EPISODE · Jul 23, 2025 · 27 MIN
I Know Why I Get Angry and Defensive—So Why Can’t I Stop?
from The Narcissism Decoder · host Dr. Anthony Mazzella
In this episode, we look at the painful moment so many of us know too well: when you understand why you get angry, defensive, or shut down—and yet, you still do it. We examine this problem through the lens of one man’s story about a frustrating moment that spirals into rage and self-loathing. But understanding this isn’t the most important thing. We tackle the real question: what actually helps when knowing yourself isn’t enough? If you’ve ever found yourself caught in a loop—knowing better, but still hurting yourself or someone else—this episode will meet you there.If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Want to go deeper? Join me in Office Hours — an open space where we explore psychoanalytic ideas together, answer your questions, and connect theory to real life experiences. Reserve your spot here Next Meeting: Stay Tuned! Contact me Directly with observations, questions or comments: [email protected] You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on: https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/ https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder https://www.youtube.com/@thenarcissismdecoder Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.comDr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.
What this episode covers
In this episode, we look at the painful moment so many of us know too well: when you understand why you get angry, defensive, or shut down—and yet, you still do it. We examine this problem through the lens of one man’s story about a frustrating moment that spirals into rage and self-loathing. But understanding this isn’t the most important thing. We tackle the real question: what actually helps when knowing yourself isn’t enough? If you’ve ever found yourself caught in a loop—knowing better, ...
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I Know Why I Get Angry and Defensive—So Why Can’t I Stop?
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