You're not having a nap here if you're gonna keep you're gonna touch all the doughnuts I wasn't thinking I just saw it because I wanted I wanted a one of them, but I didn't want to eat them all Is this filled with cream don't break it open to find out if you just stick your thumb in it don't are you gonna eat them? You're back on sugar. I just had one. I'm so sorry.
That's so good. I'm so out of breath I need a cigarette that'll fix that A little oh my god that was crazy welcome to the show in finance Good to be here. Hi everybody. No, we're good.
No, I'm okay. Oh, my goodness. Why that you have fingers. Thank you Wow Jason you start to understand why yeah, why do you feel like a fake club?
Yeah? We were talking about New ideas for YouTube YouTube show because I'm I'm Demilitarized for being me really oh fully and completely or you just get the yellow dollar something Or I think we're we're we start off red and then we work away to yellow and then you got green in a while Well, it's like it's a case by it's a case by Kase. I think the nightmare the big amount of ties to yeah I think the bigger issues is our hunch our informed hunch is just that the algorithm is not is like not leading people to us It's not so much about making money off the videos It's just that YouTube is like if people like let's like war if people come and look for it It's there, but we're not advertising it to people right is this kind of our dirty little secret. Maybe you need outfits like war There is a guy the weird John the Goblin.
Yes. Yeah, yeah that guy showed to see some you doing pretty well Yeah, there's somebody who's doing something original with the medium Well, I don't understand my gun the thing with with the YouTube demonetization is it it's Everywhere fresh tattoos are new and I'm cleaning them. I don't have to pull water on the studio. Sorry.
Sorry. Sorry. I didn't think it would come out that much I don't come to your house and take a shit on your head. Well, I take a shit I'm tattooed for your cat.
Yeah, I land that's adorable. Yeah, that's pretty cool Um, dude, it's it's so you don't know what's gonna demonetate You don't know what's gonna this or that you're not allowed to blink twice in 30 seconds or else little kick here It's so nuts man. You might as well just act as if and just go and it'll I don't know right, but you that I agree for the Jason I'll show this not coming back, but I'm thinking about making money and like what other ideas I could have because I believe that there is still success left Of course there is but I don't think it's here you're succeeding. It's moving.
It's pushing. It's aren't you making inroads? Yeah, a little bit you guys can't get sponsorships or advertising reporting advertisers. Really?
Yeah, the industry is hurting No, it's at a whole time low. Why? It's just waves, you know, I think I hear surfing and skateboarding is Never been lower when it comes to that actually because I think it's like um, you know when it comes to action spoiler to whatever The only money that the athletes make because this the other thing a lot of the athletes that are in the x games They don't make any money and some of them are better than we've ever been in the history of our sport Right and some of them have jobs on top of their skateboarding to pay their rent and the only sponsors that vert dudes get is an energy drink Right like the actual skateboard company because it's not their fault. It's oversaturated So they try to sell their pro model.
There's so many other people that have skateboards, right? Nobody that used to be you know in the 80s there was like 10 pros So the only skateboards that were for sale was 10 different boards and there was millions of a skateboarding Yeah, now it's you know, it's it's half a million pros and So you don't you don't sell a lot of skateboards. It's very look It's Jamie Thomas and people like that are struggling to make a business, you know, like I heard the barracks is going on Oh, it's like a Eric's it's like a legendary spot. It's like why would that go on a because I mean I feel like it's so cute I feel like it's not as bad as the early 90s smiles.
I'm in the closet whoa That went in when went out Was early 90s bad for skating it was worse real now for sure because there's still like some contests and stuff in the early 90s Like Tony had to get a job and stuff. No one could make money now. It's like there There's still some people but it's barely any yeah, but I think the difference is Tony back in the 90s was only famous in skateboarding if Tony was only famous in skateboarding now He would still have to go get a job Tony Tony is making money now. There's gotta be a new escape.
There's gotta be a new bam Y'all need a new bam. Yeah, what do you mean when you say that? I think I know but let me make sure I don't know like some like I feel like Jack A lot of people just skating people like another who sell the lifestyle outro like lightning rod to attract people to the sport See it seems to me as somebody has no idea what I'm talking about that There's plenty of interest in skateboarding and there's plenty of like clips that people like watching and shit They're just it's kind of like what happened in the music industry just so much of it is disseminated right across social media There's so many people that are all given it away for free like when skateboarding took a shit in the early 90s It was like the structure like competitions and money in it now There's like way more interest in it now than there was in the early night Yeah, there's just no way to get out of it because there's no way to monetize right there's so much stuff It's just out there for free and the handful of ways you can monetize the hate shops even around any more Yeah, there used to be millions of miles on to skate shop. No way.
It's a I was a skate shop. Oh cool. It's miles is closet Yeah, but oh that's so cute. That's the locals name for it, but also I'm sure just like every other kind of mom and pop Because that's what you ultimately are like you're such a huge chunk of what the money you used to get as the neighborhood Skate shop is just going to Amazon and Tim and we don't make real money through actual like skateboarders and stuff Unfortunately, I wish that was the case margins are so bad on hard goods.
It's not like we're really gonna make money on that either So you have a skate shop business, but realistically you're selling clothing to people in the neighborhood and that's where you're doing your So what do you think makes the most money from selling skateboards? I mean there's some companies like I'm sure like a Walmart board Set up still does all right and then you know, I'm sure like some of the skate companies do make money But it's just tricky as a pro when you're getting your money off your royalties and stuff. It's just people aren't I don't know. It seems like a lot of the skaters that are making money these days.
It's not from skate companies whatsoever Like skater owned companies. It's because you have a monster sponsorship or some other Nike deal or something like that from outside of skateboarding You know, there's not as many options to make money in skateboarding because there's only a few companies that are really cutting checks like that Maybe we need to start an energy drink. Whoa. Yeah, Wolf Mate Do another one miles is closet.
