How To Overcome Roommate Syndrome | Nate Bagley | #43

Do you ever feel like your partner is more like a roommate than a spouse? This isn’t uncommon for couples to experience, and is actually a feature of marriage than a bug. Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz talk with Nate Bagley about “Roommate Syndrome” and discuss how being in this rut can act as a catalyst for growing up our marriage. As something that everyone in a relationship encounters, this podcast is a must-listen-to resource to create a stronger marriage connection!Timestamps:0:00 – Introduction: Who is Nate Bagley?1:42 – Fear of a mediocre marriage3:59 – Interviewing the most successful and happy couples6:15 – What is “roommate syndrome”?10:20 – How to get the spark back in your marriage12:30 – How to get out of the roommate rut18:01 – Roommate syndrome is a feature, not a bug19:57 – Happiness is a byproduct of growth22:20 – The Eisenhower Matrix27:10 – What do we need to do to have a great marriage?30:10 – Maximize enjoyment for both people32:48 – Nate Bagley resources33:32 – Nate’s takeaway: you have more control over your marriage than you think35:33 – Liz’s takeaway: remember maximum joint enjoyment36:06 – Dave’s takeaway: the pillars of friendship – I like you, I know you, I trust youAbout Nate Bagley:Nate Bagley is a marriage researcher and educator whose mission is to rid the world of mediocre love. His passion is helping people DO the things that make their relationships extraordinary.In 2012, Nate did a cross-country road trip where he interviewed the country’s most madly-in-love couples, and renowned relationship experts to discover the secrets of truly epic, lasting love.Since then, he’s given a TEDx talk, and been published in Business Insider, Thrive Global, The Good Men Project, the Gottman Institute blog, and many other outlets. He always loves hearing from his readers and listeners, so please feel free to reach out to him at his website here.Insights:Nate: Happiness is a byproduct of growth and roommate syndrome is a byproduct, not a bug. Roommate syndrome gives you the opportunity to grow up.Dave: Foster the 3 pillars of friendship: I like you, I know you, I trust you.Liz: Remember to focus on maximum joint enjoyment.Invites:   -    If you feel like you and your partner have roommate syndrome, try doing something out of your comfort zone today (ask a personal question, address a topic that makes you anxious, etc.).   -   It’s the little things that get you out of roommate syndrome. Try making your partner a meal they wouldn’t expect (like breakfast or lunch), or sending them a sweet text while they’re away (even if not for very long).   -    Try to make your marriage enjoyable for everyone. Is there something you grew up doing that your partner doesn’t particularly enjoy? Talk about it with them. What could you do to make things more enjoyable for them?Nate Bagley Links:   -    https://growthmarriage.com/   -    https://www.epicmarriageclub.com/awr/ Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:Strongermarriage.orgpodcast.strongermarriage.orgFacebook: StrongerMarriage.orgInstagram: @strongermarriagelifeTikTok: @strongermarriagelifeDr. Dave Schramm:Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book StoreWritten by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduceThe opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org  Podcast.stongermarriage.orgYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLifeTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelifeInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.comhttp://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/