I Found My Dream Home By Asking For What I Couldn't Afford

I’m recording this one from Maison Emrita — my new home in Toulouse, the ‘impossible’ (hah!) forest witch cottage with a garden bang in the city. And I admit, I’ve been procrastinating a little, I didn’t realise how much emotion I was holding about sharing the story behind it, what it took to go for it then be in it with the pattern of the light through the leaves on my desk like sunlight dancing on the river next to me, and the life design and time expansion tools I used along the way. So this is a voice note about wanting things fully, asking for what you need, and learning to trust yourself enough to fall, plus tools & exercises you can actually use yourself right now, today.🛠 Tools & Exercises from This Episode1. The Self-Identity Audit Think about the thing that keeps appearing in the corners of your mind — the one you journal about, notice when others have it, but quietly believe isn’t for you.Ask yourself:* What is it about the way I see myself that makes me think this isn’t for me?* What is it about the people who do have it that makes it feel completely fine for them?Apply this to money, love, lifestyle, business, health. Make a few notes. That’s the area to work on.2. Strategic Daydreaming Before you put any limits on what you’re looking for — don’t.Do your first search, your first exploration, your first vision with no budget cap, no practical filter, no “but realistically.” Just ask: what do I actually want? Let yourself gather data on how it feels. Build your capacity to want.3. Strategic Cheekiness Once you know what you want, ask for it anyway — even if it feels like a stretch. Be transparent. Show up as yourself. Be honest at every step and then let the situation, the person, the opportunity decide. Your job is just to ask.4. Deciding Ahead of Time Set your limits and boundaries with yourself before you’re in the room, before you’re in the negotiation, before you’re in the feeling. Decide in advance what you will and won’t accept. It makes it infinitely easier to hold your space when you’re actually in it.5. The Self-Treatment Check Ask yourself honestly: how do I treat myself when things don’t go to plan?This is not a small question. The way you treat yourself after things fall apart directly marks out the distance of your race. You cannot run beyond it — your inner critic will snap the bungee cord and pull you back every time, until you feel safe enough to fall and trust yourself to get back up.6. Practising Being in Trust When you’re waiting — for the answer, the outcome, the decision — practise the thought: if it’s meant for me, it will be easy. If this is mine, it will flow.Notice what in your life has felt like struggle and resistance versus what has felt like slipping into cold water — heightened, present, alive, but not forced. That contrast is data.7. Integration Before Action When you arrive somewhere new — a home, a chapter, a decision, a version of yourself — resist the urge to fill it immediately. Be still. Learn the rhythm. Feel what the next right thing is each day, rather than doing everything at once.You can find ✨The Life Atelier my 1:1 coaching programme here (20% off in May). You can find me on Instagram here. You can find Joy Studio my community for women in business — here.In this episode we talk about:00:00 — why I almost didn’t record this episode 01:00 — starting before you feel ready 02:00 — what life design and time expansion coaching actually means 03:30 — the school holiday feeling and why I want it for everyone 05:15 — introducing The Life Atelier and the three containers 06:45 — the slow vinyasa lesson: why going slow builds more muscle than going fast08:00 — the internet cutting out — and the three-day decision that changed everything 09:45 — why the 3-month Focused container might be right for you (and when it’s not) 10:55 — pricing, the June increase, and how to lock in current rates 12:00 — always wanting a home with nature — and the conflict between city and wild13:45 — two houses isn’t a luxury: rewriting your self-identity story 16:00 — strategic daydreaming: searching with no limits first 17:30 — the first viewing, the missed train, and the hobbit-sized bedroom 21:00 — being strategically cheeky: asking for what you want anyway 23:00 — holding your space in the room and deciding your limits ahead of time 24:30 — the hermit crab moment: what it feels like to be fully exposed and vulnerable26:30 — “if this one exists, there must be another one” — building trust in rejection27:30 — how you treat yourself after things don’t go to plan is the real limit on your ambition 29:00 — the call from my landlord (and the quiet street where I cried) 30:45 — when things are aligned, they flow — introducing the Joy Code 32:00 — integration: learning the rhythm of a new space before filling it 34:30 — co-regulation and why my nervous system purring changes yours too 35:30 — what your own dreams are asking you to make space for 36:00 — the complimentary Life Design Session: what it is and how to bookResources:✦ Book a complimentary Life Design Session → emmalavelle.co ✦ The Life Atelier — 3, 5 & 10 month containers, 20% off until 31 May ✦ Prices increase significantly on 1 June — you can lock in current rates and start later in the yearReflection prompts from this episode:What is it that keeps appearing in the corners of your mind — in your journal, in what you notice other people have?What is it about the way you see yourself that makes you think it isn’t for you?And how do you treat yourself when things don’t go to plan? That answer tells you exactly how much joy and ambition you can hold right now.Joy Ambition is your weekly voice note with me, Emma Lavelle — life design and time expansion coach, and founder of The Life Atelier. New episodes every week.Thanks for reading Joy Ambition! This post is public so feel free to share it. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit emmalavelleco.substack.com/subscribe