How NOT to Ask for What you Want episode artwork

EPISODE · Jul 29, 2026 · 13 MIN

How NOT to Ask for What you Want

from Ignite Your Confidence with Karen Laos · host Karen Laos

Many people don't miss out on opportunities because they aren't qualified, they miss them because they don't ask effectively. In this episode, you'll learn how to strengthen every request you make. In this episode you’ll get five tips: Be discerning, not pushy. Confidence isn't demanding or entitled. It's knowing when an ask is appropriate, respecting the other person's perspective, and being willing to hear either yes or no with grace. Discernment is what separates confidence from pressure. Don't bury the ask. Stop spending minutes explaining the backstory before you get to what you actually want. Lead with the request, then provide context if it's needed. Don't negotiate against yourself. State your request with confidence instead of discounting yourself before the other person has even responded. Don't confuse hints with requests. Hoping someone picks up on subtle cues isn't the same as asking. Be clear and specific about what you need. Don't let fear choose your words. Replace hesitant language like "I was wondering if maybe..." with clear, confident communication that reflects your value. The biggest opportunities often belong to the people who are willing to ask clearly, confidently, and respectfully. Your next "yes" may be waiting on your next ask.   Write a review If you enjoy this podcast, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. Your reviews help more people find the show and start communicating with greater confidence and ease. Some resources for you: Get 3 Strategies to Speak Up in Meetings here. Project more confidence and credibility with my free tips: 9 Words to Avoid & What to Say Instead: Words to Avoid | Karen Laos My book “Trust Your Own Voice”: https://karenlaos.com/book/ Connect with me: Website: https://www.karenlaos.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karenlaosofficial  Episodes also available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEwQoTGdJX5eME0ccBKiKng/videos About me: Many years ago I found myself tongue-tied in a boardroom, my colleagues and executives staring at me. My stomach in my throat, I was unable to get the words out (in spite of being in a senior leadership role).  Then, I heard my boss shut down the meeting. My heart sank. I was mortified. She pulled me aside and said, "You didn't trust your gut. You could've tabled the meeting like I did." Why didn’t that option occur to me in the moment? Why did I feel like I needed permission? That was the day I set out to change. I began a journey of personal growth to discover the root of the problem. Once I did, I wanted every woman to experience that same freedom. I’m now on a mission to silence self-doubt in 10 million women in 10 years by giving them simple strategies to speak up and ask for what they want in the boardroom and beyond, resulting in more clients, job promotions, and negotiation wins. Companies like NASA, Netflix, Google, and Sephora have been propelled toward more effective communication skills through my signature framework, The Confidence Cocktail™. This is your invitation to step into your most confident self so you can catapult your career! Karen Laos, Communication Expert and Confidence Cultivator, leverages 25 years in the boardroom and speaking on the world’s most coveted stages such as Google and NASA to transform missed opportunities into wins. She is fiercely committed to her mission of eradicating self-doubt in 10 million women by giving them practical strategies to ask for what they want in the boardroom and beyond. She guides corporations and individuals with her tested communication model to generate consistent results through her Powerful Presence Keynote: How to Be an Influential Communicator. Get my free tips: 9 Words to Avoid & What to Say Instead: Words to Avoid | Karen Laos Connect with me:Website: https://www.karenlaos.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karenlaosofficial Facebook: Ignite Your Confidence with Karen Laos: https://www.facebook.com/groups/karenlaosconsultingLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/karenlaos/Episodes also available on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEwQoTGdJX5eME0ccBKiKng/videosMy book “Trust Your Own Voice”: https://karenlaos.com/book/

Episode metadata supplied by the publisher feed · Published Jul 29, 2026

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This episode was published on July 29, 2026.

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