How Your Inner Dialogue Shapes Anxiety: Stop Saying “Try,” “Should,” and “But”

In this episode, Dr. Tam and Dr. Cruz Martinez go deeper on how inner dialogue can fuel anxiety and fear or, with intentional language, build confidence and resilience. Dr. Cruz shares his own vet school experience of spiraling thoughts and explains how repeated self-talk becomes beliefs, identity, and behavior. Using examples from parenting and everyday commitments, he highlights three energy-depleting words—“try,” “should,” and “but”—and explains how they can create ambiguity, guilt, and mental confusion. He offers alternatives such as clear commitments, “do my best,” “want,” “yet,” “will,” and replacing “but” with “and” to create forward momentum. They emphasize that change requires consistent practice, self-awareness, and patience while retraining long-standing mental patterns.