How to De-escalate an Angry Person in 90 seconds episode artwork

EPISODE · Aug 21, 2025 · 35 MIN

How to De-escalate an Angry Person in 90 seconds

from Be Unmessablewith: The Podcast hosted by Josselyne Herman-Saccio · host Josselyne Herman-Saccio

What if you could calm someone down in 90 seconds... even if they were screaming in your face?In this eye-opening episode of the Be Unmessablewith® the Podcast, I sit down with Doug Noll, a former trial lawyer who walked away from a 22-year legal career to become a peacemaker. Why? Because he realized that conflict isn’t solved in courtrooms. It’s resolved in conversations.Doug takes us behind the scenes of the moment he knew he had to change everything and how that journey led him to teaching a simple, science-backed method to de-escalate anyone, even a furious ex, a tantruming toddler, or a prison psychologist screaming obscenities.This isn’t about being calm on the surface while you're raging inside. This is about actually shifting the emotional state of another person and yourself using a method grounded in neuroscience and rooted in humanity.In This Episode, You’ll Learn:• The 3-step technique that can calm anyone in 90 seconds• What affect labeling is, and why it works even when nothing else does• Why saying “I understand” doesn’t de-escalate anyone, and what to say instead• The real reason emotional outbursts happen, and how to shift them into connection• How to stop reacting and start listening others into existence• The difference between Type 1 and Type 2 listening (and why it changes everything)One of My Favorite Moments: “The moment you stop reacting to someone’s emotional poop, and start compassionately naming it, you become unmessablewith.”If You’ve Got Someone in Your Life Who Pushes Every Button Doug’s method will change how you deal with conflict forever. This is the episode to share with your co-parent, your coworker, your teenager, your partner, anyone you’ve ever thought was “impossible.”Grab Doug’s free resources at DougNoll.com and learn the skill that could just create peace in your home, your work, and your world. https://dougnoll.co/unmessableDownload a free copy of my book PEACE PROMISES a 30-day program for a more peaceful life https://tremendous-builder-5717.kit.com/b75cf2cf64Find Doug At:LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/dougnoll/ Facebook        Facebook https://www.facebook.com/doug.noll.52/ Twitter https://www.facebook.com/DouglasNoll Twitter             Twitter  https://twitter.com/dougnoll Instagram       Intagram: https://www.instagram.com/douglasenoll/ DN YouTube  YouTube  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLMgSgzfVqHdriHEN3MiIKA Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtAHXdBT1Y0Pl7SGrM_HcFw EC Pinterest www.pinterest.com/b990204361f85f4a8ac1a25a9a0920Connect With JosselyneWebsite http://beunmessablewith.comhttps://www.instagram.com/beunmessablewith/

What if you could calm someone down in 90 seconds... even if they were screaming in your face?In this eye-opening episode of the Be Unmessablewith® the Podcast, I sit down with Doug Noll, a former trial lawyer who walked away from a 22-year legal career to become a peacemaker. Why? Because he realized that conflict isn’t solved in courtrooms. It’s resolved in conversations.Doug takes us behind the scenes of the moment he knew he had to change everything and how that journey led him to teaching a simple, science-backed method to de-escalate anyone, even a furious ex, a tantruming toddler, or a prison psychologist screaming obscenities.This isn’t about being calm on the surface while you're raging inside. This is about actually shifting the emotional state of another person and yourself using a method grounded in neuroscience and rooted in humanity.In This Episode, You’ll Learn:• The 3-step technique that can calm anyone in 90 seconds• What affect labeling is, and why it works even when nothing else does• Why saying “I understand” doesn’t de-escalate anyone, and what to say instead• The real reason emotional outbursts happen, and how to shift them into connection• How to stop reacting and start listening others into existence• The difference between Type 1 and Type 2 listening (and why it changes everything)One of My Favorite Moments: “The moment you stop reacting to someone’s emotional poop, and start compassionately naming it, you become unmessablewith.”If You’ve Got Someone in Your Life Who Pushes Every Button Doug’s method will change how you deal with conflict forever. This is the episode to share with your co-parent, your coworker, your teenager, your partner, anyone you’ve ever thought was “impossible.”Grab Doug’s free resources at DougNoll.com and learn the skill that could just create peace in your home, your work, and your world. https://dougnoll.co/unmessableDownload a free copy of my book PEACE PROMISES a 30-day program for a more peaceful life https://tremendous-builder-5717.kit.com/b75cf2cf64Find Doug At:LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/dougnoll/ Facebook        Facebook https://www.facebook.com/doug.noll.52/ Twitter https://www.facebook.com/DouglasNoll Twitter             Twitter  https://twitter.com/dougnoll Instagram       Intagram: https://www.instagram.com/douglasenoll/ DN YouTube  YouTube  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLMgSgzfVqHdriHEN3MiIKA Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtAHXdBT1Y0Pl7SGrM_HcFw EC Pinterest www.pinterest.com/b990204361f85f4a8ac1a25a9a0920Connect With JosselyneWebsite http://beunmessablewith.comhttps://www.instagram.com/beunmessablewith/

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How to De-escalate an Angry Person in 90 seconds

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This episode was published on August 21, 2025.

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What if you could calm someone down in 90 seconds... even if they were screaming in your face?In this eye-opening episode of the Be Unmessablewith® the Podcast, I sit down with Doug Noll, a former trial lawyer who walked away from a 22-year legal...

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