressure or blame. The better path is prayerful conversation. Couples can return to Scripture, talk honestly about fears, and ask what practices would best cultivate unity, trust, and transparency in their marriage. Hold Regular Money Meetings Unity also requires communication. A shared vision is important, but couples need regular rhythms to live it out. Matt recommends that couples take the time necessary to create a cash flow plan that reflects their commitments and goals. At first, that may require several conversations. Once the plan is in place, couples can schedule a monthly meeting—perhaps 60 minutes at the end of each month—to review how things went and what needs to change. Over time, those meetings may become shorter. But the goal is not simply to look backward and see what happened. The goal is to manage money intentionally throughout the month. That means checking the plan before spending. Before heading to the grocery store or buying clothes, couples can look at the relevant category and let that information guide their decisions. This kind of ongoing communication helps prevent surprises and keeps both spouses engaged. A cash flow plan should not feel like a punishment. It is not mainly about restriction. It is about direction. It gives couples more knowledge, more intentionality, and more freedom to use money for what matters most. Let Generosity Reorient Your Hearts Generosity is one of the most powerful ways couples can move from self-focus to God-focus. Jesus said, “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:21). Giving is not just a financial act; it is a spiritual one. It trains our hearts to remember that God is our provider, that everything belongs to Him, and that money is a tool for loving Him and serving others. For married couples, generosity can become a shared joy. When a couple gives together, they are reminded that their financial life is not merely about paying bills, reducing debt, or reaching personal goals. It is about participating in the work God is doing in the world. That does not mean couples should give out of guilt or ignore real financial responsibilities. But it does mean generosity should have a meaningful place in the conversation. Even in seasons of debt repayment or financial pressure, couples can prayerfully ask, “Lord, how would You have us live open-handedly with what You’ve entrusted to us?” The goal is not to win an argument. The goal is to walk together. On Today’s Program, Rob Answers Listener Questions: How important is it to hold physical gold and silver for retirement? What percentage of a portfolio should be in precious metals, and is it better to invest in gold, silver, or both? My mom passed away, and my sister and I inherited her home, worth about $300,000 to $350,000. I’m currently living there, but I recently lost my job and likely wouldn’t qualify for a loan to buy out my sister’s share. I have unemployment income, a 401(k) I could roll into an IRA, and I plan to start Social Security early next year. Should I try to keep the house, or would it be wiser to sell it and downsize? Resources Mentioned: Faithful Steward: FaithFi’s Quarterly Magazine (Become a FaithFi Partner) Sound Mind Investing Starting Strong: Discovering the Good That Money Can Do in Your Marriage by Matt Bell Our Ultimate Treasure: A 21-Day Journey to Faithful Stewardship by Rob West Wisdom Over Wealth: 12 Lessons from Ecclesiastes on Money Look At The Sparrows: A 21-Day Devotional on Financial Fear and Anxiety Rich Toward God: A Study on the Parable of the Rich Fool Find a Certified Kingdom Advisor® (CKA) FaithFi App Remember, you can call in to ask your questions every weekday at (800) 525-7000. Faith & Finance is also available on Moody Radio Network and American Family Radio. You can also visit FaithFi.com to connect with our online community and partner with us as we help more people live as faithful stewards of God’s resources. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.