How To Stop Avoiding Your Own Desires & Figure Out What You Really Want episode artwork

EPISODE · Jul 28, 2025 · 19 MIN

How To Stop Avoiding Your Own Desires & Figure Out What You Really Want

from Pleasure Uprising: Desire, Attachment, and the Sex You Actually Want · host Laura Jurgens, Ph.D.

Are you secretly scared of your own desires? I see this all the time in my practice – we avoid knowing what we truly want because we're terrified of disappointment. But here's the thing: your desires are there whether you acknowledge them or not, and avoiding them is just quitting in advance (there's no benefit). In this episode, I'm walking you through a powerful exercise that will help you uncover what you actually want (not what you think you should want). We're going to dig past those surface-level desires – like wanting the perfect body or your partner to initiate sex more – and get to the real stuff underneath.I'll share how my own perfectionist fantasies were actually masking deeper desires for self-acceptance, and how recognizing this changed everything. You'll learn to distinguish between desires you can control versus ones that depend on other people, and why that matters so much.This isn't about repressing your wants – it's about getting smart about them. I'm giving you the exact questions to ask yourself that will help you figure out which desires are worth pursuing and which ones are just symptoms of other issues.Grab a pen and paper – we're doing this work together.Get my free guide: Get Out of Your Head: A Starter Guide to Releasing the Pressure, Shame, and "Shoulds" Around Intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com/guideMore links: Substack at https://laurajurgens.substack.com/Pleasure Path Diagnostic here: https://laurajurgens.com/diagnostic/About me, testimonials, blog, bookings: https://laurajurgens.com/Wheel of Erotic emotions, go to: https://laurajurgens.com/wheelCopyright notice: All content in this podcast is copyrighted and copying, scraping, data mining, or using the content to train AI is prohibited. 

Episode metadata supplied by the publisher feed · Published Jul 28, 2025

Are you secretly scared of your own desires? I see this all the time in my practice – we avoid knowing what we truly want because we're terrified of disappointment. But here's the thing: your desires are there whether you acknowledge them or not, and avoiding them is just quitting in advance (there's no benefit). In this episode, I'm walking you through a powerful exercise that will help you uncover what you actually want (not what you think you should want). We're going to dig past tho...

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How To Stop Avoiding Your Own Desires & Figure Out What You Really Want

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This episode is 19 minutes long.

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This episode was published on July 28, 2025.

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Are you secretly scared of your own desires? I see this all the time in my practice – we avoid knowing what we truly want because we're terrified of disappointment. But here's the thing: your desires are there whether you acknowledge them or not,...

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