I Have Discovered My Husband's Relapses More Than a Dozen Times. What Now?

In this episode, Mark and Steve address a major challenge faced by many betrayed spouses—they keep uncovering and discovering their addict partner's relapses and bad behaviors. The addict may get some "sobriety" under his belt, but refuses to lead out by proactively pursuing his own recovery work. It seems the only time he does much of anything is when he "gets caught." Here's the situation a PBSE listener presented—i am messaging you from sunny England about my husband who doesn't know if he is an addict or not. He is 42, I am nearly 40 and we have 3 children. We have been together for 20 years. His porn use has been an issue for over 15years now, and so far, we have had [more than a dozen] D-Days. Your last podcast really resonated with me, where the guy started by saying he had just been found out for the 8th time. It hit me, that [after so many discoveries] still nothing has changed. My husband claims to be porn free for over a year now. I have not found any evidence of use, but his attitude is still as bad as ever. He claims that because he hasn't used for over a year, he must no longer be addicted; in fact he doesn't know if he ever was! He is not in therapy, he is simply just not watching that stuff anymore. In your personal opinion how long can someone realistically white knuckle? Years? Decades? He is the most stubborn person you will ever come across. I am constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop and genuinely don't know where to turn at this point. Many thanks for all that you do for us betrayed wives.What can or should a betrayed spouse do in a "stuck place" like this or other similar situations? Mark and Steve offer some important insights and guidance. Learn more about Mark and Steve's new online program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve three times a week--addicts, spouses and couples! Visit—daretoconnectnow.comFind out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension CounselingLearn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling ServicesHere's an article about how to HEAL from Betrayal Trauma—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/healing-betrayal-trauma-videoTo learn more about HOW to overcome porn and sex addiction, check out this article—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction