How to Have Conversations That Actually Change Financial Behavior

In part two of this conversation with financial behavior coach DonJay Rice, Leo Sabo explores how church leaders, stewardship champions, and financial coaches can have conversations that actually lead to lasting change. DonJay introduces the Six Stages of Change, the Four F's (Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn), and the principles of Motivational Interviewing to help leaders better understand what is happening beneath the surface when people struggle with money. Rather than focusing on giving advice or fixing problems, this episode equips listeners to ask better questions, recognize emotional responses, and create safe environments where real transformation can take place. If you've ever wondered why some people seem ready to change but never follow through, this conversation offers practical insights that can improve every coaching, counseling, and discipleship conversation. Key Takeaways Lasting change begins with understanding people, not simply solving financial problems. Coaches and church leaders must learn to manage their own emotions before helping others navigate theirs. People move through six distinct stages of change, and each stage requires a different coaching approach. Pushing someone to change before they are ready can actually move them backward. Relapse is a normal part of growth and should be met with grace rather than judgment. Many coaching frustrations stem from misunderstanding where someone is in the change process. The "Fawn" response often causes people to agree to action steps they never intend to complete. Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn are common emotional responses that can surface during financial conversations. Emotional overwhelm is often mistaken for resistance or lack of commitment. Motivational Interviewing helps people discover their own reasons for change rather than being told what to do. Curiosity is one of the most powerful tools a coach can develop. Replacing "what" and "why" questions with phrases like "tell me about" or "help me understand" creates safer and more productive conversations. Trauma affects a significant percentage of people and should be considered in every coaching environment. Small environmental details—such as seating arrangements, room setup, and body language—can influence trust and openness. Better questions often lead to better outcomes than better advice. Resources DonJay’s Website (sign up for his newsletter) - Drumbeatofwealth.com Connect with DonJay - [email protected], Instagram, LinkedIn Learn about the Christian Stewardship Network - https://www.christianstewardshipnetwork.com/ Become a CSN member - https://membership.christianstewardshipnetwork.com/