No like herbomata your bermata Yeah, Wolf Mate instead of wolf mate. It not you don't like that. I don't why I don't think it's gonna work Well, yeah, cuz you already said it's not well, I got you know, I could be wrong. What's the name of it then?
Exactly Mmm beard stroke the drink Gold tooth energy, oh that's not bad cuz think about rock star red bull in me monster gold tooth It's kind of doesn't make any sense. Yeah, cuz rocks out rocks out was a bad idea. It was too on the nose Yeah, cuz now it's like rock star is not cool, right? What's our video game monsters are cool.
Yeah, like a monster drink gold tooth energy drink is red They're cool cuz it's like it's a red bull. This is like the red and a bull both cool color red is cool the two It's just cool gold cool can't could be gold gold tooth energy drink Sharpen your teeth. It's gold tooth. Oh, I mean am I not thank you for pushing me to go for it Cuz you got to a tiger with gold teeth.
Oh Yeah, yeah, yeah, see I would encourage you to go to gold tooth gold tooth energy drink brings out your claws Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, probably better than that Yeah, and then have like what about women people like women with Tiger hits and yeah titties with tiger heads. Yeah, so some of them are butter faces, but you don't know it Oh, what about what about you date a girl that had a tiger's head? What what is that trick? What is that?
Have to be good as that answer? No, why would I hate someone that's part animal idiot? Whoa, it's just a head but does she have a tiger's head, but she's still like here's a story that doesn't have an ending Yeah, she's go Christine Christine has a tiger's head Miss Christine this one particular girl. That's her name who they'll go with the tiger's head But she did she a person that I know because he said she's like Christine names Christine Oh, it's just a girl with a normal girl's name.
Does it does she shed just the head that she has The she have tigers breath is her breath bad. Does she have good teeth? You would think she's a human does she would she like when she blows me like chomp my dick off that would be tough Yeah, we make out like just teeth everywhere I just would be different I would only want to date a tiger if they had tiger qualities like they were like playful and like big and like after Paul's around but a girl that I just had his hands. No, she's a freak Well, that's pretty mean like so like so the head has fur yeah, the body has skin does is there like a gradual change from one of the Other in the neck just like a mostly like someone's bojack horseman.
Yes ruining it. No, I'm just trying to figure it out because I could be into this ruining it Yes ruining it. Does that get picked up on the mic? Yes.
Oh, sorry. That's my tiger girlfriend See if she came home and that's a sand that big side Maybe's home and it's just a Serious. I don't know. It depends on how attractive of a tiger's head.
Wait, it's a tiger head. Okay. We're sitting ugly tiger Never look at that dancing drug talk about I don't think that's it. Well, how's it when I'm she look like Nala from the Lion King Then yes, there's an island to look up Nala.
Oh my god. I finally tried to watch the other day And I was like oh my god. Thank you Michael. Thank you Michael.
Right. So good. No go back to the right now The one the right yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, I mean she's like furry arms. Yeah, I don't like that She's got a costume on oh if that's what she look like.
Yes. Yes. Yes. They're you slowly ruining me to get into anime I don't like that.
No, I don't like that Serious question to tigers have lips. Oh, no. Yeah, that's a blip on the inside cats have lips That counts. That's fine.
They're thin lip creatures, but look at that like hell hell. Yeah, that still looks off putting You're just excited about the body. Yeah, but no wait. We're scared to have the stripes.
Yes. I like stretch marks I'm in wait, look at that like I swear did this is all it's I'm super into anime You're into like that is so hot. I don't know I can't get past the tigers face Really? Yeah, but they talk normal.
No, but dude, you're just looking at the tits I think a tiger has a pretty face pretty a face than a human dude. This is not cool What is not cool? This is what about that one with the tail? I don't know about a tail I think I might be out on a tail I like the tail because you'd have to lift it up to eat her ass Yeah, that's a hot tiger that it would be a stinky butt because the tail would hide stuff What yeah, there'd be dingleberries.
No Honestly, like our own ass clean. Yeah, I humans have way worse dingleberries than most animals. I've encountered what yeah, yes Dude, you're in sec. This cat does this cat have dingleberries right now?
No Human zoo, how do you see a human's dingle bear like what's Situations, I think that's more reflection you and the women you're pulling. I'm just saying like Hear me. I've never seen a human have a dingleberry. I've never had to wipe my dogs ass Yeah, because they ate it.
No, because I got a white hat dude. I've never watched see my dog lick his ass What what you've never seen your dog lick its ass your life either. I bought you know that right? I haven't seen I believe you the mind does it.
I guess I don't watch my enough dude They all see him do I have to fucking collect his shit three times last night to take him to the vet this morning? I know you're just regular hard work check out this an argument here that a dog does all dogs don't lick their butt Okay dogs like they're about fine, but I say okay great So then that means you're tied to your right after I take a shit You can see that there is fucking shit on the side of my ass That is dog dog dog don't walk around with shit on the side of the rest until they lick it I don't think we have a white bar ass more offensive in your whole life of me. No, you that is the gross It's right we wait because we have to yeah because we can't turn around and eat it Yeah, but also animals the way they're they share with their diet. They have little dollops that just Almost like you're fucking making the same point that I'm making right?
But she did but they don't have but she they have our butt cheeks make it if you spread your ass and shit Then you're not gonna get dingle. That's a hot cat woman. He's got poo on his butt. Oh He's going to later That's why he has that's why dogs and cats have Sparky tongue wait, but you've seen someone's dingle Mary's like you don't get to yeah good question miles What was I mean?
I didn't know why this show gets demonetized And then I was gonna she went to 69 I was like yeah, and I don't know what happened, but she had a And I could never look A honker shit base like a big dollop Did you shit? Unless you don't watch your butt when you shower that's the only possibility I'm in like an insane world right now. Maybe the person who comes out of the shower and still has a tickler hanging off their ass Maybe that person is not it's more plausible to believe that they showered and then shit on their way to the bed on the way to the bed I also don't think if I forgot to wash my ass there would be a dollop of shit Yeah, I would think to not go let's go down each other right after I shit what yeah, I think she tried to make you eat her shit I never looked at the dollar people. Did you say I?
Mean I couldn't believe it. I was like hey, I just what it's okay, but there's a big honking She I said I forget what I said I think I tried to be very gentle about it Hey, you know like and it's okay, but there's there's I think you have to go back to the bathroom She's like what what I was like this She was like mortified so she didn't know no that's so it's so hard for me to understand that I can you feel bad Haven't you know her that of course I felt horrible. What do you think I took joy in it? He knows bad retelling the story.
Yeah, I feel terrible. It's a fact. What happened. It's a horrific story.
It happens Yeah, I mean who am I to judge at the Denver airport? I should so hard to splash on my back and I'd wash my clothes in the sink No, that's it's I don't know yesterday. How do you know what you made it splash back? I guess it was the distance between the toilet my bundle wasn't that long and hit the ball and then I had such explosive diarrhea that it came out Was like what?
No, why not water poo it was a mixture Jason Let's get back to that turd cuz we're fully demonetized. Let's move away from the turn We've talked about the turd enough enough. I know if you ever shit how would you not feel it in your butthole? I don't know man.
I don't know. It's tough being a woman. You got a lot of things going really big. No What miles you think that's like a big woman problem if you're so big like bubba the love sponge big You don't know what's going on down there.
Yeah, you become divorced from the extremities of your own body. Oh, what's she? A player pleaching she wasn't a wheelchair what no We'll cherish You're gonna dip them down first You're gonna food here. Yeah, really?
I'm so hungry go grab go grab I shouldn't eat all else. I just want to yell Yeah, okay, we don't know see if I work you want me to try no I mean to go grab them. No, I'm just saying we need donuts Flexing my mail I'm stepping in yeah, I'm doing my Dominating you know it's like I am the protector and the dominator and I'm lying so I'm showing off This is not real. What do you say like she could yell at me and I'd like I'm sorry, you know, but here right now I'm like bring me the donuts woman, but it's not really what's happening.
I understand. Yeah, which is why I'm doing it because if I was really that Yeah, I wouldn't admit it on the show right yeah, this wouldn't fly Right she wouldn't accept it you wouldn't accept it from yourself right right. Thank you Michael. Yeah, I understand thank you for explaining Thank you Michael.
Why do you have a Problem I'm saying Michael. No, it just sounds funny. I do thank you. Michael those army shoes.
These are vans Yeah, but they know doesn't look like I just got back from Afghanistan. Those are Gore-Tex I got a friend that's in the that was proper in the military you to raise those I know I'm the only person have stolen baller shoes. They have stolen baller shoes Mm-hmm, but the advance you're not saying that you're no you're in the no because you they make it look like a helicopter pilot really You could be a knob like it's cool. We were a movie in NAM.
I could be Yeah, I don't see you so much in the modern military. I do see you in NAM. Yeah, you look like a guy who like got drafted And you'll especially my jacket look oh for sure yeah, yeah Yeah, you look like a guy who like tried to fuck up your you're hearing with the the draft people But like you know, but you fucked up and accidentally were healthy and they sent you I'm going to ball and ham and ham and now I'm blue. Yeah, yeah, right just like smoking now You know, I wasn't a bad lie man.
I wasn't there. I wasn't there. We was shit. Yeah, I wasn't there I look like taxi driver Like a taxi.
Thank you. You're talking to me. No, well you're talking to someone he's telling He had it on the only down here. You might as well be talking You've got a little bit more of a time to make the donut.
Are you also talking to me? Speaking to me I have a little heart of hearing somebody say something. What have you been doing? Why I mean 69ing paraplegics will do that no I injured my back moving my luggage.
I like felt my back pull Was there a body in your luggage no, there was just stuff how much stuff you've been waiting there? Bro, I don't know man. I keep getting injured. It just sucks.
You gotta work on your core strength Yeah, I'm just saying stuff. I don't think it matters anymore. I think it's all a lie I think we should all fight fart. Yep.
Yep. We should hold what we should fight everybody all at once and then Well, I'm going to be a good boat in the body of water What it's not a trick question hot shot a boat in a body of water. There you go What sort of fucking riddle are you giving me Jason? I'll show welcome to the show you need to put a boat in a body of What do you know how to put a boat in the boat?
You push it so you don't know you back it up into the water Gentlemen you back it you hitch it to the truck and you bring the truck down and you slowly bring it to the water And then you unhook it and then you get in unhook it from the truck Yes from the trailer hitch because there's a trailer. It's attached to a trit's attached to a hitch with what what trailer? It's attached to the boat is on top of a fucking like framed trailer with wheels And then you push that into the water a boat trailer, right? Okay, am I right or wrong?
Yeah, you're right But nobody knows how to put a boat on a boat on a boat anymore. You said you please everybody This is out of the soft everybody. I just realized that a lot of people don't know how to put boats in water It's common sense. Yeah, I don't make a fire.
Yeah, I can change a tire Yeah, I can change a tire and I'm not a liar I don't believe you and I'm a gun for hire without a lighter without a lighter you can make a fire It could take a while and I might have how would you do it? I would Get some some sticks, you know, I'd cross them, you know get some kingling Stone in a flint and I strike it yeah real quick with a stone to get the spark What is a flint stone look like yeah, but I don't know So you can't make a fire not by hand, but I could try if you gave me all the ingredients I could do it you mean a lighter and gasoline new if you gave me Ingredients on how to make a fire by hand. I could do it You think like we give you all okay if you give me a stick and a string and you make the thing and you move it around You do the hokey pokey and you shake it all about I could do it. No you can can you yeah?
No, you can't I can't start one right now then bear grills. I don't have any of this Ingredients I'm saying if I'm in the bush I can make a fire without a lighter how then take us through it How would you start a fire then in the bush I would rub sticks Yeah, but if you rub sticks together you can't just rub two sticks and fire comes you're up So you don't know how how do you ever yeah? No, you haven't the way you paused in scallops show up the way you You know what my you were roll a decks like a lie Roll a deck thing a lot you're in scouts here. That's so cute You know you I my mom took me and when we went in everybody there to dad and I was the only one I made us leave why so maybe realize I don't have a dad and it sucked But you dad doesn't go to scouts all to dad It was the first meeting to sign up for scouts I was all kids with dads and she was the only mom there and I was like I want to leave I didn't know that's your week piece of shit because I didn't my dad didn't take me to scouts who took you to scouts I Got dropped off out the front by who my stepmom was she just like all right here's here you go get molested That was where I took a break I got my thumb dislocated its scouts like horrifically.
There was this game why you're trying to push a man off I really wanted him off you trying to put your son a man's eye while he was deep through in your eye As long as it was the eye, it's okay. Yeah, but it was like a it was like a it's like an American game I think you play works that we had a medicine ball and it's in the middle of the room and two teams run from the other side and there was two mattresses on either end and you grab they had to grab the medicine ball and Sit on it on the mattress and I was fast to get the ball So I ran to the ball and the other seems like some game in alcoholic put together with things that are left I'm pretty sure the scaly was an alcohol. That's why I was they kick the medicine ball at me and it hit my thumb and It was like when I was young and it was kind of It was gory because my thumb is pointed the other way there wasn't so much the pain It was more the sight of it pointing the other way and then a bunch of people tried to Mate it's dislocated like let me read read and people yanking on it I was not happy about it and then I went to hospital and then they gave me drugs and then they pulled it back in This girl smashed my head into a chalkboard legend the last day of school in third grade and I screamed No, no, it's fine. It's fine to try to push the bump back into my head How that works yeah, but kids are great.
What do you say? Yeah? Yeah, push the bump back in I never forget I still see it right now her with her tooth on going. It's fine.
It's fine. It's fine You're okay won't hurt. Wow, so she wouldn't get in trouble. Did she get in trouble?
Good good. Oh, dude. I look like a freaking alien. We had swelled up.
So you got beaten up by a woman. Mm-hmm. That's mainly It's mainly should feel better. I had the same experience at scouts of being like the one there that didn't have a dad But I do have a dad He's just like so not a dad in that regard like we showed up for the pine box derby where you got it like everybody like unbeknownst to us I'd spent the last I thought it was a pine-sol derby everybody just like shaved their thing down I made it like a little trans am and whose mind's gonna look the coolest and go the fastest and we just showed up with our piece of Wood oh no Like you're supposed to like make something so we ran home and wrapped it in aluminum foil and just came back What do you mean you had a piece of wood?
Oh wow? So the pine box the pine okay It's it's a piece of wood. It's like a little little two by four It's not whatever it is like six inches by three whatever now it is and then there's plastic wheels and they have little groups Where you put the wheels in and it comes with nails and so you put the nails through the wheels and you stick the and you stick them on Aside Everybody else actually attached them mind. We just stuck in so mine didn't make it down the track it fell off The donuts have a right What?
What? Happy holidays who brought these what are these I did what's that that you're eating Apple and what's this maple what's that? And what's this I don't know hey everybody this podcast is sponsored by price picks price picks is this sweet app where you can Like see some sports that you like hopefully I mean you can see some suppose you know like You know what's great about price picks is they're the only real money daily fantasy platform with an injury insurance policy Look you may know everything about the game. There's no way I know when somebody's gonna tear a hammy Oh, mate, that's the worst or hyper extend their nose it could happen and if it happens never hyper extended my nose But that sounds it could happen to you and you know what I hope it never does Thank you price picks is the only real money daily fantasy platform with this injury insurance policy So that your lineup stay in play even if one of your players gets injured if your player leaves in the first half and doesn't return Price picks keeps your lineup live sign up today and get $50 instantly $50 when you when you pay five bucks You don't even need to win to receive the $50 bonus.
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That's try miracle dot com slash Ellis to get yourself No to treat yourself. Well again. That's try miracle dot com slash Ellis to treat yourself Thank you miracle made for sponsoring this episode man. Just imagine what you're gonna do at the Denver airport on the way back I can't take a nap after this no one Because I think I might just go straight to the store like everything here is so far away There's traffic to me over an hour to get here.
Yeah, I'm going right my eyes for a minute. I'm gonna live with me Yeah, I should live with you and we should put cameras everywhere and it should be called gold tooth and beaver teeth Good idea golden beaver. That's a good idea the golden beaver show. Yeah, I don't know what you're gonna get demonetized Why because we're on it.
Yeah, I don't know if you've listened to this show to this point who gives us yet What makes on the verus if you build it they will come So fast so bad how did that work out for Kevin customer? Did you like lose the farm? No, they came they came you're right He's dead came oh my god, you're right and then he got to like turn the ball Right I don't know I guess you're right up move on. Oh right.
You can't handle this because you don't have a father Shut up you bitch. I was Star Wars for you Thank you Yeah, we all had to make that choice So serious are you joking I'm not gonna attack you I'm just curious you've never seen any of the star I'm a guy we've had this conversation a million times where I'm like I've never seen top gun and he's like how did you miss? I'm like I never made a conscious decision. I don't have an agenda I the best I can tell you is two things I don't have cable when I was a kid a lot of people cost a fun cable And then I let everybody's excited about stuff.
I kind of naturally what why are you fondling every donut in there? I'm breaking them up. Well, that's not a thing going through your hosts donuts and ripping them all in half is not a defensible act You're not having a nap here if you're gonna keep you're gonna touch all the doughnuts I wasn't thinking I just thought because I wanted I wanted to pick one of them But I didn't want to eat them all tasting all of them is also not a defensible I thought this is gonna be filled with green and they're all just right is this filled with cream don't break it open to find out I if you just stick your thumb in it don't are you gonna eat them? You're back on sugar I just had one That's the only one I'm gonna have now.
You know that's gonna be an Eclair So it's not like you wiped a bunch of diarrhea off his back earlier, so I don't know it's like two days ago Yesterday miles you don't get you Sorry, seriously at some point or another like Star Wars. I never saw a storm work. What do you want? We're about to create an amazing show called golden beaver and you're like you've never seen the Jedi strike Fat bar with the women so you have seen it.
I've seen clips. That's enough really yeah Yeah, you got the idea if you see the soundtrack no, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, I don't like Star Trek why just gay I don't like Spock and I don't like Captain Kirk and I like Scotty Wait, I like the guy that says be me up Scotty wait. That's Captain Kirk.
I like Scotty Yeah, I like Captain Kirk. I don't like new Captain Kirk or old Captain Kirk. I kind of like new Captain Kirk. He's a chapter Kirk He's a Shatner.
Yeah, but then you win. I'm just fine. I hate that guy. Oh, he's four hits too big I like him.
Don't you think I'm hot. That's no one should say that it was though Dungeon Dragon's was kind of hot. Yeah, the new one what they made a movie called Dungeon Dragon's Yeah, and it was actually like good. Oh, I went to go see it with my kids Just so I wouldn't have to talk to them for like two hours But it's like legitimately good.
I rewatched it again good sex scenes. No sex and Dungeons and Dragons I recall I was a kind of hot man. I just mean hot like good. Oh, yeah What who says things are hot like good?
That's fair. No So babe, do you like Paris Hilton? Mm-hmm. Did you see that she has new pots and pans?
No, but her song stars are blind as a Sky song. What do you mean it's a sky song? It's a cover. No, it's just got a scubby.
Mm-hmm. Are you feeling? No, you're happy I am all right. That's it after that.
All right You have managed to touch almost every other donut. I don't touch that. Oh that or that my hands are clean I wash them before I came in here. All right, but subtaching my donuts.
All right, assuming the inside the boxing gloves are there is Well, I need to you need to chill with the sugar Every now and then I like to have a bit of a sugar patty. Mm-hmm. Is I still am on an animal based eye unlike you? Mm-hmm.
You gave up, right? Well, I got hit by the car. I really want to shit. Yeah, what happened?
Crazy car accident. Mm-hmm. They got tipped. They got rolled three times.
Oh my goodness. Hey, I'm Florida ready to get yanked out I'm there. Yeah, I get me out. I blacked out safety.
I got yanked out and when I oh Well, I don't want to make crumbs. I didn't fart on the doughnuts. Oh, call doorknob. I said safety.
I said safety. Oh, I forgot you hate farts. Oh Wait, that's always been a thing with you Who's dear for the guy? Oh hell you do it again?
No, but you know what I hang out alone so much I'm like I'm really happy This your co-host like when you fought no, but it's fun to make her squirm. Yeah, and her dog farts all the time Yeah, dog farts are less offensive to me. You know dog fart used to be an interracial porn site. I used to go to Interracial oh, I put on side dog for you.
I'm not early internet classic. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not familiar There's a thing you are familiar with it. I was not a visitor, but I know it was a thing Yeah, for sure.
How'd you find out? I don't know just a name that you remember if you hear it. I'm fair enough People are talking about dog fart and like college dorms and shit is catchy. Mm-hmm.
Yeah, you scared to drive a car now You were in a horrific car accident. It's all it's I'm not scared, but I am like very like Not nervous, but I want I'm a passenger in a car I get really kind of scared in intersections. Oh, wow like I'll like audibly like go like a stop Like I get really like what about if you're in a car with somebody speeding? I don't like it anymore What's wrong?
No, I think it's your fart. Yeah, it's still there. Yes, it's still there really Yeah, man. That's kind of cool.
It's a small achievement. It's good. You leave lasting. Oh god.
It just got over here He's he is disgusting. It's cool, right? What are the hints of the fun? Not hot.
I don't do that I don't do some ali-a I don't I won't describe it's you know what it smells like pine shit. Yeah, it smells like Did you notice that when you went last night? My fart smells like swingers. Did you know when you went to swing his last night?
Did you notice it? It's not like shit? Maybe you were farting. Hey, we fighting the whole time only when we really didn't smell it.
Oh We're in the back This is revolting you know, I'm not gonna lie what living in your own skin up living in your fart. Yeah, we're living in your skin It's an alpha move. Oh, yeah, there's alpha shit out of you guys So pipe up against another one in the chamber Pipe up and next one not gonna be you know, I pop next one. I can't be when did I pipe up I'm sorry was I inappropriate to you no no no when you started giving attitude about the fart Let me redirect if you pipe up again.
I got another in the chamber So if you talk about this fart anymore, he will shoot out the other one and the other one ain't gonna be as nice And the other one the other ones has a bit of a lisp Talls I was Great last night less I was so fun comedy stop. I'll eat him from yeah Yeah, that was that was one of the better experiences of my life get out of here Like I'm always nervous or I Expect more from me and I'm the last time I was ever in the main room there I well I didn't do very well and it had been it's been a couple years since I've been in the main room there really Yeah, and in the last time I went up. Yeah looking back. I'm like you didn't really have I had more of a story in less jokes And it was more like a what what you have for the drink.
I was trying to you know I was trying to be a comedian, but I didn't have enough of a sharp experience No chops and then the guy that came up after me was like wow that was that was crazy is Very courageous of him to talk about that if he keeps going he'll end up being funny Who was that just some guy no, what's his name? I don't know he's like I don't I don't really that's so fucked up to do that I kind of felt like it was he was right. Oh, yeah And it's funny at the time I was like oh that was a fucker everything to say But then looking back and remembering what my because it was I think I just had like you know this one time I Fuck China the wrestler and it was like that's it that's kind of what I did and it was there didn't really have any Jokes in it, you know and I think I was nervous and very new Mm-hmm and I remember thinking about it last night before I went and did a show last night where I was like man You've come a long way because what your plan was was just to say you know Like I almost felt like very ballsy of you to go up which I drink did There's very balls of you to go out there without much of a plan knowing what I know now Mm-hmm like now if I was like I'm going up at the Hollywood improv tonight knowing what I did know I'd be like don't go You know and I but I did and I went for it and then I went for the next night and so on and so forth until I actually Turn things around but it's where it is. I didn't I didn't look it back I was like I felt like that guy was I think I do recall up before I went up he asked me about podcasting and he goes How do you get my money from podcasting?
I was like you know go do a certain amount of numbers and he goes what's what's a certain amount of numbers? And I was like basically like if you're if you're not doing a hundred thousand you're not really making that much money And he was like oh, okay, and I think maybe he thought that I kind of big-timed it by saying that but that was when I just sort of Podcasting I was just an honest answer and I was told that I wasn't making any money until I got a hundred thousand subs of Episode and I didn't realize that that was quite a large number to and wrong. Yeah, but you know I didn't know yeah, but guess what and I think he felt like maybe I was you know cuz he was like a hundred thousand like he probably You only did like three or five thousand well that's in the past and you it's cool to see the progress you make and especially Compare to yourself and where you were and that was fucking you'd agree. Yeah, I was just really happy to crowd was great Yeah, they really fun too.
Yeah, and everybody on On your list was fucking awesome. I like everybody. I love Chappelle. I love to call and you're a monster I said that to you several times last night, but I was really aware of that but seriously it's always it's funny The better I get the more I can appreciate how good you are you know It's sort of like you know I've always said this with Danny way started to the mega ramp and he had a video premiere and you know people were pretty pumped on His video part but I got up I was drunk but I also was like none of you get what he did you know like you all think it's pretty cool He did a 20 foot back today on a 30 foot quarter pipe fuck all you guys for not all like carrying him out of this place For being the greatest keyboard that ever live because none of you would ever comprehend what it takes to do that But the only reason I knew that is because I hit that quarter pipe and I realized that to do what he did was insane It was an insane thing, you know, I did like a 14 foot air on it and I was like I'm a mad man And he was like I'm gonna wait bigger and I was like you're fucking crazy.
Yeah, that's insane to go 20 feet high But you would know if you didn't go right now, so that's kind of the thing where now I do put in a little work I do open mics and I do all the shit and then when I see you I'm like fucking oh man It's crazy to get there. It's really impressive Yeah, all those people really cool when I was at swing is where you didn't go and left me there by myself The fires only meet and greet with other people are waiting to meet me after the show It's like the most second Was me If you watch it, thank you for coming out to the highway, it was very fun. It was fucking awesome. Oh Sold it out Sunday night.
Yeah, fucking great. I stopped me on the parking lot was like are we gonna meet Jason? Oh, it has this one So some people asked me to take a photo of him at the front and then I'm walking off and then another guy I don't wear my girlfriend and some other guy goes Jason and I turn around and he's He doesn't look healthy He looks pretty dark and kind of mysterious and and maybe on drugs and and even Catherine said it after we walked off But she was like I wasn't sure if he was gonna pull the gun out Oh, it didn't look positive You know me say it's Jason and I turn around I'm like yeah And he's like and he looks behind him and then looks and I'm like what the fuck and he's like I just make sure my sister didn't see me but I Just I just got I just hooked up with the trains go last night. Whoa say like I appreciate it I was but it was just the way you know from the I don't know That's a part of the sense that I did but it wasn't a little bit and it was like the and look back to see it was like It was like the look you do when you're gonna rub somebody see if there's cops Right.
I was like and we'd already left the the improv like we're further away I was like this is is this is oh yeah, cuz I jumped her if you look behind and then look at me I'm like what are you about to do? Yeah, I'm sure yeah, but instead it was like being grateful for what I talked about and I was like Oh, no worries, dude. Oh, sorry You're gonna punch me get on you Oh shit, so where you going now size bed tonight, I'm the secret headliner at the comedy store who and then It's a bunch of podcast on in town fucking with the store Wednesday and Thursday And then I am in Baltimore for the weekend I'm off for a week and then on the road every weekend so April may and me and Jordan are doing the live podcast December 30th Well, I've been comedy connection Rhode Island. It's sold out though, but December 31st New Year's Eve my 40th birthday Yeah, two stand-up shows with me and a special guest which is the same person that I do the podcast with but they have a Contract where they can't advertise gigs right stand-up gigs if you have another show have nine years of like that area, you know So we have to be like special guests that you know who it is Yeah, but we're yeah, we're doing that two shows December 31st bringing in the new year together with everyone there It's gonna be really fun.
