How to Talk to Anyone! The FBI trick that makes anyone trust you in under a minute ft. Chris Voss

In this fascinating episode of Something Bigger With Rodrigo Canelas, we sit down with Chris Voss; former FBI lead international hostage negotiator, bestselling author of Never Split the Difference, and founder of the Black Swan Group. What unfolds is a masterclass in the invisible skill that shapes every human interaction you'll ever have and why most people have no idea they're getting it wrong.Here's what nobody tells you about negotiation: it has almost nothing to do with being clever, aggressive, or persuasive. Chris Voss spent decades talking people out of hostage situations, international kidnappings, and terrorist sieges over 150 cases and the single most important thing he discovered wasn't a tactic. It was that every human being on earth, regardless of culture, religion, or background, makes decisions based on the same wiring. Autonomy. Identity. And above all, loss. The fear of what you might lose drives more decisions than the promise of what you might gain. The casinos of Las Vegas are built on a 51% win rate. Voss believes you can trust people 70% of the time. But because loss hits 13 times harder emotionally than it actually occurs, most of us negotiate against ourselves before we ever reach the table.The conversation goes far beyond boardrooms and hostage barricades. Voss demonstrates live, in real time, how tone of voice alone triggers neurochemical responses in the brain, how a two-word observation like "you seem centered" can open someone up more than any question ever could, and why the phrase "I know how you feel" is one of the fastest ways to shut a conversation down. He walks through a three-step grocery store exercise that teaches empathy in under five minutes, reveals why asking "what do you love about what you do" unlocks more than any elevator pitch ever will, and explains the counterintuitive power of calling out negatives before the other person does a technique he calls inoculation. He shares the painful lessons from the Burnham case in the Philippines, where assumptions about cooperation led to tragedy, and why the greatest threat in any negotiation isn't the person across the table it's the team behind them that you can't see.This conversation isn't just about hostage negotiation or closing deals. It's about the invisible dynamics running underneath every relationship you have with your partner, your children, your colleagues, your own ambition. Voss delivers one line that reframes everything: "Intention and impact are two different things." You can mean well and still steal someone's story. You can be exhausted and undo a day's worth of empathy in one sentence. The skill isn't knowing this. The skill is practicing it when you're tired, frustrated, and running on empty.The next time someone asks you how you're doing, pay attention to what you actually say and what you're really asking for.Time Stamps:(1:22) – Why Chris Voss Chose the FBI Over a Normal Career(5:09) – How a Knee Injury Led to His True Calling(9:22) – Why 20 Minutes Was the Maximum for Any Call(13:32) – 150+ Cases: What's Underneath Every Negotiation(14:23) – Autonomy, Identity, and Loss (15:38) – Why People Fear Losing Their Job More (19:25) – How Tone of Voice Triggers Neurochemical Responses in the Brain(21:36) – The Burnham Case: When Cooperation Falls Apart(27:27) – The Agreement Graveyard and Why Signed Deals Die(28:23) – "What Happens If You Do Nothing?"(38:58) – "Seems Like You Got a Place You Want to Start"(40:21) – The Grocery Store Exercise That Teaches Empathy in 5 Minutes(44:31) – "What Do You Love About What You Do?" — The Magic Wand Phrase(49:13) – The #1 Mistake: Stealing Someone's Story Without Knowing It(56:26) – You Can Trust Blindly 70% of the Time(1:00:28) – How to Start Practicing Empathy Today(1:04:40) – Why Your Brain Is 75% Negative (And How to Use That)(1:11:40) – The Hardest Part: Using Empathy When You're Exhausted