The West Coast Cowboy tour. If you want to see where I'm going to be, go to vjsonalis.com to see tour dates and where I'm going to be because I might be in your town. vjsonalis.com, do it. Go now.
Lion's eat zebras from the butt up. Best meets in the room. Really? Where would you start?
Interesting. Well, it all depends on the person with you. You don't have much. Probably a thigh.
Yeah. Half with him. Good luck. I mean on that cock.
Oh man. He never coupled weeks. So, start off with the knob kebab. Yeah.
Knob kebab. Yeah. What did you do now, Jake? Jake you fool.
You all right? Yeah. I had a donut before I did the show. I think I sung half of it out.
I didn't get it fully down yet. I was going to hurry. Have a beat. Welcome back.
Look at the back-in pundits. Thank you. Finance. The rat.
I'm so excited to be here and living up to my rat. You eat like a rat. I'm eating cheese and crackers. Yum yum yum.
Very ratty. Yes. Thank you. Every time you call yourself a rat, I didn't get it until I saw you eat today.
I'm like, I'm like, I'm a rat. What happened to your lip? I got punched in the face. In boxing?
Yeah. Dude, every podcast I do in LA, you have these deep chairs. And it makes me sit weird. And I always slide out.
It's because you're little and you can't touch the camera. I don't fuck you. It's true. I'm a good-sized guy.
It's because we have homes large enough to accommodate actual chairs. I don't like that. I do not like that. You need stool?
What about some books? I could use some books. But that's fine. That's fine.
What did the homeless man have? Say to the priest. Why did the homeless man cross the road? Because there was fentanyl on the other side.
No, because the light was red. And that's when they go. And I think it's because they know we don't look at them. And if they cross the road when you're driving, then you have to see them.
Which is very sad. I felt sorry for a homeless man today. I think there's a lot of truth to what you're saying. It is right.
What are you saying? They'll always cross the intersection when you're not supposed to. And I'm like- Because they're so consciously wishing for death? No.
Well, I've seen guys consciously wishing for- What do you think it's for? Why do they cross the road? No, I think he is right. You weren't listening.
You weren't listening. You're too focused on cheese. You're too focused on getting your feet on the ground. Because I remember when I first moved to Manhattan, I'd been in and out of Manhattan when I was two years and years.
When I finally lived there, didn't leave for weeks at a time, it started to weird me out that I realized there was so many people everywhere. But everybody's in their own little world. Nobody was noticing me. One time I had some stupid outfit on.
I was like, oh, people are going to laugh me. Nobody even noticed. And it made me feel so weird and invisible. And that's what I think homeless people feel is everybody looks at them, but everybody looks through them and they start to wonder in a weird search of conscious way, am I even alive?
Am I even alive? Or am I Bruce Willis in the sixth sense? And it's the only way that they can get human society. I think it is.
I think it is. No. Well, I noticed him. I was in the cross because the red man is talking to them.
It's a friend of the lie. You don't think schizophrenia is real? Not really. You're way off.
I'm not schizophrenic. Not true. I never said you were, but it does exist. I never met anybody that was telling the truth.
Oh, yes. You don't see it with your own eyes. It doesn't mean it's not going on. It's true.
There's no ghost. What? I've never seen a ghost. So there's no ghost.
You're such a little doubting Thomas. I have nothing to do with Thomas. I've never seen you. I've never seen you.
I've never seen you. I've never seen you. I've never seen you just now of a host ghost. What?
I was a ghost at night and then in the background was a horse, but it was a see-through horse and it ran off and disappeared like a ghost. So then ghosts do exist? That's social media and everyone knows social media is a lie. Flat Earth.
DamnIT! Do you believe in ghosts or you're just saying? I don't believe in ghosts. You would believe if you saw one.
Yes, and I would definitely talk to the ghost if it came up and said, whoo. I'd be like, why did this happen to you? Can I help? Let's try it out.
Ready? I'll be the ghost. Hey, ghost! What's going on?
How did you get here? Did you kill somebody? Jason! Who was it a bad guy?
Did you have it coming? It was a good guy. He killed me with kindness. Yeah, I already don't want to know that goes.
That's weird. I'm in the afterlife. Nobody sees me. I don't even know if I'm real.
I'm living under the Tully theory of homelessness. Do I exist or not? Finally, I feel seen. Wow.
I don't think I I've thought I had a lot of questions for ghosts, but if a ghost talked to me like that, I would leave. I'm ready to answer your questions. I'll follow you. First, can we do a video on TikTok to prove that you are indeed a ghost?
I don't like to support the Chinese. It's only half Chinese dumbass. Is it America but didn't America buy it yet? It's called improv.
Yes, and moron. Yeah, I can't wait for America to buy TikTok. So it's like got more boobs on it. It's all evil and terrible and it needs to go away.
But you just ejected those headphones, get a knife. Now you got some spare. So you got plenty of spare. Yeah, I think that they need more boobs.
The internet needs more boobs. Less boobs. I know why I'm choking today. Yeah, what's the matter with you?
I don't know. Maybe I'll die and then I'll be a goat. Oh, yeah. Banting, how did you die a freak choking accident?
I would like to die from boobs. How did you choke? Were you trying to be funny? How would you die from boobs?
Could you suffocate from boobs, right? For sure. I still could move the boobs out of the way. Or you could choke on drinking breast milk.
Yeah, but that's really hard. Would you want to die fucking or would you want to die like sexual relations, we say, for YouTube? Hmm. All right.
How would I want to die? What? Fing or what? Was someone sitting on your face or doing some prone boning?
You mean like have a heart attack in mid bone? Yeah. Or have such a fat ass suffocate you. Oh, it's tempting.
I think I'd want to be suffocated. Do I cheers before I die when I'm having sexual relations? I think you do. Well, then yes, that one because I would like to cheers one more time.
If I'm going to die, one of the things that I would want to do the most is cheers. Well, I wonder if these guys die during sex. Do they die during or post-coil after they cheers? Because sometimes I come so hard I get a ringing in my ear and I can hear.
That means you would have just then died. I'll do that. Me too. I would like to jump off a building and cheers and then die.
So then I'm flying and using at the same time. Because those are two things that I've always wanted to do before I die. Steve Oat did that. Yeah, but no.
I'll be playing while he was working on it. I don't want to do it by myself. I don't want to be alone. I want to die with another person.
So you want to be strapped to another man's back? No, a lady. A lady. You want to be strapped to me back there, man?
I'm not. But I just have always ten of skydive with men. Yeah, well, I don't want to ten of skydive. I want to jump off a building.
I want to skydive. I want to skydive. You must admit it's going to be a way to find a dude who's willing to make that sort of suicide pact. Yeah, but that's just not what I'm into.
Michael, can anybody understand that? What? That you're into? I'm into women.
I'm into women and I want to die with a woman. I want to die. Look, if the woman is going to die, then I'm OK with dying. But if it's just me dying, I don't want to die because I'm going to miss the party.
Something cool is going to happen. I'm going to miss it. No, but that's not good. What if I tell you I made a new good song?
I don't have a really hard bit. You've been saying this for 20 years and the music's been getting steadily worse. No, it's not. Are you kidding me?
Death, magnetic, straight. Thank you. That was great. It's a really strong word for Death, and it was awesome.
It's fun. But it's Michael. It was 15 years ago. And also, what is it?
Dude, the album, it's sound, dude, they made an album in like 2011 or whatever. It truly sounds like it could have been after ride the lightning. That's magnetic. I'm going to look it up.
No, it's not the leeward one. Don't Michael. Yeah, I swear. Look, I tried with that magnetic.
My son got super into Metallica, and he doesn't have any. He's listening without prejudice. We did fade to black and we did seek and destroy. And we did master.
Oh, yes. That's magnetic. And then it got to death magnetic. And he's like, man, I'm like, dude, it is.
It's just better than the show. I'm even a fan of St. Anger. I think that's a great album for what it was at the time.
It was great. OK, death magnetic, hardwired to self destruct. Good. You know, I got to listen to the new 72 seasons.
That's a new metallic album. I would love to shut up. Michael, it's good. I like them live.
I'm I hate Metallica. I will always like purest no matter what through and through. Never apologize from Metallica. They put out what they put out when they put it out.
