I Kept Hoping She Would Change: When the Person Who Should Protect You Doesn’t

I Kept Hoping She Would Change: When the Person Who Should Protect You Doesn’tShe told her mother she was being sexually abused. She thought that meant someone would finally protect her.Instead, she spent years hoping the person who was supposed to protect her would change.In this episode of Living in the Aftermath, Lee shares her experience of surviving childhood sexual abuse—and what happened when telling the truth didn't bring the safety, protection, or support she desperately needed.Lee talks openly about growing up as the oldest child, being parentified at a young age, trying to protect her younger siblings, asking repeatedly for mental health support, navigating suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and continuing to hope that one day her mother would become the person she needed her to be.We also explore something many survivors understand deeply: why we keep hoping.Why do we keep waiting for someone to finally choose us?Why do we convince ourselves that maybe if we explain it differently, try harder, need less, become easier to love, or give them one more chance, they'll finally show up?And what happens when we finally realize we cannot make another person change—no matter how desperately we need them to?Lee's story is also one of advocacy, finding validation, learning to extend herself the compassion she so easily gives other survivors, and discovering that healing doesn't mean forgetting what happened.Sometimes healing begins when we stop asking, “How do I make them change?” and start asking, “What do I need now?”CONTENT WARNINGThis episode contains discussions of childhood sexual abuse, sexual assault, suicidal ideation, self-harm, emotional abuse, neglect, medical trauma, and other potentially distressing experiences. Please listen with care and step away if you need to.IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW NEEDS SUPPORT🇺🇸 National Sexual Assault Hotline — RAINNAvailable 24/7 for survivors of sexual assault and abuse.Call: 800-656-HOPE (4673)Text: HOPE to 64673Online chat and additional resources: RAINN.orgRAINN provides confidential support, information, and connections to local resources for survivors and their loved ones.💜 The Refuge Utah — Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault Support24/7 Domestic Violence Helpline: 801-377-550024/7 Sexual Assault Helpline: 801-356-2511Spanish Sexual Assault Helpline: 801-924-0860Learn more: therefugeutah.org❤️ National Domestic Violence HotlineCall: 800-799-SAFE (7233)Text: START to 88788Online support: thehotline.orgTrained advocates can help with safety planning, identifying abuse, finding local resources, and exploring options.🩵 988 Suicide & Crisis LifelineIf you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, emotional distress, or a mental health crisis:Call or text 988If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 911 or your local emergency services.You do not have to wait until your situation feels “bad enough” to ask for help. You deserve to be heard, believed, supported, and safe.Living in the Aftermath shares survivor experiences to create education, awareness, connection, and conversations around trauma and healing. The experiences shared by guests are their own. This podcast is not a substitute for professional mental health, medical, or legal advice.