Howl the Owl

Hello and welcome to the Gifted Life podcast where we have conversations about organ, tissue and idol nation. You can always find us at thegiftedlife.org where your house is where you steal. Joey Boudreau. Sarah Blakemore coming up in the program today.

How the Owl. Educating children about donation. And relaxation techniques for children. All that and more coming up right here.

The Gifted Life. Let's get started. Here on the Gifted Life podcast we are so excited to visit with Brenda Cortez. How are you?

I'm good. How are you? How do people know you or do they think that you're How the Owl? Do they call you How?

Like what's going on Brenda? I think Holly Paul. She's an author and a living kidney donor and she's doing all these great things to spread awareness about kindness and organ donation. And I'm going to take you back a couple of years but the Gifted Life executive producer, Kirsten Hines and I were at Transplant Games.

And so you were there and we went on a mission like we've got to find How the Owl, right? And then we get to this table and it's just friendly smiling. I just want to help and it was you, Brenda. It was amazing.

Oh, thank you. I'm so glad that you found me. I know. So Howtheowl.com if you guys want to follow along but I think we want to know about how this all got started.

So you're a living kidney donor. So Joe, Sarah, we were talking about this. Like how did that happen? What were your thoughts?

Well, it's already been a while. So it's been 14 years since I donated and it all came about at my children's school and I was just chatting with another mom and asking her to help with an event and then just came up that she was going to be starting dialysis and needed a kidney transplant. And I was a little bit aware of organ donation, you know, have that designated on my driver's license but never really thought about living donation. I didn't know if I knew that it was a thing.

I offered to get tested when she said she needed an old blood type. So that's me. And then I told people that I was right at that moment when I offered. I literally just felt that I would be a match for her.

I didn't find that out for like two or three months later. But I just knew in my heart that I was part of my purpose mission in life was to do that. That was pretty cool. Yeah.

So of course, I've got a heart of my license. It's kind of required to work here but even before I worked here, I did. But my thoughts were that okay, when I pass away, I want to give as much life and sight and healing to as many people as I could. I never thought about, as you said, that when you're still living, you're the donor.

Right. I want to know how. So did you know someone that was a living donor that donated maybe part of their liver or kidney? Or was this just you kind of going out on a whim and completely altruistically doing this for your friend?

I don't know of anybody. No, so just completely mean going out there and just wanting to. Ultimately, what I felt at that moment too was that, wow, you know, this mom, her kids are the same age as my kids. Like, I would hope that somebody would, you know, stop up for me if I needed that.

So I literally just wanted to do for somebody else what I hope someone would do for me. Are you still in contact with the mother who's life? You say? Just through Facebook.

You can contact too much. You have to look at the first year if we weren't at the same school anymore. And so no, I really didn't see her know what was going on with her. And I had been wondering and wondering and then I finally thought her and I think that was at the nine year mark.

And I felt like really emotional. Right. Like, you know, I'm finally get to know like she's doing okay. She said that the kidney was acting more like it was a two year old kidney.

She had had it two of birth as nine. So that was good to hear. And I'm not right. We're on Facebook.

So I get to see that. Yeah. So, um, do you want to okay? So that's great.

Yeah. So you gave her the gift of life, the gift of normalcy and life is busy. But kid as a mom with several kids is busy. What a blessing.

And that's amazing. So, so you did this about 14 years ago and then you literally gave birth to this character, How the Owl. Tell us about the creation of How the Owl, this children's book character and how that came to be. Yeah.

So fast forward like six years. I'd been promoting organization and involved with like the local kidney foundation here. But otherwise nothing, you know, too much. Then my daughter wrote her I said, you get in college and she wrote about the kidney donation and it was scary for her as a child.

But I inspired her to want to be a better person and help others. Mom. I love that. You have already won.

Okay. So, I was like so touched. And then, you know, I'm thinking back, like, there weren't, there weren't any resources for my kids. They're barely really any resources for me.