And that's that. Yep, me too. They're like Pamela Anderson of metal. Like sure, she's a bit ugly and she doesn't wear makeup, but I would totally.
You can't deny how great she is. Yeah, I would give it to her hard or soft. Doesn't matter whatever way she would want it. So comparing her to Metallica means you'd give it to them to.
Got it. Perfect. No, let's move on. It's not what that means.
You would give it hard to Kirk. No, I wouldn't. To Lars. I wouldn't give it to them.
James. Stop. In Rome. Out Trujillo.
That's wild, bro. Yeah. That's where you lost me. He's a good dude.
Trujillo's amazing, dude. Suicidal tendencies. What is up? Infectious grooves.
Infectious grooves. Oh my god, man. OK, dude, is Metallica playing with suicidal tendencies? That seems hot for the bass player.
Amazing. God, I love them. That's alumni. I want to sit headband live against so bad.
Yeah. Do you see the final Aussie show? Yeah. He's got L.
Oh, dude. Ls. He's he's. He's Parkinson's.
That's going to be Lzheimer's. That's going to be like a who's that guy that they keep throwing on stage like 96? He's a singer and a Tony Bennett. The oh, yeah.
Yeah, we know. Jer, Frankie Valley. Frankie Valley. He wants to be God.
Now he doesn't. He wants to be in the release of death. I think he lost a bunch of money in the casino and he's paying it off without a doubt. Would you rather be him or Siegfried Roy after the Tiger Aidam?
That'd be so painful. But if you have your lover Siegfried there, which one? Which Roy the guy eating, right? Yeah.
Yeah, which one really? Oh, yeah. But no, he did. But years later, he lived.
But punched for like another like seven years. Is that amazing that like their love story shows that there is someone for everyone? They were not dating each other in the end. They were at for a point in time?
Yeah, but then they spread their wings. But sometimes that's what you have to do. Yeah, no. Sometimes your ego has to soar.
It's crazy. They don't have didn't get AIDS. I can't. Who's to say they didn't?
Could you imagine getting all by Tiger and then just dying from AIDS? That'd be terrible. Which is worse, getting more by Tiger and dying from AIDS. Getting more for me.
Dying from AIDS. Really? Yes. Well, you get to party for a little bit longer.
Tigers like I mean, he's seen those pictures and heard those stories about men that died of AIDS in the 80s. Some of them died alone. That's what I'm saying. Because they reviewed is completely diseased in the stigma of it.
It's just so sad. It really is. And all by Tiger, I can imagine that be a lot faster. And at least when you get to heaven, you can be like, yeah, I fought a tiger, dude.
I suppose I'll get a little respect for that. Yeah. No, it wasn't a movie. It was a young gay guy.
It was like actually it's this or it's that he was correcting an older gay guy for saying tranny and a gay guy was like, I'll be saying that you know what it's like being from my era. He's like, instead of going to parties every night, you know what I went to? Heroes. Because all my friends were dying every weekend.
And I'm like, that was a movie. But that's a true story. Yeah. Remember they kept on arresting that nice old lady in San Francisco?
Because she kept bringing pop brownies to kids in the AIDS ward. Because she's like, nothing else is worth. Because we'd still eat one. She's like, nothing else is working for them.
They haven't eaten anything. And then all of a sudden, they get a little bit of relief. And they get the munchies. And they're eating.
And she's like, oh, keep on fucking arrest. She was a little late. Keep on arresting me. I'll keep on baking.
And I'll keep bringing them. I love it. Love it. Love it.
The 95% of the population is like you deserve it. It's like, God, that's so mean. And Reagan won't even mention it. And Fauci is a part of it anyway.
Yeah, that's what I heard too. But enough, that's true enough. I love little old ladies. Me too.
I would marry a little old lady. But first, I'd have to be a little old man. Aww. I can't be a big man.
One time this lady hit her, she was a little old lady. I think she wanted me to give her a good go on over. But I was like, oh my god, she was like 75% 80%. I do this with my scrotum.
I can see the sun through it. You see the veins and stuff. Yeah. It's also amazing constantly moving as I've already mentioned interesting.
