I hate 3 am

I hate 3 am. It’s when I often wake up only to realize it’s not morning. Most nights, that’s all it is, and I go back to sleep. But some nights, 3 am is the hour of fear and doubt—the hour of worry. The hour of questions I can’t answer, and the hour of questions I am not sure I even want an answer to. Not long ago, I had a night exactly like this, and it gave me a new take on a familiar passage: 1st Corinthians 13.If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. 1 Cor 1-3The text goes on to describe love and discuss our current limitations in knowledge and understanding until Paul summarizes his thoughts in the next few lines.For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. 1 Cor 13:12-13At 2:34 am that morning, everything I thought I knew and had ever done seemed utterly pointless. Every deed I had ever done seemed hopelessly corrupted by hidden or not-so-hidden, selfish motives. Oh, and I had also failed my wife and my kids, just for good measure. I thought, what do I have? Has my life produced anything good? Is there any hope at all?It was at this point that God mercifully interrupted my thoughts with another thought. There is hope, but it rests in faith, not faith in me or what I have done, but faith in what Jesus has already done. But I countered his encouragement with another failure and wondered, “Can you still be interested in helping me?” This is when God dropped this passage into my head. I have heard this passage quoted at weddings so many times that I am not sure that I have ever seriously considered what Paul was really saying with it. Paul was not trying to encourage newlyweds. He was discussing the futility of our best efforts in impressing God. Paul understood better than most that pure religious zeal, no matter how extreme, could ever elevate our status with God. We do have hope, but our hope flows from our faith in Jesus and the sufficiency of His love and sacrifice for us. But that hope was never intended to exist in a vacuum; it doesn’t exist only for itself. It is his gift to us - one that we must share, and we share this gift by demonstrating his love to others.Now faith, hope, and love abide. But the greatest of these is…love. I am flawed, and I have failed, but I don’t lose hope. In love, Jesus gave us all hope—if we would only believe. However, love can not be bottled up and kept; it can only be given. If we try to save our lives, we will lose them. It is only when love is given that it grows into life and abundant life. The life we give brings life, hope, and faith to others. When we give our lives, we find them. It sounds backward, but it is the only way that true love works. Our love is a small reflection of the life Jesus gave for us.This WeekSo, where am I today? And what can I do in response to all of this? I need to stop worrying about what I get out of everything and start thinking about how to help and encourage others. In other words, I must reflect the love Jesus has shown me to others.Jesus showed this kindness to me again that night, even when my faith was flagging at 3 am. Now, I must show that same grace to others, even on their worst days. This week, let’s change our question from “What do I have left?” to “What can I give to others?” Let’s find our lives again as we give them to others.Have a great week! Get full access to On walking the Way at tompossin.substack.com/subscribe