I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DIE

What this episode covers

Hey... Welcome to THE TEENAGER'S DIARY where you hear the different feelings, thoughts, and emotions of the teenager. Well, this is your host, SHADOW SPARKLING. I'm a different teen of 14 and I hope to enlighten you by sharing everything I have. Well,... Today, we are going to talk about "I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DIE #PARAGLYDING". And like always, I would love if you keep an open-mindset while listening to this. THE FIRST IDEA. I knew this was coming. I knew it. I feared it a little. I knew it when Baba said that we were going to do “LOTS OF FUN, just four of us.” Generally, we would travel with all our close family. That means we four plus my maternal and paternal grandparents. But this time, it was just we four. Somethings happen for the first time. It’s okay. I was feeling that something crucial was coming. Something surely did. And I’m grateful that things didn’t go as bad as I thought they would, which meant me dying and you never reading any of my posts. LEAVING... Well, this morning, Baba had really bad loose motion. He said that it was like water except it was yellow. You get the idea. Then there was my cuteish but satanic baby sister vomiting more than 6 times yesterday after eating those wild strawberries. So, yeah only the two of us were unscathed this time. I was excited but wasn’t calm because this morning my meditation wasn’t as good as I needed it to be. That was my fault. And today, was also our last day staying in our homestay and those fucking clouds didn’t let us have a view. Another failed planned of seeing the highest peak in India. Our homestay was called the Anugrah Homestay, it was run by the sister (Susila Pakhrin) of our driver (Ajay Pakhrin, 79A 1340), but it was awesome and care was of top class. I would definitely miss Peso (the cute adorable white dog, always following its owner). Well, we left the homestay at 10:30. BAD HEALTH. Due to super bad health, (it got worse during the starting of the journey) Baba had to be left in another planned homestay, whose name I still don’t know. I know it’s irritating to not know where you are. Well, we left my old man and then, went straight towards paragliding station. A normal flight of 8-10 minutes was of Rs 3000 and long flight of 12-15 minutes costs Rs 5000, along with Rs 500 for Video (they provided the GoPro camera). Well, Ma was hesitant with all of that money. She always is. And it was just me who got strapped on. We went to the top walking. I handshake with my flyer. His name was Damien, he is muscular. The thing that happened was, the customers got attached to the flyer with straps (sitting) and the flyer would fly, taking you along with him. There were no female flyers. WHAT HAPPENED. Everything was done by them, even the strapping portions. After getting strapped perfectly, he (Damien, my flyer) said that I didn’t need to do anything and the only thing which would be done by me was straightening my legs when we land. Simple enough. And then he ran and jumped. The moment we left the ground and entered Zeus’ realm (Zeus is the God of Air), a certain different indescribable feeling ran through me. It was good one of course. I had the camera in my right taking the complete view. I screamed in the first minute, “Oh Bhai! Mei udd raha hu!!!” which translates to, “Man! I’m FLYING.” My flyer chuckled. I further said, “Bhaiya, udd ne mein alaag hi maza hai!”. And that translates to, “It’s SUCH A DIFFERENT FEELING FLYING.” It was a great sight. The absence of solid ground and the smooth air running and not static anywhere beneath is really a super awesome different feeling. And the view you behold in your eyes is nothing but mesmerizing, it’s unforgettable. But when things are going perfectly... life has its own shit to do. TEARS. My eyes watered at seeing the bright parts of the coin. Even my flyer asked me if I was crying. I was. But these were good tears and I didn’t want to shut them out. But things get tensed... I mean really tensed in the body of the customer. Every cell struggles to fight the group’s end, when the turbulence hit. It’s creepy and all of my hairs were up, when I faced my first. It was not a good feeling. Damien, my flyer was having fun in his own way. Laughing coldly, when his opponent was defeated. And there was a time when I looked up during another turbulence hit and our parachute was shrunk at one side for a particular time. I felt death passing close by my heart. It was super creepy. But that wasn’t the closest. MY ONLY REGRETS... When we were descending during the end of our timed flight, another turbulence (this was A ROUGH ONE) hit us, this time it was SCARY GHOULLISH. I