Hummusmaxxing

We return from what may or may not have been a long break. Honestly, we recorded some episodes out of order, so nobody really knows where we are in the timeline anymore. Before figuring out our own lore, we have some bad news: The Spleen is in the hospital after crashing an Uber at three times the speed limit. His prognosis remains unclear, though he was reportedly administered 30 cc's of Funyuns. From there, we meander through Spencer getting bitten by a large dog whose elderly owner was being dragged down a hiking trail like an upturned Koopa shell, a coworker who died and was eulogized via workplace intercom sandwiched between parking reminders and a car show announcement, and an airport encounter with a man who was absolutely convinced that eating large quantities of homemade hummus was directly improving his tennis game. Kevin then arrives at his Las Vegas hotel to discover Mr. Beast staring at him outside his window, and somehow this is the least weird part of the episode. We debate whether their podcast intro saying "white lives" is giving undue prominence to white lives, and discuss the chaotic teenage internet figure known as "Clavicular," who has been bone-smashing, meth-smoking, and tying backpacks to his genitals in pursuit of physical perfection. Spencer also reveals he has relapsed into smoking weed, while learning game development in Godot partly to spite his father, and has committed to invoking "Michael Jordan Flu Game" as a life philosophy. Listener emails round things out, including a fan whose wife assumed Spencer was "an educated black man." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices