How to Help Someone You Love Without Losing Yourself

Your partner cheated on you. But now he’s sorry and realizes that he’s got a lot of work to do – both on himself and the marriage. Which is great because that’s what you want too. But now, you’re being asked to be patient with him as he goes through his healing! What? That’s not fair! He’s the one who cheated! He hurt you and now you have to support him through his healing! As well as continue to manage your own healing and everything else that life requires. Because there are no easy answer and each relationship and situation is different, today’s show will walk you through a series of questions that you can ask yourself to determine whether or not it’s worth it to stay and to continue to invest in the relationship, including how much is enough to give, and how much is too much. Top Take-A-Ways: Why helping your partner heal without losing yourself is an art, not a science, that requires constant balancing. The importance of knowing where you stop and your partner begins so you can assess how you are feeling and know what this journey is costing you in terms of time, money, energy, and emotion. How the idea of codependency (while valid and important to stay aware of) can be overrated when dealing with trauma and healing. Hard Truth 1:Why playing the victim or the martyr (“I did all of this for him and look how badly he treated me!”) is an excuse for not growing up, making some hard choices, and doing our own work. Hard Truth 2: When you truly love another person, you want what’s best for them. Even if what’s best for them, is not what you want or what you thinkis best for them. Therefore, if you choose to help with healing, you must let go of your attachment to what you think that healing should look like. Lora Cheadle is an infidelity survivor who uses the concepts in burlesque to help women reclaim their identity and self-worth after betrayal so they can move forward with confidence, embrace their sexy, and create a life they love!   Download your Sparkle After Betrayal Recovery Guide at www.BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com and start reclaiming yourself and your life today!     Thank you to BetterHelp for sponsoring this podcast! Take charge of your mental health and get 10% off your first month of therapy at https://BetterHelp.com/FLAUNT    FLAUNT! is brought to you by Revel the new kind of social platform built exclusively for women over 40. Members make connections at virtual and in-real-life events, start conversations from super serious to silly, and learn from experts on topics from financial wellness for women, managing menopause, and dozens more. Explore our community of like minded, smart, fabulous, and fun women at hellorevel.com/flaunt.