Yeah, I was talking to that as a hairless cat and it's really a struggle. And I have to say, I don't really like them because I'm saying that. Can you let me finish and get to my point? Yeah.
I don't really like them because it's initially off putting, but there's such lovey like lap dogs that and being around yours has helped me get over my, not fear, but my kind of apprehension with them. Like look at this guy. Rumble bean is a friend to all. But but see if my guy, if the world, everybody in the world was more like Rumble Bean, this place would be a magical place, not that it isn't, but it's definitely a little brutal.
I need to be less judgmental because I do have cats. I like your cats. I do love cats. But, you know, the hairless thing is, it's just, it takes a little getting used to, but it helps you to accept and learn.
Bruce Willis is lovable. He's got no hair or brain. You're love lovable. You have no hair.
That's what's up. See? See, I found it difficult to love myself when I first lost my hair. Really?
You lost it. I used to be so handsome. You are handsome. You are kind of away.
How? When how old were you when you started losing your hair like 38 or something? I got a good run. I can't complain.
Like lost it. How? Receiving. I got a receipt in your life.
Yeah, you should shave your head. No, fuck you. I'm owning it. I'm not really making a difference.
You lost your hair before you were late 30s. Did I? I've known you for 20 years and I've never known you to have hair. What the hell was I then?
How old are you now? 53. 33. I've never known you to have hair.
I've never known you to have hair. This is the time you've been wearing your hair. Oh. I think you've gotten hit in the head too much.
That's for sure. But I like it. It makes me happy. What?
It does. I swear, man, when I get my body by fist, something. Oh, look at you, you guy. Something freeing about it.
Look at you, you guy. Takes the sharp edges off your consciousness. I don't know. I remember the important thing.
I can't remember. I can't remember. Does he usually do this? He started it, but I'm liking him.
Yeah, but you started to like play and he's like, oh, does he play like that? Yeah. Yeah. He's playing.
Oh, if he goes, you'll know it. Play. He's a vicious man. He beats up women all the time.
Oh, God. He has two girlfriends. Oh, Rumple. And he beats them.
Good guy. They beat him. It's mutual. That guy.
They're tearing up my jeans with those nails. Again, you did start it. Well, you've got to cut your cat's nails, Jason. Yeah.
One was the last time you had these guys' nails cut. The other one is like putting a cat in the bathtub. I'm not cutting their nails. They're venomous.
But I trim his like once a month. But he's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy.
He scratches somebody and they have a car. Oh, little guy. You make me miss my cat. My guy's more friendly.
Not more friendly than Glenn. Yeah, but your other guy is not cool with anybody. He takes a minute, man. He's a soft-spoken guy.
He needs, you know, he's loving her. He's unapproachable. He will be eventually. He'll be probably being very approachable from the get-go.
So he's better. He has anxiety. Yeah. And that's pretty like maybe he should believe in God.
God releases anxiety because it's no longer in your hands. It's in God's hands. And then you have nothing to worry about anymore. Yeah, but it's a cat.
Cats don't believe in God. They just believe in love. Well, you know what? They don't believe in God because God doesn't believe in them.
I just agree. I think when they say that animals don't have souls, I think that that's like one of those things where they say that like getting left. I know. I'm just saying that people say that, right?
Michael, it's me in the Bible. I don't know if it's in the Bible. But people definitely have said that. I mean, the head injury level today is out of control.
It might be in the Bible. I don't know. Back me up. Michael, they do say that.
I don't know if the animals don't have souls. Let's find out. Yeah, they do. You got your opinion.
I don't fear God. You got believe in man. I believe in something. Do you believe in aliens?
Not really. I think aliens are already here in the form of technology. That's the Bible. It doesn't explicitly state whether animals have souls.
So that's like when the age of soul or spirit to refer to animals, idiot. Well, that's well, then religious people say that who who religious people. Same with literally it's like when the Muslims believe cows are God. You know, in the Quran, they can say that women have to cover their hair or they're not allowed to drive, but in certain places, Muslim countries, they say that they're not allowed to show their hair or drive.
That's right. Right. So that's why they didn't have a party now. What?