You know, there weren't any mentors available and there wasn't anyone for me to talk to. So I just did some research like, Hey, let's see what out there now, like help kids and, and I didn't really find anything. So I should write a children's book. So I'll kids understand this.

And so I like your big thinking, I'll just donate a kidney. Ah, just do children's books here. I love this. Thanks.

So yeah, I went ahead and wrote my first book, which actually wasn't a howl of a whole book. So the first one I wrote for my daughter's perspective. So she was in fifth grade at the time and my son was in second. So it's told from her perspective and it's titled, My Mom Is Having Surgery, a kidney story.

And so kind of just goes through like the real, you know, how it really went. I include a part that really happened as well with people that I like were friends, you know, co-workers, people have to ask me and I was blown away by this. And be like, well, if you're donating to somebody you don't know or barely know, like it's not your family, what if something happens to some of your family or your kids? And I never questioned that.

I guess I just, you know, had faith and this is what I was doing. And my thought was, wow, well, if everybody was going to say what if, what if, or what it be any living organization because we'd all be saving on. So yeah, I include that story and I just walk through, you know, just like what is like surgery and anesthesia and, you know, feeling sick afterwards for a little bit and what's going to be like when mom comes home, which people can't do things. So that was the first book.

And I'm proud to say that that one is being used by some different transplant center hospitals. And then there's some Facebook groups for kidney donation living donors that I see the book being recommended a lot. So you don't stop there. You know, you said, okay, this is, you know, this donated to kidney.

Now created a book that's going to help so many children understand what's going on in transplant. And then you said, well, I'm not stopping there. I'm creating a new character name, how the how did how it come about. So how well started with the thing that I came up with, which was help others with love.

And like that's kind of ultimately what organization really is, whether it's living or you know, deceased donation, like you're just helping someone else. You're helping others with love. And I realized, like, hey, that's spelled out how well. And I wanted to have a, yes, I wanted to have a few characters that kids could really relate to because I wanted the next book that I was going to write to be directly for the kids that were like going through this themselves.

And so that's how I come up with like, I'm like, how well, I like all, how well, how well. And I said, that must have been her thinking because how the draft wouldn't work. Those kinds of things. So that's interesting.

So you're talking about this with such ease. Like, I'll just write a book and see, there's a character. So were you an author before? Like, what, what did you do?

You just decided? No, no, my background is failed in marketing, which actually is quite helpful because once you actually write books, now you get them out there and get people to know about them. You know, I know I always enjoyed just a little bit of writing, writing, like if I was left because I would write little poems and rhyme. And not that my books are rhyming or not, but that was like my thing.

So I just, basically I feel like it was my calling. The first part of it was to be the kidney donor. And then the second part of it was to just be this organ donation ambassador with using my gift I got that I was given to share through the children's book. Yes, I love it.

So I was talking about it, howtheowl.com is where you can find these. And so you've written a couple of books, How Helps Others, Howl Gets a Heart, Howl Helps Bella, Howl learns about kidneys and dialysis, Howl goes to the races. So how do you get your, your just for each book, like the hook? So when I first came up with the idea, I, I knew I wanted to do like three, three books that would be like really all about organ donation.

So Howl Gets a Heart, um, he gets heart transplant. And uh, I thought about like, well, what organ, you know, should I go with? And I had heard a story of a friend that her nephew received a heart transplant. So that's what inspired me to go ahead with that story.

And the title sounds good. Howl Gets a Heart. Yeah. So, um, and then I knew I wanted to write about a little bit more heavier where a child loses a loved one and they're an organ donor.

What does that mean? You know, to help somebody little, you know, understand that, whether it's maybe mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, somebody close to them. So I had that idea, but I just didn't have my story. And then I had actually met a family at the transplant games in Cleveland in 2016.

And um, they're on the same team as us. So but two months later, the dad passed away. So the little girl is five years older than Bella. And um, that gave me my story line and I was like, okay, this is kind of the story that I wanted to write.

And um, I wrote it. I didn't know the exact details of what happened. Um, this for dad. And then I waited a few months and then I reached out to Jessica, the mom and said, Hey, you know, I'm really sorry what happened.

