I made this for you

We all know today is the first day of the rest of our lives — but!— it’s also the first day of FIELD PALACE. This project has been simmering since the start of Spring, even before that really. As an auditory processor, I often record myself talking through a concept or emotion. I walk through the park, the wind blending my whispered secrets into a syllabic froth. It doesn’t matter, those recordings are just a vehicle for the eternal to square with the limited, so all parties can move on. When I was a kid, I’d talk through stuff with my dad. He possessed a deep patience for my CHATS. I always felt like I needed him, but we needed each other. We were in a very siloed experience, caring for my sick mother who seemed destined to live out her days in bed. I believed only the two of us would ever understand our situation. An unexpected joy from my years writing this newsletter is the dissolution of this fallacy. When I started to share the most vulnerable parts of myself, you reached out with connections I could never imagine. I feel deeply grateful for that. You told me the past doesn’t have to be an isolating factor in my life. If you’ve ever bopped me and helped break that illusion, thank you. When I was 23, my dad was forced to reveal his own vulnerability. He was sick with cancer. He’d let it go undiagnosed for a few years, afraid of medical costs without health insurance. He made it through a grueling period of experimental treatments and is mostly back to normal—except he’s lost the use of his left hand. His whole arm is actually swollen with lymphedema, it just hangs limp at his side. We’re still trying to get answers all these years later. He’s a musician, primarily a guitarist. For years he’d push through the pain, wrapping his fingers around the chords, but a couple years ago it became intolerable. He adapted, moving his focus into ambient music, building worlds through one hand on a keyboard. This was exciting for me, because I love that s**t. I even have a radio show called Room Tones on franknews, strictly for music sans words. After listening to countless tracks from his hours at the keyboard, I had an idea. At first I wanted to brush it off because I wasn’t sure if there was a place for it, but the thing would not leave me alone. I’d just moved to London. Usually I’d call my dad in the afternoons to check in, but the time difference from LA to London made that impossible. Instead, I make my personal recordings, processing the experience. It’s now been SEVEN months of living in London. And after all this whirly time, here’s the thing I’ve made for you: Field Palace. Here’s what’s inside: Field Recordings - if you’ve listened to my meditations, you might find a similar joy in these dispatches. They’re ambient audio essays, with my dad’s compositions expanding the sonic realm. Field Notes - each month, you’ll receive a physical postcard with an abstract prompt, related to the recording. (If you read my Guide to Self chapbook, think of the egg pages.) I’ve wanted to do a postcard project for a while and I’m so excited about it. Field Dreams - you’ll get to digitally submit your responses to the prompts. I’ll organize and share them at the end of each month. Together, we’ll begin to trace our collective visions. And that’s Field Palace! It’s gonna be SO fun. I’ve given this project a lot of time to show itself to me. The ideas have taken on many different shapes over the years. When the pieces fit together like this I knew it was time to let it out of my imagination and share it with you :) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nowisgood.substack.com/subscribe