I Am Learning How To Live With The Replay

Send us Fan MailGrief does not just hurt, it rewires your days. I’m juggling the ordinary and the unbearable at the same time: picking up my granddaughters after therapy, planning a whale watching trip that’s equal parts excitement and anxiety, and trying to let it sink in that my daughter is taking me to Hawaii. These “yes” moments feel surreal, but they’re also how I’m building new memories when everything inside me wants to shut down.I also share a raw update on my mental health and healing process, including my first group therapy session. When it’s my turn to talk, I can’t get the words out at first, and that experience reminds me how real trauma lives in the body. We talk about common grief patterns like intrusive replay, the exhausting “should’ve” thoughts, unexpected anger, and the strange feeling of catching yourself laughing and not knowing what to do with it.Creativity is the thread I’m holding onto. From setting up an easel and trying to paint my way back to brightness, to reading for perspective, to making art with kids, I’m looking for practical ways to stay here. My granddaughters even design their own custom mahjong tiles using their drawings, including a little cryptid they call “pants,” and that kind of playful making brings real light into a heavy season.If you’re navigating grief, trauma, or creative healing, come listen, then share what helps you get through the hardest moments. Subscribe, send this to a friend who needs hope, and leave a review so more people can find Beautifully Made.Support the showCatch the doodles on YouTubeMy socials:Sign up for my monthly newsletterPortfolio website: Brewtifully.comInstagram: /BrewtifullyFacebook: /brewtifullyTikTok: GettingSmallwithGrandmaLinkedIn: Tracy Dawn Brewer