How Weaponized Incompetence Can Ruin Your Relationship with Laura Danger

Today’s video contains a guest appearance from Laura Danger, both an educator as well as an advocate for domestic equity. In today’s video, Dr. Kate Balestrieri and Laura Danger explore relationship inequity, emotional and domestic labor, and how mismatched definitions of “trying” create friction, resentment, and loss of desire. They cover various themes surrounding relationships such as:  how to distinguish capacity vs willingness,  how defensiveness and punishment can function to silence needs, and how mental health can affect contribution while still requiring collaborative problem-solving and support.  They collaborate on what it means to have a partner that weaponizes incompetence and how unresolved could corrupt the foundation of relationships. 00:49 Podcast Return and New Book 01:36 Meet Laura Danger 02:39 Why Equity Becomes Conflict 04:59 Listener Question Bare Minimum Partner 05:58 Good Faith Effort vs Incompetence 08:22 Cant vs Wont and Defensiveness 12:42 Mental Health and Capacity in Couples 16:53 Boundaries and Resentment Spiral 21:53 The NAG Paradox Explained 22:25 Honey Do Trap 23:21 Power Imbalance Loop 24:53 New Parent Resentment 27:42 Repair With Check Ins 29:17 Fair Play Framework 30:35 Regulating Conflict Cycles 35:27 Anger As Information 42:54 Somatic Anger Cues 44:37 Closing And Resources About Laura Danger: Laura Danger, is an educator, author, facilitator, and advocate for domestic equity and equal distribution of the mental load. She is a prominent voice, who popularized topics regarding care culture and fostering equitable dynamics within a relationship. Instagram & TikTok: @thatdarnchat Website: www.lauradanger.com Book: No More Mediocre https://www.amazon.com/dp/0593474783/?bestFormat=true&k=no%20more%20mediocre&ref_=nb_sb_ss_w_scx-ent-bk-ww_k0_1_16_de&crid=35U7ZEMYGXUV9&sprefix=no%20more%20mediocre Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices