I Can't Stop Thinking About My Baby Dying (Featuring Alex Pemoulie)

In this episode, I talk to my friend Alex Pemoulie (Restaurant Worker's Community Foundation) about her infant son going through open heart surgery after finding out he was at high risk of losing his life to a heart defect. She discusses postpartum depression and how it manifested in her being obsessed with the death of her children and the irony of her child being found out later to have a possibly fatal heart defect. We also talk about how her grief showed up in a form of a psychotic break months before the procedure, so that by the time she was experiencing the surgery, she was calm and collected. We talk about how she felt the hospital staff were confused by her calmness and how that could appear as coldness to strangers who did not know about how she grieved the surgery months before.