How you lose power thru blame

Today is my 100th podcast and I can say that I’m really proud of myself for never missing a week – for showing up as promised  and delivering a message that I talk about which is in order to build trust in yourself you have to do what you say you will do most of the time – the old 80/20 rule comes to mind. The human condition means we will never be perfect but walking the talk is a big deal. Anyway onto today's chat. I'm going to talk about blame and how I think we lose power when we blame other people, the government, the Prime Minister, the president, the economy and anything or everything that we can pick on to explain the things in our life that have gone wrong or mistakes we have made.Fundamentally, when we blame,we are basically saying that we are not responsible for what is happening when in fact if we calmly dissect what is happening, we will realise the part we played intentionally or inadvertently which becomes a valuable learning opportunity. Whilst it is not always true that we are totally responsible for what has happened when we blame we are giving the responsibility away for fixing it to someone or something else. We may not have the power to change something but we sure as hell have the power to decide how we will react to it and what we will do about it. Blame takes away energy and fuels apathy.If you care about someone yet blame them for a mistake it in no way helps them and only negative emotions will flow from blame such as guilt, resentment, anger, frustration, or in some circumstances lead to an unnecessary breakdown of a relationship. In another situation, you may say that not only do you blame someone else but you are extremely angry or even hate someone for putting you in a bad position. However, It is unlikely this person is going to turn around and say “I'm really sorry! I did this and you are right to blame me and I'm going to make it right. This is a fantasy. When you focus so heavily on blaming someone so much energy is invested unnecessarily in trying to make you feel better because you are not responsible when it does nothing to help you get out of whatever negative situation you find yourself. There is no point in wallowing in shit saying I can't believe this person put me here and it is their fault that I’m in the shit! I think giving up the power to change things is folly and surrendering to blame. Ultimately blame is a waste of energy. I genuinely believe that some people are more obsessed with surrounding themselves with others taking great pleasure from all agreeing as to who’s at fault rather than focusing on who or what can help them move forward and change things.Whatever the position you're in you are going to have to help yourself to move forward. Whenever we point the finger of blame is also where the power lies. When you blame the world in whatever form you must remember that there are billions of people living in this world and people in a similar situation who are choosing not to blame the world and are seeing things from a different perspective, seeing opportunity where you see fault.It is hard to think of a situation where blame is helpful. Mostly it is finding a way to let ourselves off the hook, but in letting ourselves off the hook we're giving away the power to do something about it. As always thanks for listening and if you enjoy and have gotten a few nuggets from my first 100 episodes please share with others and help inspire me to my next 100. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices