How to Ask Your Partner to Go to Couples Therapy

Couples wait an average of six years after problems start before ever getting help. If you’ve been sitting on the question, “Will you go to couples therapy with me?” you probably understand how that happens. You know something needs to shift, but you’re worried your partner will hear the request as, “Our relationship is failing,” or “You’re the problem.”Even if you never say those words, that energy can show up in your tone and body language. Research on conflict conversations has found that the first three minutes predict, with striking accuracy, how the whole conversation will go. So the words you choose, along with your tone and timing, can make the difference between an invitation your partner is open to and a conversation that turns defensive before it even starts.In this episode of The RISE to Intimacy Podcast, I give you the exact language to use when asking your partner to go to couples therapy. I explain how to use a podcast episode as a lower-pressure starting point, respond to the fear underneath their objections, and pause the conversation if it starts going sideways. I also share why asking your partner to try one session can feel much easier than asking them to commit to therapy without knowing what that commitment will look like.1:37 – Why the first three minutes of this conversation matter more than almost anything you say after2:45 – How to choose your approach based on the pattern in your relationship5:01 – How to broach the subject with your partner in a gentle, non-accusatory way6:49 – Why your partner might push back, and what to do if the conversation starts moving towards conflict8:32 – How to introduce couples therapy like an addition to the relationship instead of a verdict on it10:27 – Why your relationship isn’t doomed if your partner still says no11:34 – Bringing everything together so you can start applying it todayMentioned In How to Ask Your Partner to Go to Couples TherapySexless Relationships Get Worse the Longer You WaitResentment Is the Silent Killer of Sexual DesireHow to Stop the Pursue Withdraw Cycle Without BlameRISE to Intimacy Free 30-Minute ConsultLeave a rating and review