No, but you're saying every time I say something that's good, he doesn't even tell you doesn't hear it. But what did you say that was good? You just you just brought up a completely different point to say that I'm saying the thing. This religion is like the Bible and then there's the people that live by the Bible that make up laws that aren't in the Bible.
Right. Human interpretation, but nowhere does it explicitly say this in the Bible, which was your initial argument. I do think that like when I was growing up, it was a traditional argument. It was sort of a joke about the kid being like, well, our dog be in heaven when we get to heaven.
That's the movie. All dogs go to heaven. I think because that with that movie, the title of that movie was a reaction to the common belief that dogs did not go. Thank you.
Otherwise, there would be no point in saying it, but I don't think it ever came from the Bible. I think it's just yet another one of the many, many, many religious beliefs that just evolved over time independent of the founding document, the scripture. Hosts have souls. All of the most self of the James Rams have souls.
Humans are the only beings that have souls that can be lost and earned. People can lose their soul and people can earn back their soul through pain and suffering. Well, there is kind of that right that if you believe that you need to go outside, I really like him, but his nails are like tearing my jeans up and these are brand new. Right.
If you believe that people ought to need to earn redemption, earn their way into heaven, then it's no fair for dogs to also have souls because they're never tempted to be dicks like we are. No, but it's not in their nature. It's like humans are sentient, but we're alive. Dogs are alive, but they're not sentient.
So humans can, you know, in the same way that we are alive in dogs are live. We have souls and dogs have souls, but it's a different degree of it. Like souls, dogs and pets have souls and spirits that I feel live on as do we, but we're the only ones that can lose ours. And that speaks to the innocence and love of animals, the pureness of the animal.
They never do anything bad even when they eat somebody else. Yeah, because they didn't mean it. They had it coming. And it's the order of law with animals.
Because we needed a person from the ass up. Lions eat zebras from the butt, the butt up. Best meets in the room. Really?
Where would you start? Interesting. Well, it all depends on the person with you. You don't have much.
No, probably a thigh. Yeah. Half with him. Good luck.
I mean on that cock. Oh man, he never coupled couple weeks. Start off with the knob, come up. Yeah.
Yeah. That's how you know starts at the cock. I would eat the neck. So because I want to kill you.
I don't want to eat you while you're alive. I feel like that's brutal. I'm not saying alive. I'm saying dead.
So you'd kill me by biting my neck, but where would you start eating me for sustenance? Your face. What? They're going to meet on the face.
Yeah, cheeks. Really? Yeah. Cheek me?
It's a delicate testin. Wait, it's a delicate sea. Oh my god. This is crazy.
Holy shit. Couple of snorzid basaltons. You're ready to go. I said I've heard anyway.
You have plenty of instruments in? Yeah, I was a discoban. I played guitar. I got a guitar, seriously.
I'm not that great. You've got a clue when it comes to drums. Yeah. Because I noticed during the intro you transitioned from the hi-hat to the ride.
Yeah, yeah. I can play the drums and pick up pretty easily, but I cannot do the pedal. I can't play drums. They don't round about where you're going to go right.
Appreciate you're going to see it again. Yes. How about you? You could play guitar, yeah.
And the drums. Yeah. And my foot works. I don't know how to work the foot.
I don't know how to... You're sure that if you two had a drum off that you would just absolutely dust him? Yeah, just because he said he can't do the foot thing. I did the foot thing.
I could do double kick. You sure? One more time. Okay.
We should... I'm down for that. Because I think it might go by that point. I wish we could put a song.
And we could add an air drum. I could do the foot thing. You just said you can't do the foot thing. I could do the tom's and everything.
I could do the tom's. No. Dude, I have like three... Can you listen to a song and pick up the drums off of it?
Because I mean if it's slayer or something, no, but if it's like a basic thing. Yeah, for sure. Take it out. If you're playing guitar, I can play the drums to your song.
If you play guitar, I could play the drums to your song. You can't use a foot thing. You've got no bass. Well, I can still play.
That's why I stayed in the U-Can't Play drums. We will get a kick drummer for me. That's not playing the drums. It'll make us a unique band.
I could play drums if somebody had a drum machine playing a drum machine while I was playing the top part. How do you... Well, since you know how, tell me, how do you work? I can tell you can't do but one to do.
Because it's a separate thing. This one does a separate thing. Yeah, but now you've got to get that foot in there. How do you do this?
Yeah. Yeah, you've got to do it. What would help, I think, if I had someone pressing my leg and then riding a bike... I don't think that would help.
You know, how when you hold on to someone on the back of a bike and you let go on they ride, I would need training wheels for my foot. What if I had a death leopard? Oh, wait, that's more feet. Yeah, that guy's all feet.
Yeah, sorry. Now you wouldn't be able to play death leopards, drum kit. The drummer from the leopard only has one arm. The drummer from the leopard only has one arm.
Who sings that? Some Scott band. Bloodhound gang. Wait, that's not a Scott band.
They're great. They don't get as much shine as they do. Not them. You're a lot more shine than they ever do.
They like them. I'm not a gun. I don't want to punch them. I don't want to hear it.
I'm not going to tell you anything about Marlena. I'm just trying to create a lot of fun with that. The roof. I'm in the roof with them.
They do the roof on fire thing. Yeah, I hate it. The roof is on fire. You're in the room.
Hello, my name is Jimmy and I'm a dumb white guy. It's dumb. Dude, what's your personal thing with them? I could tell that song, I could tell there was some issue that wasn't just not about the music.
Look, there's certain bands to certain songs that make me mad and I can admit it's definitely over the top and out of control. If you play Creed I will punch you in the face until you die. Can you figure that one and then not know the other higher they're both this bad performance of Creed The world the fucking third time this week this has come up it's incredible Make my brain use my foot at the same time as my engine I use your brain to put your foot up your own ass and realize it Creed did a good Super Bowl performance wasn't the Super Bowl So that's it. Yeah, I know wasn't look it up.
We are Guarantee it was the Super Bowl wasn't Show not the Super Bowl. Oh, all right. Oh, yeah, it was wrong. Yeah, it's what else you're wrong about great good.
Wow dumb ass You don't have to play drums you can barely drive anything I can barely drive. It's just like a drive that's a good thing that Hitler's a good guy. What's my case? Where does that come up?
It's I'm a garage. I think it's Hitler's a good guy to go fishing with you It's the other flat. It's an extension of how stupid you are. I don't think any of that thing that look at that That is a great performance.
Yes that guy that guy that guy that's right there It's like something I want to say and he wouldn't be there without Creed Yeah, it's Creed's fault. He looks like you without tattoos. How dare you just glad he was able to get the day off of singing for life That live they're good. Oh my god lightning crashes amazing.
She's why you don't like live? What I bet you like cake. Oh my god. You do like it.
You want a girl with a short skirt Painous everyone's allowed to be weird, you know, I got school who hit me else. You brought me with more who she's like you Well, she was good. I like one of her song. Yeah, me too.
I love the nessa Carlton. Oh, Lana's I like vin What I said cake is the musical equivalent of eating your own how like those guys eat their own just No, that's how they get the first time. Do you know how cool they are? Contacted them through their fan mail and was like your favorite band.
This is a shot in the dark But I would love for you to play my bar mitzvah and they did it. That's nice. It's not cool. Yeah, it is It's a definition of cool.
Then the definition of cool is like James Dean on a holly There can be more than one definition of cool. You don't think it's cool to be some kids like hero And then taking time out of your life to go and like do something really nice Person and another word for nice is nice and cool. Not the school. It's not then how come when something cool happens people go nice Because they don't really think it's that cool.
That's just the word you used to keep getting out of the station So good I didn't go nice. Yeah, because nice is cool. That's the same thing is saying cool. No, I pop off in the comments I am so much more right than Jason and all of these arguments Hit us with another tully Ever clear.
I mean you say ever. Wow ever clear is terrible and you are insane. You said you said what are you like? You said that that's kind of But I like it was a reload or whatever was good.
Same anger. Yeah, that's not good I in my opinion. I enjoy it and in your opinion is incorrect and you know, it's cool not caring what anyone else thinks Yeah, and that's cool. I also, you know what that is.