thought I was gonna die. And when death’s knockings were clear to my ears (for a second), my only regrets floated on the surface. One was not posting my thoughts (my one means of existence) through my blogs and through Instagram. I later on, realized that I could die peacefully even if it wasn’t done. But that one thought which anchored me to this mortal world was HER. The last and only thought was that she didn’t yet know that I LOVE HER. And that was the thought that forced me to stay, though it was already decided that I won’t die that day. I’m still in my doubts. HER. Well, this was something that hit me and I thought if I should ever say it to HER, if I survive this fall. I have survived and I still in doubt whether she should know about my PURE LOVE for her. Whatever I have for this girl is not at all FAKE. It’s not her body that I crave. It’s her smile that I want to see on her face. It’s the wanting of her being in my arms, just once. I have written in full about my feelings for HER here. It’s the fact knowing that she is satisfied. It’s just HER for me. She probably doesn’t even like me. I think she wouldn’t ever think of ending up with me. She is a cheerful bird, struggling to get out of her now-visible cages. The only thing she lacks is just a little more experience and maturity, which will be brought by time itself (I’m sure). But she is someone that matters to me. She MATTERS TO ME in such a way, only few would truly understand. I’m still thinking if I should tell her. I don’t want to propose but at the same time, want her to know the truth. Her thoughts were my topics after that turbulence hit. I chanted, “Hare Krishna” when the turbulence was terrifying me. I was calm during the instants. I was SCARY CALM. My arms that hold the camera was down and the TRUTH is: I was MENTALLY PREPARED to face DEATH else SHE hadn’t prevented. VOMITING ??... Well, I was quiet the entire journey except when I opened my mouth to say the I was about to vomit. I first thought that this was just me. Feeling vomiting even in this situation. Later on, my flyer told me that this was normal to suffer from motion sickness. So, after warning him, I vomited but he failed to WARM ME AHEAD that I had to take my head on the side. Probably that was common sense. And Ma always says to me read books about common sense instead of everything that I read. And when I vomited, a part of it was thrown towards my flyer. My full T shirt right sleeve was in completely in my vomit. And later on, when I returned, I had to wash it off my own. When we (me and my flyer) landed, I straightened my legs when he (Damien, my flyer) said. Everything went WELL, except the fact that I didn’t feel good after vomiting out. No one does. THE ENDING... We (I’m not telling you again who “we” is) actually landed on an open ground. From where, we got up again in a car, from the paragliding station. Damien left mid way to change his clothes. I asked for forgiveness thrice and still think that I should have washed him clothes that instant after getting down. He said that it was okay every time. After that I extracted the video and then we went to complete that day’s sightseeing checklist. I came to know that Bon wasn’t let to do the flying with anyone, because she was too small (she is just 6 years old). And hence she cried when I soared the sky (in a way). Well, nothing could have been done for her, and hence Ma had to stay with her; Ma too didn’t do it (flying). LAST PARAGRAPH FOR NOW. All the things have been well. I’m glad that I’m alive and that I had this experience. You should try paragliding once, because this would strengthen your thing about VALUEOF TIME. Read about ACCEPTING MORTALITY here. I recently wrote it (a day before I wrote this one). Guess this was the best experience I had during this unwanted trip. Those tears, realization about her, and all of this feeling, almost touching death by an inch (it was more than that), all of this was super worth it. Our main plans have ended. I had a really peaceful sleep in the evening. This has been a great experience. Thanks for listening to me. That will be all . Thanks for being till the end. Sign up to my weekly newsletter , where I will remind you about the things you might have missed. It's FREE and will come on SUNDAYS . You just have to scroll down to the footer. I would be extremely grateful to you for doing that hard work of scrolling . Check out my INSTAGRAM & TWITTER accounts too. And also, you can get to know me at my FACEBOOK PAGE & PINTEREST. They too are at the bottom . Or you can simply click at the three lines at the top right. Goodbye, till we meet in the next entry . This is Shadow Sparkling signing off.

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