How To Find Your Ultimate Life Purpose 🤲

Congratulations! By reading this article, you're taking the first step to embark on the transformative journey of a lifetime. This road is not for the faint-hearted. But if you’re sick to death of your mundane, stable, corporate 9-5, this is the easiest solution I can offer you. Ditch the bi-weekly injection of cash from your salary, the only thing that’s keeping you sane, and you’ll have a chance of discovering: Your ultimate life purpose! 🤲 Discovering your ultimate life purpose is the solution to every single one of your problems. Whether you’re recovering from the existential heartbreak of disappointing your parents or you didn’t get that promotion at work you really wanted, identifying the special reason why you were put on this earth is the answer to everything. It solves everything because it makes every aspect of your current personality, identity, and how you define yourself not matter at all anymore. Who you were before is completely irrelevant! It’s time to discover the new you. The better you. The true you. Did you get bullied in school? Did you get dumped by your partner, who you thought was the love of your life? Has your Saturn been returning for the last three years, but it’s never gotten back to you? Don't fret. We’re about to construct a whole new self on top of the less-than-perfect one you’ve currently got. Everything is going to become crystal clear. Of course, you're going to need all the spiritual (cough emotional cough) help you can get. But once you discover your ultimate life purpose, you will be bigger, better, richer, and more successful than you could ever have been! All you have to do is follow these simple, easy steps in this exact order and within this exact time frame. Pay close attention. You can’t miss this. So, what are you waiting for? * Read the philosophy of dead white men, or Rick Rubin 💀. Unfortunately, you’re all kinds of misled these days with modern “woke” culture. For the kind of spiritual work you want to do, modern thinkers just won’t cut it. You need to start picking up those old, complicated books that no one you know has read or will ever understand. And once you start quoting the heck out of them, your friends will think you’re incredible and perceptive. You’ll quickly realize how elevated you are intellectually compared to them. And the more philosophically superior you feel compared to other people, the closer you will be to breaking from the mold, denouncing capitalism, and discovering your ultimate life purpose. You’ll also distance yourself from everyone who has ever loved you in the process. But that’s beside the point. So, go ahead and read Plato’s Republic, Nietzsche’s books on nihilism, Hume’s essays on skepticism, and what Proust wrote about whatever. Make sure you’re reading texts that are so convoluted that you would have to replace almost every word in it to make it resonate with you at all. You'll try to do this by replacing every mention of "he" with "she." You'll try to replace every mention of "God" with "non-gendered, energetic forces of the universe." The more mental rewriting of a text you have to do, and the more confused you feel as you're reading it, the better. Especially if you’re a woman or a person of color, the more alienated you feel as you read these works, the more disillusioned you will be with historical dead white man philosophy. And that means you’ll be broken further open from the comforting stability of your normal life. Depression, jadedness, and nihilism will make sure that if you don’t feel like s**t already, you will now. And then, taking stock of all the ways that you've been slighted, aggressed, oppressed, or you've suffered in your life will suddenly feel overwhelming. And that's the kind of spiritual breakthrough that we're looking for! You need one more nail in the coffin of your old life for you to turn around and start seeking something bigger, grander, and more aligned with the energetic forces of the universe (of which there are many and which you are on the cusp of discovering). It's depressing to read about God, Jesus, and men only, and that’s what is so fantastic about it. In addition to Rick Rubin’s book, “The Creative Act: A Way of Being,” I recommend Ernest Holmes’ book, “Creative Ideas.” It’s over 100 years old at this point, which means it’s niche and will give you that intellectual superiority over your normal friends before you cut them off completely. But seriously, that Ernest Holmes book of prayer-poems actually has some good stuff in it. It’s about The Science Of Mind and strikes the perfect balance between historically outdated, God-fearing language and modern-day manifesting.Onwards! * Dive into your darkest trauma 🚷. You can start to discover your ultimate life purpose in the way that I just described, but igniting your spiritual awakening with some kind of terrible trauma definitely helps. Debilitating breakups, grief, a fucked-up marriage you couldn't get out of for 20 years, eating disorders, and mental illnesses are all just signals that everything in your life is crumbling. You’re about to rebuild it back with your ultimate purpose, the answers from the universe that your old self was way too boring and mainstream to be able to see. All the worst s**t that's ever happened to you will catalyze you to start seeking those really cool, really powerful spiritual medicines. Those will guide you to the light of knowing and discovering your ultimate life purpose. It’s way easier to get your Saturn back to you when everything in your life is complete chaos. Only when you’re completely debased and freaked out to your very core can you be open to bigger possibilities. So be sure to start unpacking the deepest, darkest stuff that has ever happened to you, and see how long you last in the corporate mainstream! 3. Wake your inner witch 🧙. It's time to start believing in a lot of stuff. Astrology, tarot cards, stars, shadow work, Reiki, acai, avocado toast, Birkenstocks, crystals, life coaches that charge $500 per hour, natural wines, and natural deodorants. You can start out small and work your way into it, like entering a scolding hot jacuzzi. Just keep dipping your toe in the water, and seven hours later, you’ll find yourself still completely submerged with your fingers as pruney as those Sun-Maid raisin boxes you hated eating in school. If you start to smell, it's only your body's natural odors. And that is a gift to the world. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Oh, and you’ve also got to start wearing cloaky-looking linens with feathered hats and crystal necklaces. Soon, you’ll have a whole troupe of hippie, witchy friends who are way more enlightened than your friends from college ever were. You have to dress like your cool friends, too, because each of them knows what their ultimate life purpose is, but you still don’t. So if you copy everything they say and do, you’ll get there soon, too, kid. Don’t you worry. Given the amount of mainstream, corporate, capitalist upbringing that you've had, you're going to need as many crystals, dreadlocks, and stick-and-poke tattoos as possible to save your soul. The more unrecognizable you look from your former self, the better. Compared to photos of yourself from even one or two years ago, today, you’re aiming to look completely unrecognizable. Obviously, you’re going to have to start composting, and you should have probably started being vegan yesterday. You should probably move to some kind of rural homestead because with so many microplastics polluting the world and giving cows cancer these days, you need to be able to control every single thing you put in your body. Only when you’re really and truly vibing with nature in this way will the forces of pacha mama bestow upon you the sole reason why you were put on this earth. Now, you’ve also got to spend lots of time in the sun and wear lots of clunky jewelry with blue stones that will turn your fingers green. While these faux metals are releasin… Get full access to Misseducated by Tash Doherty at misseducated.tashdoherty.com/subscribe