I Think I'm Bad

I THINK I'M BAD The cycle is a strange thing when you’ve been through your brain re-enacts what’s been done to you you think by going through something you would realize the pain & hopefully, you’ll never have to go through it again but what about that good girl or guy that comes to you & gives you all the things that you're not used to what happens to them you’ve been through hell so why is it so hard to appreciate the good “He’s been good to me but i’ve been bad to him” DAMAGED to say the least I’ve heard terminology such as “baggage” before but how do you train your brain not to think the things about the new person IS HE CHEATING, WHO IS HE TEXTING, WHERE IS HE GOING EX EX. My judge mental accusations are the least of my worries however lets talk about my recent endeavors I’ve come across something that I call temptation and I dug myself sooo deep in the situation that I don’t know how to get out the same things I used to cry about the same things I used to complain about the same shit I used to dream about I do to Mr. good, I cant explain it I cant help it its like a fatal attraction Mr. bad turns me on in ways I cant explain and its crazy cause Mr. good treats me like a Black queen he might not have all the things I want or meet all of my emotional expectations all the time but I can count on him to be faithful and to be my back bone but you…..you you Mr.Bad give me something that I’ve absolutely never had mr. good is my safe haven that I needed but …… Mr. bad is smooth sweet considerate ambitious tall brown skin and consistent as many times as I said NO the 2X he tried I can not help but be enticed by the fire dance every word that leaves his mouth through those lips just feels right I haven’t crossed that line physically but the words that he says to me the way he sings to me give me a feeling of guilty pleasure I want him to take me in every place imaginable I can see it happening your soft lips on my skin my natural hair pulled straight by your tight yet warm embrace the cool guy smiles you’ll flash between kisses and deep hard thrust I cant help but see this in my dreams as drift in to a lustful sleep for the past few nights I’ve tossed and Iv’e turned because its your extrovert I yearn I don’t know if its because I’m not supposed to have you or what but you hypnotize me your insight into my deepest desires worries me i want you to fuck my brain then I want you to fuck me too what ever you want I’ll do writing this makes me realize how much shit I’m in