I'm excited when you have a week off. What do you do when you have a week off? I think you said when you have a wank off. I don't know about it.
I tried to last night and I couldn't I fell asleep I had all the power set up and then I got back and I just Fell asleep. Let's get back to what you would do when I go off. Oh my god. I Don't even know Why am I cats and I enjoy spending time with them?
Yeah, I Will probably I'll go home and see my mom for a day or two. Where's your mom Delaware? So how far so you got a fly hours? Okay, I'll fly train train train.
Mm-hmm. I'm track. Yeah, you know So I'll go home see her I have him at my like one of my best friends daughter Yeah, so I'll go to Jersey and see him and you know kind of make the rounds to see my friends I've been seeing some holidays and then um, you know back to New York doing sets Do you are you looking forward to having a wake off or did you get itchy because of it? You know, I actually start playing video games again And that's been a good way of like using my mind.
Are you a video game guy? Not like I'm not good at them, but it's just something to like concentrate on like shut my mind off Yeah, I'm about to start. Yeah, a fan bought me a console. Whoa really a console I don't know.
Oh, she wants me to play Call of Duty. Is it a ps5? I don't know. That's so sick.
It's a ps5 It's fun, man. We should link up and play. Yeah, we should stream together. That's what she wants me to do I'm gonna do live dude gold tooth in the beaver mouth that might be a better one screaming It's a PlayStation 5.
Yeah, whoa Slim is that's cool Is that good it's good Oh, that's sick man, dude. We should street. We should switch string together. Yeah, we'll play video games.
Wait I can make money off that yeah, we should make money off that um streamers are like making more money than anybody right now But I know that mouse. I mean that one kid Kai's to not I think he has me see I like is a pussy Who he is probably right through these streamers become like brain dead. Yeah, they're just like because I don't know He has a 60 million dollar twitch. Oh, I kicked deal Wait, sorry, it's gonna sound really old.
What's kick kick is like a platform you stream on. Okay, should I play on kick? Yeah, whatever you can do whatever what's the difference and also what do these people do that they're streaming all the time? He just I think his things he'll have like rappers and basketball players and stuff like come pull up and they'll like fucker No, he just did like when you say pull up.
They play the game with him on like he does like a bunch of Look at a day there in his studio where we're talking about like Ian and I are gonna play Yeah, he started off doing it the way you guys did it and now he has like a stream production Like I think he just streamed for like 30 days straight or something wait 30 days straight is in no sleep Like it would film him sleep and people would come like fuck with him while you're sleeping and what do you mean? Fuck with him. Yes. See these streamers turn into brain dead.
He gets where they're like I just have to keep doing stuff So people are part is very true It burns you into a soulless mother fuck call it um clip farming I think when you're just like doing random shit throughout the day That's like clearly to get a clip out of it and they just like yeah, but they make a bunch of money But yeah, they are does seem pretty brain dead. So the video camera is on 24 hours a day Yeah, I don't want to do that. He would like shower in his board shorts. There was like a camera in the shower and shit I don't I don't want to do that.
Yeah, well, you're not doing that Yeah, so one of the guys that ends up with like the bar across is the indentation across the top of his head from taking the head He's got a thing. Oh, yeah, that would make sense. Yeah, that would make sense I mean did if you have that on for 24 hours, that's gonna leave it my especially if you started doing it before he were fully grown Oh, wow. Yeah, your skull would like grow around it How long is it?
Except is it okay for Ian and I to play Call of Duty before? Long you want? Well, I'm saying if somebody's we're doing a live stream how longs to go for? Uh, it can go I mean it can go as long as you want like how long should it be?
I'm good at getting angry because that's the whole reason you would not good at video games But people when I did twitch people would watch because I would react because I hate the fact that I'm not good at video games I'm not good at it. The reason I told you to stream is because you will get mad and start talking shit to people who me no Jason Oh, yeah, wait, I'm talking about the people. Yeah, you talked to other people. There's like there's like a five on Call of Duty I believe there's like a five second window After you kill someone where you can hear their reaction in their headset So you'll kill someone and then you'll hear them be like god damn it or whatever and then like you can talk shit to them Can you cost on it?
Yeah, yeah, you can do everything on it. Can you threaten people? Yeah, yeah, that's like 90% of what it is Oh, that sounds cool. That's what I was saying.
Dude. You get to just threaten people. I like threatening people That sounds fun. Do you threaten people?
Yes, of course I threaten people cool. I lose my mind. Just don't get swatted What does swatted mean? Yeah What does that mean?
It means uh, you would have to be a lot bigger But like people with a lot of following that on like streamers They've ran into this thing where people figure out their address And then they call the cops and say like hey, there's a hostage in this house or something and then the SWAT break in your house while you're streaming It seems like if you did that call you you're risking more than I am. Yeah, except you can get shot What would your streamer name be these names are like cammy ninja? X QC what would yours be? NAR Would you just be in front of you right now?
I don't know what it is about people that think Australian sound funny, but that's annoying to me They do we do. That's your that's your license. Well, did you know that I just played is not me No, right. It's not my No, you know why you guys have that accent.
It's from alcoholism. I believe that yeah It's a it's a mixture of it's Germanic British That's why it's so much more of an accomplishment for me to be sober than it is for an American Yeah, because I'm I'm born an alcoholic time made with false. I am not fast as but yes alcohol I'm not a pussy. I didn't drink faucets.
My parents didn't drink. Oh, is that bad for Australians? Yeah, it's cook shit What's our version of that white claw? Yeah?
Yeah, nice. No, uh, yeah, really made Wow, dude. We should definitely stream together Wow, we should definitely stream to you think why keep hitting me today because you're looking at your phone It's a fan that's asking me a question. I was gonna read it on the air Hit him again.
