"I Didn't Think I Was An Alcoholic!" Addiction Recovery. School of Rock Bottom 81: Emily Horwood

The rock bottom myth can be dangerous because it sells the idea that everyone has to to wait for one dramatic, Hollywood moment. But what if it’s actually a slow burn… gradually losing yourself without even realising? Today I sit down with Emily Horwood to look at the reality of alcohol addiction, sobriety, relapse, and recovery. From blackouts as a parent, mixing alcohol and coke, to building a thriving sober community, this is a conversation about what it really takes to change your life. Emily is a former teacher, single mum, and psychology student who is now three years sober and helping others find connection beyond alcohol. Emily opens up about the slow burn of addiction, describing her rock bottom not as one explosive moment but as years spent “crawling along the bottom,” culminating in a terrifying blackout where she couldn’t remember putting her children to bed. It’s a stark reminder that suffering doesn’t always look dramatic from the outside.We explore the dangerous myths around what an “alcoholic” looks like, and why so many people delay getting help because their lives appear functional. Emily shares how societal drinking culture, particularly in her twenties, normalised behaviours that would later become deeply destructive, and how an abusive relationship compounded her loss of identity and self-worth.The conversation moves into recovery, beginning with one message that changed everything. Emily reflects on reaching out for help, attending her first meeting, and why desperation became the turning point. From 12-step programmes to online communities, sober curiosity, and building her own support networks, this episode highlights that there is no single path to recovery, only the one that works for you.They also speak candidly about relapse, the “yet” concept, and how quickly addiction can take hold again. Emily’s description of returning to drinking after 18 months sober is a sobering insight into the reality of addiction, and why ongoing connection and self-awareness are essential.Beyond sobriety, this episode is about growth. Emily shares how recovery has reshaped her identity, challenging long-held beliefs about who she was and uncovering a deeper sense of self. They discuss post-traumatic growth, the power of connection, and why building a meaningful life is about more than just removing alcohol.Emily also talks about creating Sober Walkers, a growing community built on connection and accountability, and her new project, The Connection Couch, which brings people together for real, honest conversations about recovery and growth in an increasingly disconnected world.If you’ve ever thought your drinking “isn’t bad enough,” this episode is a reminder that you don’t need to wait for things to fall apart. Change is possible, and it starts with being curious enough to ask the question.Support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e https://womensaid.org.ukhttps://refuge.org.ukThank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -www.gavinsisters.co.uk use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off! Topics -0:00 Trailer & Intro 3:15 A rock bottom moment 5:15 My rock bottom wasn't dramatic 9:20 Drink, coke, fun and chaos 12:20 An abusive relationship drives addiction 15:15 What are the 'YETS' in recovery?19:30 What Emily tried first to get sober 22:20 What lies did addiction tell you?25:45 Only functioning on the outside27:45 How many meetings should you try?30:40 AA IS NOT THE ONLY WAY!35:15 Finding a sponsor and being of service 37:30 I couldn't accept I am alcoholic & relapse41:40 Quick fire questions!49:45 Sober Walkers & The Connection Couch54:30 Is my drinking bad enough yet!?Follow Emily Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/stepping_on_the_sober_trainhttps://www.instagram.com/theconnectioncouchFollow Oliver https://linktr.ee/olivermasonWatch or listen here -YouTube - https://youtu.be/QGfL-OZDV5QApple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 #AddictionRecovery #Sobriety #Sober