brought to you by the every dollar app start budgeting for free today my fiance is the one that is in charge of all the financial aspect of our lives and anytime i need any type of money uh... i have to ask for it so that's my question how can i make receive money without any other form of accessing money i don't think that is the solution to this problem and you know that to this is a bandaid that you have to go make money as a stay-at-home other because he doesn't give you any access how long is this been going on uh... it's always been on and off uh... since i became a day-at-home i'm six years ago six years goodness gracious okay uh...
when you say he controls the finances you have no access to the bank accounts no not none whatsoever if i need money for groceries for the kids for myself and i have asked for it and it has to be the exact amount that i'm spending okay in jennifer i'm sure throughout six years you have asked him for access correct uh... you have asked him for money practice and i've asked him for my good and i'm going to say what is he said when he when he had access or to any of the card and he did it to live what is he say it's a hundred percent no if i want uh... he can give me some sort of a lot of but i have to send a lot of the two account what's causing you to stay in this relationship as i see obvious kids together and everything but what what is causing you to be in functioning like this for six years honestly uh... i'm not too sure you'd be better on the alimony and child support at least that's forced to the courts and you can do what you want the money without having an adult japper i've heard that before i've been told that before yes a jennifer you're in a pretty toxic relationship that's probably goes beyond money this is financial abuse is it there's no other way to say it yeah okay here to all certain basically a marriage you're not legally married but you have to get together you've been together for six years one of you is a state-home parent and you don't have there's no shared equity in the household he doesn't trust you or a special child to him is always is always functioning in the relationship and so uh...
at least the babysitter gets paid without having to ask this is a crazy but you think that he's made you think this is normal and it's okay and it's just well as to the way he is he's a little controlling sometimes and then he's like at me asking is like me telling him but it doesn't feel that way you know uh... so it doesn't feel like it's not that's not true so my i want to know from each and for what's causing you to stay with this man you've worked too hard to get control of your money just to let strangers control your data every online sign up discount code and free trial comes at a cost your information and delete me helps you take back control their privacy experts find your personal info on sketchy data broker sites they delete it and they keep it gone meaning you stay in charge of what's yours so protect your privacy and get twenty percent off an annual plan at join delete me dot com slash ramsi that's join delete me dot com slash ramsi what's causing you to stay with this man i'm not sure if i can be the children if i'm being completely on it yeah yeah i think it's a bigger question for you jennifer on what do you want life to look like in the next two years five years ten years for you and that's a really really scary uh... question i think always because what the answer is what i think you know what the answer is is going to mean a lot of hard and new change uh... in life and so uh...
if i were you hold your kids uh... six or in one of course uh... if i were if i look up in your shoes yes you're gonna need money uh... to be able to get out and and so i would start looking probably today when here's a horrible thing is is if he finds out what's he gonna say to see tell you to go get a job is he like you need to go make your own money or what he what is responsible for you having a job oh no no no no patient he says if you want to get a job go ahead uh...
i i didn't bother me the only thing is you have to pay for child care because you're the one that wants a job uh... whoa whoa whoa whoa so you have to get a job and pay for child care on your own because that was your decision this may as insane do you hear yourself does he for abuse you just verbally emotionally or is there more no uh... there's a mark was enough for that came from well so yeah you're gonna uh... i i would be finding a way to make money jennifer you set up your own checking account and you have a plan on what is this look like to get out of this relationship and depending on the state there's some type of common-law marriage you know depending on anything it's a by state but even if you decided to leave in some states i don't know colorado's laws that you actually it could be seen as a basically common-law marriage in title yes that you could actually go through proceedings and and get something right if you guys have a house together cars checking account retirement accounts all of it so i would look into that kind of thing if leaving which is what either this needs to be fixed on a radical level which you can't fix him uh...
either the relationship has to have a complete one eighty of full full repentance and uh... him pleading for your forgiveness because of what he's done to you horrible horrible you're going to make a better decision for yourself jennifer you know so yeah so yeah i would be opening up my own checking account if there's a way to work from home for a little bit and get an income in uh... increase instability and then whatever that next move is for you at least that gives you a pad to step out on uh... you're not just drowning with no money right having some resources is going to be helpful uh...
you have any friends family church that could help support you through this i do but it's something i don't wish to uh... i have to do not know that's not a burden if they love you they will be so happy that you asked for help in your time of need yet this would be the time to get as many resources as possible around you jennifer and you believe lies too long that you are burdened that no one else has to deal with this it is my burden to bear and it's all eyes that he's put in your mind yeah and you believe in for so long that you don't know another way you don't know another life but i think you deserve better don't you i totally do i totally think i deserve better and i think that's another reason why i haven't stepped out is because i will literally walk out with what i have on the back and that's where friends family community really step up right uh... so i would be yet leading up those conversations and i would i would start thinking of who you want to be jennifer i mean honestly when you look at just the world and that which you can contribute uh... from a career perspective is gonna be huge and kens book find the worker wire today we give you a copy of that uh...
just to just to get your mind just as we'll start to turn because if you have not been in the workforce for you know an extended period of time sometimes you forget about it what i enjoy when i got help that's a that's a really big answer to a really urgent problem though so here the urgency and as that this relationship is is pretty damaged and you don't need to be part of it if it continues down the road like this create your free every dollar budget today the simplest way of budget for your life