We're live. I'm sorry It's a lot of information. Yeah, I mean I think we should just play Call of Duty and then go from there. Yeah, yeah, you can I have a team of?
Assassins like is it possible to have a team where a lot of my team is actually good? Yeah, you just find someone that's good at video game and play with you and I will be on a team with people that are actually good and they can Guide us. Yeah. Yeah, and then we'll kill like some people but mainly just hanging out behind the yeah, yeah, right Now here's the thing though.
We have to is it a key like you have to twitch at the same time every day or something? Doesn't there have to be some like weird consistency with it? I have no idea I'm like we should set aside a time to twitch like if I'm is it twitch or are we doing it on kick like I don't do sets Oh, we can kick twitch we can twitch kick kick push of the song twitch. Hey, we could even do it on patreon What the fuck is kick?
I don't think we should do it on patreon. We don't want to put all your eggs in one basket Yeah, and if you don't want to start to pay well if you twitch thank you mama people can sub to us separate but If you have a twitch account I have a twitch account if we made a patreon we'd have to split that but if you have a twitch Account I have a twitch account people can gift us and gift you and we can get our own subscribers So we're not like a gift you know, yeah, they gift you money through now. What's better kick or twitch? Why do they give you money?
Because they're nice people what's better kick or twitch? It sounds like kick is the choice of a new generation right because that this guy guy bounced over to kick Into the money from the xqc is streamer signed a hundred million deal with kick So is kick where you go because somebody's paying you to go there and twitch is better or yeah, they signed deals I think I don't exactly know but there's something about like censorship. I think well Which one has less which one's better for us rumble has the least but it's no one fox with rumble so wait what everyone fucks with rumble Rumble right kick. Yeah seems good.
No, no push Can we what's the place where I can threaten the most people? I think you can threaten people anywhere dude. We should on Tuesday nights I'm off because we record the pocket we should if we twitch at like 10 p.m. On a Tuesday night that's 7 p.m.
Your time Yeah, no Hell, are we playing for like two hours an hour two hours Right or we could do like Wednesday at 3 p.m. For me in noon for you that might be better Because Tuesday's when I usually go to beat people up. Oh My son beats people up. I want to be there for it Oh, it's nice He dropped a guy the other day really and then the guy went to hospital at five in the morning because he got a lesser rated kidney What from your kid sparring it I sparred against him.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he took it easy Oh god, I felt like he was taking it hard Man, he got way better against incident. That's awesome.
Yeah, that's great. That's great. That's so cool Oh, that's so cool. Maybe they've been doing a kickflip.
Oh, he must be so happy Yeah, because I wanted to get he wanted to go skate at p-rod skate park Well, no, he was excited that I was there and I was like you should come and he was like I'm washed And I was like have you seen your dad skate at that skate park? Like if I can go there because I believe that out of anybody that's been to p-rod skate park I am the furthest away from anyone that should be there that's ever been there Because I'm 53. I don't skate straight and everybody that goes there is an invitation Like you're a street dude if you're there Like there were some kids there that were over in the corner Just doing every flip trick on the flat ground for like 40 minutes before I left and I was like I don't know who any of those guys are and they're all a thousand times better than I've ever been And then there was two legends p-rod Um, wait, well pretty good, but started playing a new one They do get sweaty as miles says wait who gets sweaty? Sweaty is a term for guys that are really good at video games Where are they called sweaty?
Because they're it's because they're trying so hard like it's like they're try hard So they're sweating while they're playing video games Right didn't you say like it's like for the guy who's good at it But his friends don't necessarily respect him because it's like you could only be that good If you have done this at the expense of actually like leaving a room and seeing sunlight Yeah, it's like kind of like a like a try hard disk like that little sweaty like So if you play and you're chill like relax laid back, that's cool, right? Yeah, but so if I'm playing and I just like get killed and I'm like, man Is that cool? No, you're supposed to be like fuck you bitch like I'm gonna come kill you What about if someone goes fuck you bitch and I go well like you want to meet me somewhere And see like how this really goes down is that cool? No, is that a real threat?
That probably constitutes a criminal threat in the eyes of some jurisdictions So probably get kicked off a cape for being like I'm gonna come to your house and fucking murder So don't say I'm killing it It's all theoretical violence Yeah, you have to be like Yeah, it's it's if you kill me and I go I know where you live motherfucker Is that a threat? I mean, there's so many more interesting ways of threatening people That's the thing it's kind of like it's you're anonymous You can do it you can say whatever This is the time where you're supposed to bring out the clever shit not I'm gonna come shit on your face at your house What about if I threaten their mother? Yeah, that's what I mean. It's not very clever You have like young looking armpits You might be talking shit to like a 14 year old as well That's what I mean What are you worrying about not the threats but just having fun?
Well, no because my house sounds like you're supposed to get angry You are supposed to do what you do Just be yourself and everything will follow What about if I say do you have a pet and I'm like I'm gonna eat your pet I think you can say that I think I get warmer Okay, what about do you have like a baby brother? Because I'm gonna fuck him I I gotta go I gotta go I love you guys You should My god Don't wait we're quick If he says that he's gonna have sex with somebody's baby brother And I laugh Do I get in trouble? No, you have my bitch Or on this actual show that we're doing right now Which I'm fearing we should also give a shit about Yeah, I think uh No, I think people should worry about Jason's fun I think it's over Yeah All right, I gotta keep doing shows I love you too See why see you before I leave If you want, yeah I'm doing a show at the Comedy Store Tomorrow night When? Tomorrow night Tuesday?
Oh cool I'll swing by Yeah Okay, love you buddy Love you too I'm gonna go take a nap in your bed Okay I end up my bye guys Thank you Thanks for the fart