Um, but here's what, you know, I've been wanting to do to help kids like Bella. And she was very, um, happy and just the honor that I would honor her husband and um, you know, bring something and go to auto for what happened and, you know, explain how he helped others. So it's sad that he, you know, he dies, but he was like a superhero and he saves other people's lives, which is ultimately what I think brings comfort for many, um, donor families. So that book definitely has a purpose and that's been utilized by some different OPL groups, aftercare.

Um, so I'm very happy that that when he's serving his purpose, it's purpose as well. And then I wanted to circle back again with kidneys and include dialysis. That was technically out of the organ donation series. That's what three and then we have the overall how well that was series.

So that's, um, the how learned about kidneys and dialysis. That one just came out earlier this year, the beginning of the year and just kind of mixes up some different stories of people that I've gotten to know. And I interviewed a couple of people and asked them about dialysis because I wasn't familiar with that side of it at all. And, um, and I include kind of a coin on now for people, you know, using social media to try to find a living donor, um, how in a family they have a sign on the car.

So it's called grandpa. Um, that is a meet up with me. He's looking for a living donor while he's on the list. And then he ultimately does receive a gift of life.

Um, from a deceased donor that I wanted to tie everything together. So those are the three that really focus on organ donation. So Brenda, um, I'm a family advocate here with LOPA. So I work with families and approach for organ donation.

So I'm wondering which age range your books target so that, you know, for us and for others who know anybody who's in the donation process where we can direct them for your books if they have kids, if they're five or 12, what does your range range kind of a bigger range because of the specific purpose, probably like four, five, um, up through, like age, like 11 or so. Um, 50 because that's kind of stuff. I like to, since I still watch family guy every week. My husband too.

But I, and I have been told that the books do help adults as well. You know, it's just a simple. Yeah. I was going to say it'd be great for adults to read so that they can learn age appropriate language too.

And they're explaining to their kids or kids, they know, yeah. And then I include a glossary in the back of the book. So I don't think I did in the Bella book. I forget.

I have to look, but um, there's so many different. Um, and then starting with the Paula Bella book, I started including some real pictures, um, which the kids really really seem to like that. So like, with Bella and her family is, you know, based on a real, real story. Um, so there's pictures of her and her family.

Um, you can even see like some of the illustrations, you know, look just like what the picture is. Um, so that's me. And then, uh, Mahalo helps others one. That one to touch upon organization just a little bit.

And then that one about a little like short stories of kindness and helping others. Well, we love these books. And I know, um, as we tell you more about them, you're like, where can I find this? So how the owl.com, how the owl.com.

And of course, Brenda said she sells marketing experience or some Facebook too. So it's how the owl, that's one page and then how the owl on the parale, which I love, right? So different families are hosting him, different states. How's that working?

Yep. So different families. So far, most of them have been related, you know, to organization and somewhere and other, which is cool. Um, and some of them might actually just own their own plush.

But otherwise, you know, he's a traveling plush. A family can host him for a week or two. I think they're either going somewhere and they want to take him around or just in their own town. Um, well, you probably have some in Cajun country, right?

Urban street. No, I don't know. I don't know. Like, let's talk about this, mom.

Let's do this. You know what? She's just finishing up a trip at the Donate Life America office. Nice.

I can have them send them down your way for sure. We love him and cuddle him. I love it. Or of the Get to Life podcast, just a cool cat, right?

Um, Joey Gates. And so, um, tell us about your ties with him. Yeah. So I connected with Joey, um, which I've been connecting with a lot of people related to organization through LinkedIn.

And, you know, I saw like what his story is, you know, with his mom passing and he's just been an advocate ever since a utilizing his career in racing. And, um, you know, I had sent him some books like, Hey, if you're out and about, ever visiting kids, feel free to read my, you know, stories to them. And then, um, I was going to be in Vegas last September, um, actually for an event that I don't work about for their donor member ceremony. But it just happened that Joey was going to be there for the race, you know, that same weekend.

