Run to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today. So hopefully I'm not too long-winded for you guys, but I'm calling for some relationship help as long as financial advice. My husband, five years, unfortunately, has a history of infidelity where he talks to other women.
Well, he's caught him with his ex-girlfriend, things like that, talking to them inappropriately. I'm sorry. And so things are going well though. And then, sorry, he also has a little bit of history of alcohol, but that has gotten better.
Sorry, but things are going well. And we were expecting a baby at the end of the summer. Oh, wow. And because we're expecting a baby, we bought a bigger home.
And we literally just moved into it a couple of weeks ago. And I still have the old home that's under my name and my dad's name because I got that prior to marrying my husband. But unfortunately, on Friday, I found an explicit photo on my husband's computer like that he recently received from his ex-girlfriend. Oh, stay safe.
I'm so sorry. Yeah. So it opens up old wounds. Oh, of course it does.
Did y'all go to marriage? Did y'all go to therapy at all for all of this? Has he done any work on himself? We did some therapy in the past.
But it's all online. It's so hard to get someone a couple of therapy together. And he kind of just says, I'm going to get better and get better. But we're only.
Yeah, no, there's something off going on that he needs healing from. And only he can do that because it's a repeated pattern. And it will continue. You know, like, self will doesn't just get you out of stuff like this.
He has some deep work that he has to do if he chooses to. Has this become physical in person anyway? No, I don't think so. Like, and I believe him and I don't think you would ever physically cheat on me.
It's just emotional cheating over time. Yeah. I mean, it's still the same pain. The infidelity is still self is very real.
OK, so how can we help? What's your main question? So sorry. So then going to financial advice, we just moved into this new home.
Higher interest rate, bigger home, bigger loan. The next day, after finding out about this, sorry, this is all kind of new. No, you're fine. No, take your time.
You're good. The next day, I got all cash offer on the old home. But I was sitting there in the big home alone by myself. And I was like, there's no way I could stay in this house.
If things don't go well, I'm a single mom. Like, this home is more expensive, bigger lot to take care of, things like that. So I kind of had like a conference call with my parents because they kind of know about the history. And my realtor, I said, I don't want to sell the old home.
I think I got my question is, and I hope I'm making a right decision, go back into the old home. Less interest rate, less monthly payment, less loan. Sell the new home. I just have a lot of guilt.
OK. Yes. Obviously spent all this money, like, and I'm going to have realtor fees and things like that. And sure.
OK, tell me this. Stacy, how much is the new mortgage payment? Hey, George here for Churchill Mortgage. Listen, with interest rates dropping, this might be your window to buy a home or refinance.
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That's Churchill Mortgage.com slash Ramsay Offer. This is a paid advertisement, NMLSID, 1.591, NMLS, and Sumerexis.org, equal housing lender. Stacy, how much is the new mortgage payment? The new mortgage payment is probably going to be around like 2,500 a month.
The new? OK. And how much do you guys bring home a month as a household? Well, with my husband would be around 200 or so.
200,000 a year? Yeah. OK. And then what would you be making if you, you know, down the line?
If I ended up being on my own, I make around 140. 140? OK. And on the old home is like 1,500 a month.
What's half the interest rate? 1,500. OK. But you probably clear what, close to 10,000-ish, a little less, a month?
Yeah. Yeah. OK. Because the mortgage isn't completely.
Yeah. Where's comes worse? You could afford this new house mortgage on your own and still have cushion. Yeah.
How much would your other home sell for? How much was the cash offer? 420. 420.
Oh, what are you on that one? Sorry. 410. 410.
And I owe probably around 140 left on it. OK. And what other debt do you guys have? I probably have 15,000.
I could easily pay off. But I, it's old student loans that I should just pay off. Sorry. A little guilty.
I look at you guys. No, you're good. No guilt, no shame, no condemnation. Yeah.
I couldn't pay that. Well, I'm trying to figure out a way. Do you love the new house? Would you want to stay there if it made sense financially?
With the baby, it's a big house. And I guess I'm still like, do I want to do this on my own? I think it'd be harder to do that big house on my own. Like, it's just such a big home.
It's just a big home. So you're talking, Stacey, very like, you sound finalized in your conversation with us about him. Your new chapter is solo. Yeah.
Is that where you, I mean, I can't imagine that the heartbreak is. Yeah. So for now, for sure, I need some time to separate because, obviously, whatever I've done in the past has not worked out. OK.
So I need it. I obviously like, sorry, there's so many emotions. And it's kind of hard. But I obviously want to have a family.
I want to raise our son in a good environment with a good dad. But right now, I think I need to take some time. And so I don't have like 100% what will happen in the future. But I like to be serious and make sure to keep focus on himself and get help.
Yes. Yeah. 100%. And I get that.
It's not a healthy situation. And to live with broken trust or whole marriage is not a great marriage. And so the work, yeah, we always, I mean, our prayer for situations always is that redemption and reconciliation. And the prayer is that two people find healing and it stays in tact.
Like we want that. But also, we know the reality and also know that you have to take care of yourself and this new baby too. So I have an option that maybe we haven't thought about. What is the mortgage on the new house?
Sorry, the mortgage on the new house would probably be around 2,500. No, I mean the balance of the mortgage. Oh, sorry. The balance of the mortgage would probably be like around 300.
So if I sell my old house, sorry, depending on equity and things like that, then it'd be probably around 300. Oh, god. So this is all for the loan. Sorry for the loan.
So you haven't taken out a mortgage out of the new house? Oh, no. Sorry. Sorry.
I'm bad with these finance. 560,000. That's the current balance. Is that OK?
No, we put 200 down. That kind of was it. And that's without your home with my parents. Oh, so you owe them that money back?
No, because I have equity in the other house with my dad. But I'm saying if you sold it, you can't use that money toward the new mortgage. You'd use that money to pay back your parents. Probably the difference.
My plan was just to pay them back. That's 200 grand? Yeah, because of the equity. I know I first have at least 200 and equity.
You probably walk away with like 250. That's why I'm trying to get at it. If you use that 250 to put onto your new mortgage and then did something called a recast, it would drastically lower your payment. You basically throw a lump sum at the new mortgage and they can take it down.
So you're saying sell the smaller home? Yep. Pay off the parents. Take the remaining payment on this new house.
It might take your payment down to 2100, for example, just to give you a little more cushion. But again, it doesn't solve all the problems. I thought you could throw all 250 at it. That would really lower the mortgage and make you sleep better at night.
But that feels like the least of your worries at this point. Yeah, I honestly say, see, I probably just say put it. I don't think I would make any big decisions right now. And if you need the separation, do the separation.
I wouldn't do much right now. And a year from now, you need to sell? Yes. Yeah, I probably would wait a little bit.
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