I thought saying yes once meant I could never say no again - Donya

I need a longer break than I anticipated, so in order to keep giving you new content, I'm releasing a handful of interviews in their uncut form. Donya started getting sexual attention very young because her body developed early. As a teenager and adult, she has experienced a wide range of relationship styles and partners. After having a child and settling into the closest thing to commitment outside of marriage, she received a breast cancer diagnosis. Donya is a 46-year-old cisgender female who describes herself as white, bisexual, monogamous, and in a committed relationship. Donya shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, finding a book of erotica at age 9 or 10 and feeling aroused in a new way—both physically and mentally, at the same time. Sex was not discussed in the home; her parents divorced and her mother remarried a closed-off man. She finds her mom's secret copy of "The Joy of Sex" at some point. Donya talks about being both busty and a dancer and receiving sexual attention from an early teen age. It's an early experience of power and pleasure—especially at youth group. Dry humping becomes a favorite activity. Sex itself is fairly disappointing early on; Donya learns to exercise the power dynamic between using the appeal she has to get attention and wanting to go slow to actually find pleasure. Donya finally experiences a lover who is devoted to her pleasure. As part of the Society for Creative Anachronism, she tries to navigate the community's culture of non-monogamy. Donya talks about the end of her primary poly relationship: yes, you can be poly and still cheat. Donya shares how she came out as bisexual and began to experiment, up to the point of marrying a "Santa Cruz lesbian" and seeing the inside of man-bashing culture. Donya catches us up on her current long-term monogamous male partner, with whom she has a child. They've been together 8 years and have a fully committed life; at first neither want to mess with marriage again, but it's now on the table. Childbearing (and specifically vaginal birth) impacts her sexuality. So does being a mother to a young child, and the parenting style choices they make. Donya experiences a series of illnesses, and is diagnosed with breast cancer. She and her partner go through periods of separation. They've gotten therapy and are currently together. She talks about the details of her breast cancer journey. She feels like her body let her down, and fears bad sex in forced menopause.   Update:  Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack   EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak