Identify your people pleasing tendencies

Send Cathy a text:)Let me get real honest & raw with you.  This podcast was hard to prepare for and it’s even harder to share.  It's all about people pleasing.  Why you say?  I'm a people pleaser.Are you saying, Yes.  Or are you saying No, I'm not a people pleaser.We all have people pleasing tendenciesPeople pleasing isn’t all bad But, people pleasing can lead to stress and burnout especially if you are a caregiver.  Before we deep dive into this topic, I have something really excited to share with you!  It’s a Quiz about caregiving with very, very informative results.  It’s called What’s your Caregiver Style?   You can take this FREE quiz at https://www.tryinteract.com/share/quiz/5ffd018f17706f00164e6383.  It takes less than 3 minutes & you'll get very in-depth & informative results to help you think through your caregiver responsibilities.   Let’s now dig into  People Pleasing.    As a caregiver, your Loved One is your top priority.   You open your heart, soul & energy to go beyond simple kindness to give to them everything they need & want.    Pleasing might not sound all that bad.  After all, what’s wrong with loving & being nice to your Loved One & making them happy?  You do whatever it takes meaning you make sacrifices with little to no complaints.  You go out of your way to do things for them based on what you assume they want & need.  You give up your time & energy.The urge to please them can be rewarding to you, but also damaging to you.  The wants of your Love One are more important than your own needs as well as other relationships. Many people-pleasers confuse pleasing people with kindness. When discussing their reluctance to turn down someone’s request for a favor, they say things like, “I don’t want to be selfish,” or “I just want to be a good person.” Consequently, they allow others to take advantage of them.  Here are some tell tale signs of pleasing:You have a low opinion of yourselfYou need others to like youPlease pleasers find it hard to say noYou apologize or accept fault  when you aren’t to blameYou’re quick to agree, even when you don’t really agreeYou struggle with authenticityYou’re a giverYou don’t have any free timeArgument and conflicts upset youWhat are the affects of pleasing?  Pleasing isn’t inherently negative.  Part of having relationships with others involves taking their wants, needs, & feelings into account.  These tendencies can often come from a place of concern or affection.  Trying to earn the regard of others usually means you neglect your own needs and feelings.   In a way, you’re putting on an act.  You’re doing what you think people want so they like you.   You might only pretend to enjoy helping, since this is part of keeping your Loved One happy.  This isn’t exactly honest, & eventually people-pleasing can hurt you & your relationships.  You feel frustrated & resentfulPeople take advantage of youYour relationships don’t satisfy youStress and burnoutPartners and friends become frustrated with youIf you feel you're a people pleaser, it’s important to first acknowledge your tendencies, start working on little things at a time & set healthy boundaries.    Support the show