How Trauma Makes You Say Yes When You Mean No episode artwork

EPISODE · Apr 3, 2026 · 45 MIN

How Trauma Makes You Say Yes When You Mean No

from Sex With Emily · host Dr. Emily Morse

Most women can name every product in their skincare routine but can't tell you the last time they actually paid attention to their vulva. Not because you don't care — because nobody ever taught you to. And that silence is costing women their pleasure, their comfort, and sometimes their health. In this episode, I sit down with OB-GYN and women's sexual health expert Dr. Sherry Ross — author of the V-ology book series and someone I consider one of the most important voices in women's intimate health — for the most practical, shame-free conversation about vulva and vaginal health I've ever had on this show. In this episode, you'll learn: • Why your vulva needs the same care and attention as your face — and what most of us are getting completely wrong about cleaning, moisturizing, and maintaining vaginal health at every age • The truth about painful sex, perimenopause, and recurring infections — what's actually causing them, why doctors keep dismissing the symptoms, and the solutions most women have never been told about • Whether every woman can learn to squirt, what your labia is supposed to look like, and why the clitoris — the road to success — might be the most important thing you're not paying enough attention to More Dr. Emily:  • Shop With Emily! Explore Emily’s favorite toys, pleasure accessories, bedroom essentials, and more — designed to support your pleasure and confidence. Free shipping on orders $99+ (some exclusions apply).5 • Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Go to sexwithemily.com/coaching to apply!  • Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. • The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure • Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website • Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube • Let’s text: Sign up here • Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular. Chapters: 0:00 - Intro 1:51 - Caller #1 (Jamie, 44): Partner Chatting with Sex Workers Online — Is It Cheating? 9:46 - Dr. Emily's Takeaway: Masturbation in Relationships & Staying Curious 10:30 - Caller #2 (Damian, 28): His Wife Is Grossed Out by Touching Herself 16:09 - Caller #3 (Lacy, 25): Love Bombed on a First Date, Then Blocked 23:55 - Caller #4 (Rachel, 25): Getting Back Into Sex After a Long Break 32:23 - Caller #5 (Karina): Dating After Trauma & Learning to Say No 41:00 - Dr. Emily's Final Word: Your No Can Be a Not Yet Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most women can name every product in their skincare routine but can't tell you the last time they actually paid attention to their vulva. Not because you don't care — because nobody ever taught you to. And that silence is costing women their pleasure, their comfort, and sometimes their health. In this episode, I sit down with OB-GYN and women's sexual health expert Dr. Sherry Ross — author of the V-ology book series and someone I consider one of the most important voices in women's intimate health — for the most practical, shame-free conversation about vulva and vaginal health I've ever had on this show. In this episode, you'll learn: • Why your vulva needs the same care and attention as your face — and what most of us are getting completely wrong about cleaning, moisturizing, and maintaining vaginal health at every age • The truth about painful sex, perimenopause, and recurring infections — what's actually causing them, why doctors keep dismissing the symptoms, and the solutions most women have never been told about • Whether every woman can learn to squirt, what your labia is supposed to look like, and why the clitoris — the road to success — might be the most important thing you're not paying enough attention to More Dr. Emily:  • Shop With Emily! Explore Emily’s favorite toys, pleasure accessories, bedroom essentials, and more — designed to support your pleasure and confidence. Free shipping on orders $99+ (some exclusions apply).5 • Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Go to sexwithemily.com/coaching to apply!  • Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. • The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure • Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website • Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube • Let’s text: Sign up here • Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular. Chapters: 0:00 - Intro 1:51 - Caller #1 (Jamie, 44): Partner Chatting with Sex Workers Online — Is It Cheating? 9:46 - Dr. Emily's Takeaway: Masturbation in Relationships & Staying Curious 10:30 - Caller #2 (Damian, 28): His Wife Is Grossed Out by Touching Herself 16:09 - Caller #3 (Lacy, 25): Love Bombed on a First Date, Then Blocked 23:55 - Caller #4 (Rachel, 25): Getting Back Into Sex After a Long Break 32:23 - Caller #5 (Karina): Dating After Trauma & Learning to Say No 41:00 - Dr. Emily's Final Word: Your No Can Be a Not Yet Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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How Trauma Makes You Say Yes When You Mean No

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This episode is 45 minutes long.

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This episode was published on April 3, 2026.

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Most women can name every product in their skincare routine but can't tell you the last time they actually paid attention to their vulva. Not because you don't care — because nobody ever taught you to. And that silence is costing women their...

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