I Wasn't Allowed to Be Happy Growing Up (And I'm Still Unlearning That Rule)

You have to allow yourself to be happy. And that sounds simple, almost obvious, but it isn't, if you grew up in a home where happiness was not allowed. People are often surprised when I say this, but growing up, I wasn't allowed to be happy. In my house, happiness was treated like an affront. Laughter was an offense. Joy was seen as disrespect. Because things were hard for the adults and my happiness made them uncomfortable. It forced them to confront the fact that they weren't happy. So my joy was quickly stamped out. Every time. "How can you be happy?" "Don't you see the circumstances we're living in?" "Can't you see that I'm unhappy?"The message was clear: If I'm unhappy, you don't get to be happy either. So I learned very early that happiness was dangerous. That joy needed to be contained. That being light was wrong. And I carried that into adulthood. There were times later in my life when things were objectively good, stable, even excellent. And yet… I couldn't allow myself to be happy. I had to go all the way back to the root. And that's when I realized-I wasn't unhappy because something was wrong now. I was unhappy because I had been taught, very young, that happiness was not allowed. So I've had to unlearn that. Consciously. Deliberately. I've had to give myself permission to be happy without guilt, without justification, without apologizing for it.This one's for you if:1. You struggle to feel happy even when things are objectively good.2. Joy feels dangerous, like something that will be taken away.3. You were taught that your happiness made others uncomfortable.4. You're still carrying the rule that you don't get to be light when others are heavy.This is your permission slip.This podcast is for women who are done performing. If you want more of this energy, the kind of conversation that reminds you who you actually arevisit wwdaglobal.com and step into the room.You'll get weekly insights, frameworks I don't share anywhere else, and a community of women who've stopped asking for permission.About Women Who Don't Apologise:Over 100 episodes exploring power, boundaries, capacity, and what it means to live on your own terms. Hosted by Patricia Haywood lawyer, The Queen of Construction Contracts, Top 100 Woman in Construction, GC, and chief unapologetic mistress. For women 40+ who are exhausted from following everyone else's blueprint.