How to Stay Married to Someone Who Is Difficult

Some marriages have more than friction. In this episode, discover what it looks like to keep loving a difficult person, what 1 Corinthians 13 says about love as a practice, and where the resource comes from when yours is gone.A woman who asked to remain anonymous wrote her story for FamilyLife after 47 years of marriage. She had married at 18 to a man who was chronically negative, self-centered, and rarely had a kind word for her or their children. When he lost his job he sat and played solitaire for a year and a half. One stretch she fed their family of 5 on $20 for 2 weeks. She bought him books and got him to marriage conferences. She studied Scripture on how to be a better wife.None of it changed him.This episode is for the person in that kind of marriage. The one where the friction never lifts. The one where you've done your part and the other person hasn't moved. You're not describing a difficult season. You're describing a difficult person, and you've made a covenant with them.Over the years I've sat across from many couples in marriages that ground them down. Some found their way through. Others chose divorce rather than face the underlying issues and do the personal work those issues required. I understand why. But I've watched enough of those endings to know that leaving rarely resolved what they thought it would.First Corinthians 13 is a passage most people hear at weddings. It lands differently in year 20. Paul describes love as patient, kind, not irritable, keeping no record of wrong. He's describing a practice, not a feeling. Patient is something you choose to be. Keeping no record of wrong is a discipline you have to return to over and over because the record writes itself. None of these are things that happen to you. They're things you do, sometimes with very little coming back the other way.The woman in this story eventually ran out of her own strength. She stopped trying to change her husband and gave him to God instead. What came in to fill that space was a love she said she couldn't have produced on her own. She stayed 47 years. As his health declined she became his caregiver. Her children told her later they hadn't felt abused, just ignored, and they thanked her for keeping her covenant.She said God had become her companion in all the places her husband had left empty.Through her story and 1 Corinthians 13, this episode makes the case that staying in a grinding marriage on your own reserves is a setup for collapse. The resource that makes it possible is one you have to ask for specifically, in the specific places where you've run out.BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU'LL DISCOVER:Why 1 Corinthians 13 reads differently in a difficult marriage than it does at a wedding, and what Paul is describing when he calls love a practiceWhat happens when you stop trying to change your spouse and give them to God instead, and why that distinction mattersOne concrete prayer and one concrete action you can take this week in the specific place where you've been running on emptyHer husband never changed. But she found God filling what she couldn't fill herself. That's available to you too, in the exact places where you've run out.Share This Episode:https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/240Need Prayer? Leave me a voicemail:https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/voicemailWant to keep these devotions coming? Please consider supporting this podcast.https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/support/Rate and Reviewhttps://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/reviews/new/Connect with BartFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/dailydevotionsforbusylivesWebsite: https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.comFeeling spiritually drained? Start here. Download your free copy of my eBook Making Time for Jesus here.Mentioned in this episode:Join Our Private Facebook CommunityIf you're looking for a place to connect with other Daily Devotions listeners and pray for each other, I'd love for you to join our private Facebook community group. Come find us at https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/group