How To Negotiate When Negotiating Makes You Nervous with Chris Voss & Moshe Cohen episode artwork

EPISODE · Feb 19, 2026 · 1H 8M

How To Negotiate When Negotiating Makes You Nervous with Chris Voss & Moshe Cohen

from The Anxious Achiever · host Morra Aarons-Mele

Negotiation isn’t just about boardrooms and big deals. It’s every time you ask for what you need that brings up fear, self-doubt, and a rush of emotion that can derail the whole conversation. In this episode, I talk with former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss and negotiation expert Moshe Cohen about why so many of us dread conflict, how curiosity can quiet anxiety, and how to use tactical empathy as a strategic tool. We also share the tools to slow down emotional hijack and manage rejection. Tune in to learn how to regulate your emotions and negotiate with clarity instead of fear. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with  customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off.  In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why negotiation is happening in almost every interaction. 04:45 What are the 3 types of handling conflict? 09:15 How curiosity shuts down fear in your brain. 12:15 Is asking questions in general a good technique in a negotiation? 16:30 What empathy really means in negotiation. 23:15 How bonding and trust influence negotiation outcomes. 26:15 Why you should talk less and listen more in negotiation. 32:00 How naming your emotions reduces their intensity. 38:00 How often does that anxiety show up during a negotiation exercise? 41:00 Tips to slow down time when you feel emotionally hijacked. 46:15 What is the listening triangle? 50:30 How much advice is too much in a negotiation? 57:00 How to build your rejection muscle. 01:00:00 The stories you tell yourself before and during a negotiation 01:02:00 How knowing your BATNA lowers the stakes and raises confidence. Resources + Links Get the Anxious Achiever Healthy High Achieving App - studio.com/morra Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Chris: on LinkedIn @christophervoss + Instagram @thefbinegotiator Follow Moshe: on LinkedIn @moshecohen

Negotiation isn’t just about boardrooms and big deals. It’s every time you ask for what you need that brings up fear, self-doubt, and a rush of emotion that can derail the whole conversation. In this episode, I talk with former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss and negotiation expert Moshe Cohen about why so many of us dread conflict, how curiosity can quiet anxiety, and how to use tactical empathy as a strategic tool. We also share the tools to slow down emotional hijack and manage rejection. Tune in to learn how to regulate your emotions and negotiate with clarity instead of fear. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with  customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off.  In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why negotiation is happening in almost every interaction. 04:45 What are the 3 types of handling conflict? 09:15 How curiosity shuts down fear in your brain. 12:15 Is asking questions in general a good technique in a negotiation? 16:30 What empathy really means in negotiation. 23:15 How bonding and trust influence negotiation outcomes. 26:15 Why you should talk less and listen more in negotiation. 32:00 How naming your emotions reduces their intensity. 38:00 How often does that anxiety show up during a negotiation exercise? 41:00 Tips to slow down time when you feel emotionally hijacked. 46:15 What is the listening triangle? 50:30 How much advice is too much in a negotiation? 57:00 How to build your rejection muscle. 01:00:00 The stories you tell yourself before and during a negotiation 01:02:00 How knowing your BATNA lowers the stakes and raises confidence. Resources + Links Get the Anxious Achiever Healthy High Achieving App - studio.com/morra Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Chris: on LinkedIn @christophervoss + Instagram @thefbinegotiator Follow Moshe: on LinkedIn @moshecohen

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How To Negotiate When Negotiating Makes You Nervous with Chris Voss & Moshe Cohen

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This episode was published on February 19, 2026.

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Negotiation isn’t just about boardrooms and big deals. It’s every time you ask for what you need that brings up fear, self-doubt, and a rush of emotion that can derail the whole conversation. In this episode, I talk with former FBI hostage...

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