How to Escape the Clutches of Depression and Find Your Joy Again

Your tips are greatly appreciated! Upgrade at 30% offMy heart always goes out to anyone who is struggling through dark times. I know how it feels to descend so deep it’s as if there’s no point in trying. I wish I had the words to convey how to escape such a place. Perhaps I keep working on the map in preparation for the next time I fall into the trap.There have been multiple times that has happened to me. But though I've managed to get out I can’t preserve the memory. Maybe it’s because the destination at the end of the line is so terrifying. I block it out of fear that it might pull me back.It's of paramount importance that we have open discussions about mental health. When the topic arises, many people start to shuffle their feet and look away in embarrassment. I feel that reaction is derived from the same toxic masculinity that has such a detrimental effect on our times.We have to change our minds.We have to recognize that 100% of people can fall into the endless below. We're all vulnerable to this. Anyone who claims they haven't struggled with the thought of taking their own life isn't being truthful. No matter how quickly you dismiss it, the thought always lurks there as a deceitful possibility.Claiming it doesn't isn't honest or healthy. Perhaps if we had more honest conversations about depression and death, more people would find the strength to escape when they feel the pull of oblivion.The best I can say right now is to find something that brings you a sense of comfort and peace. Every second you can survive is precious. Even though it doesn't feel like you have any hope, the longer you can last, the more you improve your chances of restoring your sense of happiness.The enemy is hopelessness. You have to remind yourself to celebrate surviving for even one second longer.“I'd like to feel the warmth of the sun on my cheek.”“I'd like to touch grass.”“I'd like to see a sunrise.”Latch on to anything that might give you the strength to carry on, and while you focus on one thing to look forward to, try to come up with another.Give yourself time.In my last bout with depression, I remember the wisdom of the dog. He came and stood beside me with an awareness that seemed to defy the boundaries of space and time. He wouldn't leave me. He looked up at me with his big, soulful eyes, and insisted on remaining in contact. He was like a depression sink. I felt the pain leaking away.I remember being depressed when I was very young. I took comfort in nature. I'd walk down gravel roads and find stones which I'd hold up to ponder.They weren't even stones that could be called beautiful. I remember one that was yellowish and chalky. When I pressed it with my thumb, it was hard. It was real. Even something as small as that is enough to alight your curiosity with the world.A hard stone is something you can rely on. You can trust a stone to remain hard. That's something of a platform. You can take that tiny little stone you hold in your hand and climb upon it as you try to orient yourself in the void. Now you've got a point of reference at the bottom of your foot. You can stand upon it. You can look around. You can feel just a little bit more in control.Depression is like the spins brought on by excessive drinking.You want to press your hands against your head and close your eyes, but if you do that the spins only get worse.Instead, you have to force your eyes open and pick a point on the horizon and fixate on it until it stays put.That's your heading. You're like Odysseus returning home from a long journey fraught with dangers. It seems hopeless. You feel despair that you'll never get there. But you have to keep on.Even an inch.Even a millimeter.Everything can change so fast.Human beings struggle with this concept. Even now, after all these centuries of enduring misery, we still can't talk about it openly. We disguise our stories in the form of heroic journeys, but there is no journey more heroic than returning from the pits of Hell.Even if that journey takes place entirely in your living room. I know. I've spent days languishing on the couch, and emerged covered in sweat and exhausted.This mind we have is a powerful thing. Any powerful thing is dangerous if it begins to misbehave. Your hands might slip on a chainsaw as it bucks from encountering a knot. You might be cut to pieces.Remember that your mind is more powerful than a chainsaw. Your mind is a ravenous creature of teeth and claws larger than the Earth. You're falling towards it, but you can escape. Other women and men have escaped this and you can too. In fact, we all must escape it, it's completely normal.Once we recognize that and say it openly, we greatly empower everyone to survive. Those dangers are real. Those dangers are out there. We get no protection by denying them. We hand our children weapons by speaking truthfully.Just hold on. Hold on for one more second. Find the comfort in something as simple as the hardness of a stone and hold on. The stone will lift you back up to happiness.When you're down in the depths and it feels hopeless, just remember that every second is a victory. Just survive one second longer. I applaud you for surviving. Endure! If that advice seems ridiculous then laugh! You'll be laughing at death! I guarantee that will rouse your spirit.Life is an odyssey of laughing at death. Laugh at the monsters and the terrors you face along the way. Keep on even when all hope is lost. Take joy in the spray of the waves and the roiling of the sea. We're all adrift in the infinite void, but we are together.It's normal. You're not alone.All you have to do is endure and I promise that you'll see.You all make this newsletter happen! Thanks for your sponsorship! I have payment tiers starting at as little as twenty dollars a year.Upgrade at 30% offUpgrade at 40% offUpgrade at 50% offUpgrade at 60% offI'm so happy you're here, and I'm looking forward to sharing more thoughts with you tomorrow.My CoSchedule referral linkHere’s my referral link to my preferred headline analyzer tool. If you sign up through this, it’s another way to support this newsletter (thank you).I'd Rather Be Writing is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to I'd Rather Be Writing at walterrhein.substack.com/subscribe