I didn’t live down to your expectations

Everything I love is in boxes in a room I don’t enter in a house I can’t afford And a girl with a bell on her bike just rode by and I’m jealous of what I was before She did the same double take I’d have done at her age at me as she peddled along Her whole life’s ahead of her as she circles the block and she saw me sitting alone I just spit into the wind but I forgot I’m facing it so I just spit on myself My parents just a few miles away would love to hear I punished myself Is this real Is this money Is this what I earned in a lifetime of trying to shine as I’ve been burned and every second that I turn is another land mine and a furnace that explodes into my face I can’t control the lottery but a lot of me Would bet that if I won I’d still be a family disgrace HEY JAYNE didn’t you pack all those boxes with tape and stack them up high on the ceiling? HEY JAYNE didn’t you rent your own place and then get fired for not fully healing? HEY JAYNE didn’t you abandon your life and make your parents pay for it all? and HEY JAYNE didn’t you catch all your charges for bullying someone whose trip made you fall? Is this real Is this money Is this what I earned in a lifetime of trying to shine but I’ve still been burned and the second that I turn in another life is another land mine and a furnace that explodes into my face I can’t control the lottery But I still bet a lot of me That if I'd won I’d be a family disgrace HEY JAYNE didn’t you pack all those boxes with tape and stack them up high to the ceiling? HEY JAYNE didn’t you rent your place for yourself and then get fired for not fully healing? HEY JAYNE didn’t you abandon your life and then you make your parents pay for it all? HEY JAYNE didn’t you catch all your charges for bullying someone whose trip made you fall? And is this real Is this money Is this what I earned in a lifetime of trying to shine but I’ve still been burned Every second that I turn is another land mine And a furnace that explodes into my face And I can’t control the lottery But I would bet a lot of me That I… if I won I would still... And I can’t control the lottery But I would bet a lot of me That if I won I’d still be a family disgrace. Is this real Is this the money I thought I earned Is the life that I was trying to shine through And every second I’ve just been burned HEY JAYNE didn’t you do this to yourself? HEY JAYNE didn’t you do this to yourself?