So I arranged to, um, meet him and, um, you know, bring a little plush howl doll and, uh, once I made that connection and like, you know, I'm, okay, we're going to go meet, it just came to me that I should write a story about like racing and get kids excited about it, you know, with Joey. Um, so I had the idea, like how it goes to the races. So, uh, he gets invited, um, along with a couple other little, uh, transplant owls in the area, um, by Joey for Oregon donation awareness day at the race. So I'm hoping I'm planting a seed with that for, uh, I love it.

Well, we've already got your next book, How the Owl on the Podcast. Let's get those creative juices up low. Yeah. Um, that's a tie in with Oregon donation and that story.

And then just going into some racing and getting kids excited for, you know, for Joey Gay, cause I love it. He is, he is great. And I love the connections. And that's really what it's all about getting people talking, reaching new audiences, educating.

I mean, you have hit it. And how's the feedback coming from families or people that you know, who have been affected by your stories? All good feedback. Um, everybody wishes that like, in the book, sort of in our own sooner.

It sounds like, um, yeah, there's definitely a need and I go out and do school visits. So even people that don't really, you know, there aren't affected by it. Um, my, another part of my mission is like, let's just get talking about this to kids and, you know, let them know what it is. And, you know, don't wait until they're affected by it somehow, or it's time to, you know, get your driver's license and decide, you know, if you want to be an organ donor or not.

So they hear all these stories and, you know, they're educated about the stats and the facts. And, um, you know, that's all part of my presentation at school, usually too. I love it. And how great the need is.

So it'll just hopefully be a no brainer than, um, and then I also hope that they go home and talk to their parents about it. And maybe they'll convince their parents they aren't a registered organ donor. That should be. And that's what we tell families registering is one thing, but going home and talking to your families is the next step in the registry process.

That's what we try to do as well. So I love that you got that part down. And I also love that, um, a portion of the proceeds from these books sales, you try to go out and help as well, right? Yeah.

So a portion of each book sold and the plush how well goes to donate life. America. Oh, good. So partner with them on that.

And then each book will state if there's the proceeds are going to like another group as well. So, um, that's the case with some of the books. You I love it. I love it.

Now, you talked about you go out and you do presentations. So we have the books. We have the plush. Is there a curriculum that you tie with that?

Is one being created or do we just plant a seed? I don't know. Um, so far it's planting a seed. Um, like I have a word search like an activity sheet.

Collar and she, um, but that would be something that I would like to really do in the future. Um, kind of tied in with science, because there is a school that has had me come back four years in a row or, um, they call it steam day. So it's kind of like someday they have me basically teach their fifth grade science for the day. And, um, you know, so I have a little 45 minute presentation and, um, starts with reading my story about my living donation.

So they, you don't know what that is. Um, so yeah, it would be something I would definitely love to create and do at schools. I love it. With groups to, you know, present on their own.

Yes. Here on the podcast, we talk about one person making a difference. Brenda, that's going to go to you today, Ma'am. Uh, we love this how the owl.com.

If you want information on the books, how the owl dot com on Facebook, it's how the owl and then how the owl on the prowl. Who knows? Maybe we'll see how in Louisiana. You got to host them, Joe.

You can take them around. I love it. I love it. Brenda, we thank you, uh, for being here and for taking the time and for doing what you do.

Thank you so much for, for having me. I really appreciate the opportunity to share the story. At this point in the podcast, we take a moment from mental health with Ms. Sarah.

Last episode we talked about relaxation techniques for adults. Still working on that. Yep. Trying.

So what do we have on tap our city, Sarah? All right. So today we're going to talk about relaxation techniques for children. Oh, can you come to my house?

This we love to. So, um, as we said, it's really important to be able to relax yourself when you're feeling stressed and anxiety. And the same is obviously true for kids because children experience stress and anxiety just like adults do just in different ways. Mm hmm.

So one technique we can talk about is what we like to call belly breathing. And these are all things that we should do with our kids too. If they're feeling stressed, we should be mirroring the techniques with them. So is that like when I'm finishing my crossfit, I'm laying on the ground, and my belly's just going.

