How to Find Bookish Friends and Romance Community Outside Social Media

Making new friends as an adult is notoriously difficult, and when your primary hobby is reading high-heat romance novels, it can feel even harder to find your people. As an introvert who gets overstimulated quickly, the thought of trying to build a community through endless social media scrolling can feel exhausting. In this solo season premiere, I am breaking down easy, low-pressure ways to find bookish friends who match your energy and your favorite tropes (both virtually and in real life) without relying on algorithms. In this episode, we're discussing:Why traditional social media platforms can lead to doom scrolling rather than authentic connection, and how to pivot to dedicated spaces like Discord, Patreon, and Substack.How joining a structured buddy read helps you build deep, long-term friendships over shared chapter analysis rather than surface-level comments.Simple ways to navigate your local community, including the brilliance of Silent Book Clubs where you can read in parallel without the pressure of forced small talk.How to use indie bookstores, local author talks, library events, and even Little Free Libraries to signal your favorite tropes to nearby readers.A simple action step to reach out to one person this week and ask about their current read to break the ice.Don’t forget to follow over on Substack and join the paid community for fun perks.BOOKS/AUTHORS MENTIONED:Shelbey Monae on the Podcast (S3E6)Shelbey’s Discord CommunityShamoya’s Romance Reads (Substack)Weekend Reader (Substack)Running list of books mentioned (Doc)Support the showJoin the We Read Smut Lounge. Want early access to next week's episode, entry into our private Discord server, two monthly virtual silent book clubs, and a free monthly e-book? Head over to our Substack and join the paid community to access goodies and get early access to episodes. Connect with Alesia:StorygraphInstagramRunning list of books mentioned (Doc)This podcast was produced by Galati Media.Proud member of the Feminist Podcasters Collective.