brought to you by the Every Dollar App, start budgeting for free today. I am a figure that will have two adult children that lives with me and have no attention of moving on out on your own. When my kids are little, my daughter, the youngest was four and I got divorced. So I shifted the blame on myself that I was responsible for people who are kind of in a big responsibility to study, in able both of them to be totally dependent on me.
How old are they today? 27, 21. When we were little, I saved more than I am now. When my son turned 18, I asked him I was even in his name, took up credit cards or just all credit cards for him.
And when he graduated high school, his credit school was 780. I did the same for my daughter when she turned 18, built for credit to 780, gives each of them their credit cards and to them just run with it. Recently I decided to purchase a home. I've been waiting and waiting in the market if not getting any better.
So I figured, well, I'll just go ahead and purchase anyway, whatever I have, whatever the market has right now. So I found a lending officer and I asked to have my name and my two children on the loan. Why? I got this.
Why would you put your two children on? I figure if it's just me, I wouldn't get the amount based on the market, the market. I'm a little bit confused because I thought you were calling me because you had enabled these children and you're wanting to stop doing pretty much pretty much if you want to stop doing that, you don't put them on the loan. Okay.
They need to be on their own and you need to be on your own as standalone sustainable adults. So how are we going to cut them loose? What are we going to do? Hey, sorry for the interruption.
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That's knockbox.com slash Ramsey. So how are we going to cut them loose? What are we going to do? I don't know.
Yeah, you do. You say, you say in three months in three months, you are moving out. Okay. In three months, you're going to have a job and you're going to be on your own.
You're 27 years old, you're 21 years old, you're leaving. And it sounds like that move. Say, but it's more scary for you than it's going to be for them. You are so dependent upon them.
I mean, it sounds like from an emotional standpoint and everything. I mean, you've put so much relational stock in them and you're loneliness is going to be knocking at the door as they exit. And so you're going to have to deal with you really for the first time possibly. Because it sounds like there's been some avoiding and in a sense kind of medicating right with their relationship with you and you're detaching that.
So I think that this move is going to be harder for you than them. A little bit of both because I did give them kind of like an automation for the end of the year because I wanted to. I could even put them on the loan because of how bad the credit has got him. So I got approved and I'm looking like, okay, I don't know why that would be a shock.
I mean, you taught these kids to borrow money and run their credit score up. And then your shock that they did that, I wouldn't be shocked. I think that's exactly what you're taught them to do. Okay, there's no there's no shock of your life.
I mean, when you when you take a 17 year old and you run up a pico score by running up their credit card debt and you teach them that's how they're supposed to live, then they go live that way. That's what they're going to do. And no, no, no, no, no, I built it credit. I know by borrowing money and using credit cards.
But I paid it off to built in. I know, but you taught them the best way to have a quality life is be throwing this plastic around and then they threw the plastic around. So absolutely. So I think, you know, end of the year is fine.
Three months is fine. Whatever you want to do, but you need to put a set date on it. And then you need to start asking yourself what must be true in my life for me to be okay, emotionally when they leave and what must be true in their life for them to actually be able to eat and not be in the homeless shelter. So we got to help them, you know, between now and Christmas, we got to have a plan.
And the great news is is that everyone in the story gets to grow up. Everyone here gets to have dignity, standalone adult dignity for the first time ever. And in first time since you got a four year old for you and first time for them, because they don't have the dignity of being a standalone adult. They're, you know, stuck in their mother's mess.
Yeah. And weirdly, you guys are kind of the same age financially as you continue to learn how to handle money. Cause it sounds like, say, but you know, getting even just the basics, uh, principles, the common sense principles that we talk about on the show implemented in your life is one of the first steps. So if you hold on the line, Christian's gonna pick up and we'll just give you guys like three copies of total money makeover.
I think just starting from the basic and learning the baby steps and all three of you guys will be learning this at the same time. But that's like, I mean, that's a beautiful gift of, you know, the humility to say kids, I did this really wrong. And the way I taught you and showed you how money works, you know, I got bad news. Good news is you're getting ready to be growing up on your own.
The bad news is you're getting ready to be growing up on your own. And so yeah, that's, that's not a bad mom move. No, that's a good mom move. Yes, exactly.
So don't have the shame and the guilt around it. Good mom's gonna say, I made a mistake and I'm gonna fix this. Bad news is I made a mistake. The good news is I'm gonna make a mistake anymore.
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