How to Get Someone Out of a Cult

I have been wondering for a while now why it is so impossible to get people out of a cult outside of just being there for them when they get out.So I decided to do some research on cult deprogramming and propaganda to see if there is a pattern here we can use to get people out of the MAGA cult.And I think I have some solutions.Millions of Americans are trapped inside a political cult right now. Their families know it. Their friends know it. Everyone around them can see it. But nobody knows what to do about it.Psychology actually does.Here are my five ways I think are the best way to get someone out of a cult.One. Kill the Signal.The cult can’t survive without constant propaganda.In 1961 psychiatrist Robert Lifton studied how authoritarian systems maintain control over their members. He identified eight criteria of thought reform. The most important one is controlling the information environment around the person. Control what media people watch, what they read, and who they hear and you control what they believe.Lifton called this milieu control.That is what Fox News and Newsmax do. They do not inform their audience. They insulate them. The cult member in your family is not choosing to believe insane things alone. They are being fed insane things twenty-four hours a day. You cannot reach someone while the signal is still running.Turn it off. Block their access to Faux, Newsmax, OAN, any internet access they have to far right propaganda. Block access to TikTok, Facebook, and Instagram. Use parental controls on their devices to block access to these apps and websites. Treat it exactly like you would treat screen time for a child because that is what this is. Block access to certain things and you will kill the propaganda being fed to these people every day.The sooner you disconnect them from the propaganda source the faster they will return to normal.Two. Ask. Do Not Accuse.Confrontation does not deprogram people. It radicalizes them further.In 1991 psychologists William Miller and Stephen Rollnick published a framework for reaching people who are resistant to change. They found that confrontation makes people defensive. It pushes them deeper into the belief. But when you ask questions instead of making accusations, people begin to evaluate their own position. You aren’t telling them they are wrong anymore. You’re letting them hear themselves say it out loud.Miller and Rollnick called this motivational interviewing.The moment you say “you are in a cult” the conversation is over. But the moment you start asking questions is the moment things will change. Ask “what do you think would happen if that turned out not to be true.” Once you plant questions spoken the right way it forces them to have to process the ideas as they speak them out loud. In a way you are forcing them to think about it as they verbalize the answers.This won’t work on everyone. But removing propaganda and asking questions will get you going down the right path.Three. The Identity Trap.If you force someone to admit their entire identity was a lie, they will choose the lie every single time.In 1957 psychologist Leon Festinger studied what happens when people are confronted with evidence that contradicts their deeply held beliefs. He found that instead of changing their minds, people double down. They reject the evidence. They attack the source. They rewrite the story so they were right all along. The pain of being wrong is worse than the cost of staying wrong.Festinger called this cognitive dissonance.Do not force a MAGA supporter to admit they were wrong about everything. That triggers identity collapse. Let them save face. Let them say they were misled. Let them say the party changed. Let them say Trump changed. It doesn’t matter what door they walk through. It matters that they walk through the door.We can talk about accountability later. Right now you just want them out of the cult and making rational decisions.Four. The Significance Quest.People don’t join cults because they are stupid. They join because the cult makes them feel like they matter.In 2014 psychologist Arie Kruglanski at the University of Maryland studied why people radicalize and join cults. He found that extremism fills a need for personal significance. People join radical movements because those movements give them purpose, status, and the feeling that they are part of something bigger than themselves.Kruglanski called this the significance quest.If you take away the movement and replace it with nothing, they will go right back. Give them a project. A purpose. A community. Something that makes them feel significant without the hatred. The cult gave them meaning. You need to replace that meaning with something that does not destroy them and hurt you.Get them involved in something local that they can become obsessed with. Even if that thing is just an AA meeting or a local club or hobby. Anything besides a radical far right movement. You’re going to need to care for a bit and treat these people like children to keep an eye on them for a while.In the end it’s worth it if you get them back and on the right track.Five. Break the Network.The cult is not just the belief. It’s a social network.In 1954 psychologist Gordon Allport at Harvard studied what happens when people are placed in sustained contact with people outside their group. He found that meaningful contact with people who do not share the same beliefs reduces prejudice, hostility, and ideological rigidity.Allport called this the contact hypothesis.If every person they talk to is still in the group, the group pulls them back in. They need new people. Not a support group. Not a recovery program. Just people who are not in the cult. A bowling league. A gym membership. A volunteer project. Anything that puts them in a room with people who do not talk about politics every second of the day.The hardest part of getting someone out of a cult is not the five steps. It is accepting that you cannot do it in one conversation. It is accepting that they will go back. They will watch one clip and slide. They will repeat something insane at dinner and you will want to scream.Do not scream.Ask a question. Leave the door open. And wait.Because the cult needs them to believe nobody on the outside cares.Prove the cult wrong.Get someone out of cult Questions:Grab The PDF of questions here Get someone out of cult Questions:Grab The PDF of questions here Grab The PDF of questions here Grab The PDF of questions here Grab The PDF of questions here SourcesLifton, R. J. (1961). Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism: A Study of “Brainwashing” in China. University of North Carolina Press.Miller, W. R. & Rollnick, S. (1991). Motivational Interviewing: Preparing People to Change Addictive Behavior. Guilford Press.Festinger, L. (1957). A Theory of Cognitive Dissonance. Stanford University Press.Kruglanski, A. W., Gelfand, M. J., Belanger, J. J., Sheveland, A., Hetiarachchi, M., & Gunaratna, R. (2014). The Psychology of Radicalization and Deradicalization: How Significance Quest Impacts Violent Extremism. Political Psychology, 35, 69-93.Allport, G. W. (1954). The Nature of Prejudice. Addison-Wesley. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lucasbean.substack.com/subscribe