Yes. Yes. And most importantly, so you breathe in and you push your belly out and then when you breathe out, you let it relax. And so it's basically you're focusing on what you're doing.

So again, make sure you're doing this with your kid and you're making good eye contact and you're at their level. So that was a no joke for you. As we all know, deep breaths in general are relaxing. Even if you take one or two, it can reduce some stress.

Um, the next thing we like to do with kids is what we call blowing bubbles. Not the ones that you get in a jar or a can, but that's relaxing. What you do with your lips. So that's fun.

Yeah. Yeah. And it makes you take it home, right? Yes.

And I know a lot of people do that when they're stressed anyways, and it's a good practice because what it does makes you do is take a deep breath. Oh, and overwhelmed and just like, oh, that didn't come out right. Normally it happens. Yes.

Practice makes perfect. Yes. If your kid is experiencing a lot of stress, you can get in front of them and you can start it so you can go and they'll look at you and start to mirror. You might laugh at it, which relieve stress.

Actors is the best stress reliever. Yeah. And it just gets you to focus on something outside of what your stress are anxious about. Okay.

Um, another really great one is counting. So slow, focused counting. So one, two, three, all with breath. So with children, especially breathing is the most effective way to relax a child and to help them relax.

And it makes you feel more relaxed. Okay. Now when you were a kid, Joey, we're on take you back. A couple of decades here.

One, one, two. These were not the recommended relaxation group. We didn't get any of this stuff when I was a kid. You know, it was just like, all right, let's say, let's play a relaxing game.

And then, you know, we make ourselves pass out. We had no idea that was a level between that and, you know, being excited. Don't try this at home, right? You're even excited about your past.

So those are good. And I can see like if my other ones in the middle of a tantrum, it's, we got to distract them in some way, shape or form. So they're just new tools to add to our toolbox, help them out. Yeah, it's distracting and then physically relaxing.

It's these are great techniques you can use with any kid. Oh, we probably should have done this last episode because this ultimately is more relaxed adult. Yes. I love it.

All right. So maybe you have something you want Miss Sarah to address info at the gifted life. Dot work. In every episode of the gifted life podcast, we honor a hero.

Today's hero is Emily Simmers. And we learn about Emily from her family. Emily was our beautiful princess. She was a very happy child that loved to live life.

Emily enjoyed playing outdoors, jumping on trampolines, riding four wheelers and horses. She had passion for animals, especially horses and kittens. She loved chocolate so much that her shoes was the first word she learned how to spell. Emily loved to swim so much.

We called her our little mermaid. She had the most giving heart. We miss our Emily very much, but we are honored that she gave the gift of life to five people. And now we pause and say thank you to Emily for the gift of life.

In our question and answer segment, this one's for you, Laurie. OK, can a child be registered as an organ tissue and eye donor? And I love that you're just thinking about this question. It varies from state to state.

But in Louisiana, where we are, you can register at any age. Now it doesn't become legally binding until 18, but that's why we focus on education here in Louisiana. We want those conversations had. We want you talking about organ tissue and eye donation in a positive way.

We want you to make a family decision. So yes, how about that? Awesome. There you have it.

And we want to hear from you. Email your questions to info at thegiftedlife.org or you can give us a call at 504-648-3477. We may even play your message on the podcast. And that'll do it for episode one, 15 of the gifted life.

Yeah, we love spending time with Brenda Cartes. And so happy that you share. How are you with us? Awesome.

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And we do hope that you go out and do something you would normally do to help us make life happen. We're a team and we'll talk to you next time. This is a production of Loba, or the Louisiana Organ Procurement Agency. The Gifted Life is hosted by Lori Steele, Joey Buudro, and Sarah Blakemore.

Our executive producer is Kirsten Heis, producer Ishelon Caraway. Intern is Rebecca Rannam, and we are recorded, engineered and mixed in our Covington, Louisiana Studio by Troy Perez.