I Know Why I Get Angry and Defensive—So Why Can’t I Stop? episode artwork

EPISODE · Jul 23, 2025 · 27 MIN

I Know Why I Get Angry and Defensive—So Why Can’t I Stop?

from The Narcissism Decoder · host Dr. Anthony Mazzella

In this episode, we look at the painful moment so many of us know too well: when you understand why you get angry, defensive, or shut down—and yet, you still do it. We examine this problem through the lens of one man’s story about a frustrating moment that spirals into rage and self-loathing. But understanding this isn’t the most important thing. We tackle the real question: what actually helps when knowing yourself isn’t enough? If you’ve ever found yourself caught in a loop—knowing better, but still hurting yourself or someone else—this episode will meet you there.If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.  Want to go deeper? Join me in Office Hours — an open space where we explore psychoanalytic ideas together, answer your questions, and connect theory to real life experiences. Reserve your spot here  Next Meeting: Stay Tuned!  Contact me Directly with observations, questions or comments:  [email protected] You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on: https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/ https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder https://www.youtube.com/@thenarcissismdecoder  Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.comDr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

In this episode, we look at the painful moment so many of us know too well: when you understand why you get angry, defensive, or shut down—and yet, you still do it. We examine this problem through the lens of one man’s story about a frustrating moment that spirals into rage and self-loathing. But understanding this isn’t the most important thing. We tackle the real question: what actually helps when knowing yourself isn’t enough? If you’ve ever found yourself caught in a loop—knowing better, ...

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I Know Why I Get Angry and Defensive—So Why Can’t I Stop?

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This episode was published on July 23, 2025.

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In this episode, we look at the painful moment so many of us know too well: when you understand why you get angry, defensive, or shut down—and yet, you still do it. We examine this problem through the lens of one man’s story about a frustrating...

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