I Hate Talking Before Processing

Send us Fan Mail Episode 8 centers around the theme of "elastic"—both as a noun (the material) and an adjective (describing something that can stretch and return to its original shape). The hosts use this as a metaphor to explore the concept of elasticity in people, particularly in how individuals process thoughts and conversations.Key Topics Discussed:1. Word of the Episode: ElasticThe episode opens with a playful discussion about the word "elastic," distinguishing between the noun (the material itself) and the adjective (describing something stretchy, like elastic pants).This leads to a deeper metaphorical exploration of elasticity as a human trait—how people can be flexible or resilient in thought and behavior.2. Verbal vs. Nonverbal ProcessingThe hosts revisit a previous conversation about verbal processors (people who think out loud) versus nonverbal processors (those who process internally).They note that while "verbal processor" is a well-documented term, "nonverbal processor" is often described simply as the opposite, sometimes called internal processor versus external processor.3. Personal Processing StylesOne host explains how they need to talk things out loud (even to themselves) to come to conclusions, while the other thinks things through internally and speaks only after solidifying their thoughts.This difference has caused misunderstandings in their relationship, especially early on, but they have learned to respect and accommodate each other's styles by allowing time between initial discussion and final decision-making.4. Implications for CommunicationThe episode emphasizes the importance of recognizing these different processing styles in conversations, whether with friends, spouses, or new acquaintances.The hosts share experiences about how some people might need encouragement or time to open up, and how assumptions about silence or delayed responses can be misleading.5. Reflection and Emotional ProcessingThey discuss how some people verbally process shame or social interactions by talking them through, while others internalize these feelings silently.This leads to a reflection on how internal processors might carry emotional memories for years without sharing them, while external processors might need to vocalize to work through feelings.6. Middle Ground Between Processing StylesThe hosts consider whether there is a middle ground between verbal and internal processing.They suggest an experiment for verbal processors to try internal processing first to see how it changes their decision-making and understanding.7. Practical TakeawaysThe episode closes with practical advice on how to navigate conversations with different processing styles:Allow time for internal processors to think before expecting a response.Encourage verbal processors to articulate thoughts to clarify understanding.Recognize that talking and thinking are not mutually exclusive but part of a spectrum.Overall, Episode 8 uses the metaphor of "elasticity" to explore the flexible and varied ways people process thoughts and emotions, highlighting the importance of patience and understanding in communication. It offers listeners insights into their own and others' cognitive styles and encourages empathy in conversations. Support the show---Any views expressed on this podcast are those solely of the hosts and is for entertainment purposes only. None of the content is medical advice or financial advice. Special thanks to Tim Wright aka CoLD SToRAGE for his permission to use the song Operatique.