How to Stop "Helping" Your Loved One Get Sober & Start Helping Yourself

When I was married to an alcoholic and substance abuser, I stopped taking care of myself and became consumed with taking care of him. Slowly, the things that I enjoyed doing the most took a back seat. My day job became a real distraction to my other job of trying to keep him sober. I was so uncomfortable living with addiction that I found comfort in food. Candy bars, brownies, pasta - they all gave temporary feelings of happiness (that were followed by feelings of shame). And my kids... my poor kids. They really only got half my attention because in the back of my mind I was always worried their dad was never going to become the man I knew they deserved. And then the day came when I realized I needed to leave my marriage. Living like this was no longer possible. I was convinced that I had to take my three young kids and go. I talk a lot more about this moment in the programs that we offer. If you love him and don't want to leave, or if you're thinking you're not sure how much more of this you can take… I have good news. You don't need to make up our mind to leave or stay right now. What you need to do is start taking care of yourself again (or for some of you, for the first time). You need to get up in the morning and do a good job of making an effort to look your best (because chances are, then you'll feel your best). Take a warm shower with great smelling soap, wear your nice clothes, put on some moisturizer. Make some time to go for a walk every day. Even if it's just around the block. Start putting food in your body that will help it thrive and feel good. Do you enjoy painting, gardening, coffee with friends? Do more of that. Get out of the house and have some fun. Ride a roller coaster, take a class, go to the movies or the library. A year before the moment I decided to leave, I started taking care of myself again. I enrolled in a local pottery class. I loved pottery in high school, so every week I would drive into town and have an hour to enjoy making art. As soon as I walked out of the door to my home, I closed the door to dysfunction. I was making a healthier choice. It's okay for you to take time every day for yourself. You're not going to get permission from the people around you. Give yourself permission and make it happen. You can do it. I know you can. Joining one of our programs is giving yourself permission to create a better future for you and the ones you love. Click here to learn about our three life-changing programs. They are online and confidential.