EPISODE · Jul 27, 2026 · 24 MIN
How to Stay Confident and Composed at Tryouts
from Car Ride Conversations For Sports Families
Tryout Confidence: Show (Don’t Prove) Yourself + Reset Fast After Mistakes Valerie Alston discusses how athletes and parents can approach upcoming school sport tryouts with a healthier mindset by shifting from “I have to prove myself” to “I get to show myself.” Drawing on conversations with coaches at the North Carolina Coaches Association, she emphasizes focusing on controllables—effort, coachability, communication, body language, hustle, decision-making, and how athletes respond to mistakes—rather than outcomes like roster spots or other players’ talent. She explains that coaches build teams and value character and dependability, offers strategies to reset after errors (breathe, use a cue, refocus), and warns against unhealthy comparison. She recommends defining success with three process goals and using a before/during/after mental plan, plus guidance for parents to reduce pressure and ask curiosity-based questions.00:00 Tryout Confidence Reset00:59 Why Tryouts Feel Heavy02:44 Show Yourself Not Prove04:32 What Coaches Really Pick06:52 Control Your Evidence08:12 Reset After Mistakes10:29 Comparison Without Spiral14:02 Define Success Process Goals15:48 Three Part Mental Plan19:01 Parent Pressure Off20:29 Car Ride Questions23:03 Wrap Up Next Steps Discussion questions: What part of tryouts usually creates the most pressure for you, and what thoughts tend to show up?What are three things you can control that would help coaches see the best version of you?What will your reset look or sound like after a mistake?How will you define a successful tryout even before you know the final decision?Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletterFor more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychologyIf you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for ParentsHave an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: [email protected] Me on:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoachingInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoachingYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V
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How to Stay Confident and Composed at Tryouts
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