EPISODE · Jun 5, 2026 · 13 MIN
How We Lost Ourselves
from You Need a Coach B*tch · host Chris Hale
In this episode we are diving deeper into people-pleasing. We talk about why people-pleasing isn’t a personality trait you’re stuck with, but a survival mechanism a nervous system can learn in childhood. If it felt safer to be agreeable, accommodating, and low maintenance, that pattern makes sense. And for queer folks, the wound can run even deeper when your most basic desire to love who you love was treated as wrong. That’s where the “yes” you didn’t mean, the opinion you swallowed, and the life you drifted into can start.We share the ways it shows up day to day: editing yourself before speaking, struggling to ask for help, managing other people’s emotions, and honestly not knowing what you want because you always defer. We also get practical with tools as a way to retrain the belief that discomfort equals danger. If you’re ready to take up a little more space, start here.If this hits home, subscribe, share the episode with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more recovering people-pleasers can find us. Where to find me: Connect with me on Instagram Check out my website Sign up for a free consult
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In this episode we are diving deeper into people-pleasing. We talk about why people-pleasing isn’t a personality trait you’re stuck with, but a survival mechanism a nervous system can learn in childhood. If it felt safer to be agreeable, accommodating, and low maintenance, that pattern makes sense. And for queer folks, the wound can run even deeper when your most basic desire to love who you love was treated as wrong. That’s where the “yes” you didn’t mean, the opinion you swallowed, and the ...
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How We Lost Ourselves
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