If Nothing Changes, Nothing Changes: How to Avoid the Burnout Cliff
from You Are Not A Frog
You may think you're fine. You're still performing well at work, still the one people rely on, yet you know something's off. In this episode - a replay of one of my most important conversations from 2025, I share the question that changed how I think about burnout: What are you borrowing from your life to keep your work looking fine? For many of us, our ingrained programming tells us we have to please everyone all the time to feel good enough, so we protect our work and borrow energy from the rest of our life to do it. We look totally fine on the outside. Inside, the walls are standing but there's nothing left. I’m chatting with Dr Richard Duggins NHS Psychiatrist and Author of ‘Burnout Free Working’ about why high achievers stay high-performing right up util they burn out, what radiators and drains have to do with it, and what Richard calls the burnout cliff - where one small trigger takes you by surprise. If you go back into the same way of working, carrying the same load in the same way, it will affect your next decision, and the one after that. This is about burnout not as a personal failing, but as a change in the balance of your energy. We cover: Why your performance can stay high while the rest of your life shrinks Borrowing energy from home, fun, and rest to protect work Radiators and drains - work intensity, home pressures and culture The burnout cliff and the plateau before it Early signs - poor sleep, irritability, detachment, loss of joy What may help you carry it differently without going back over the edge This episode is for you if... you are a high achiever in a leadership role who has to have the conversation nobody else will, has to make the call someone disagrees with, and lies awake replaying a decision you had to make. A doctor or professional who looks capable to everyone else but feels depleted when you get home. You do not need to collapse to prove you were struggling. Get weekly tools and episode notes by email: https://youarenotafrog.com/welcome More resources: https://youarenotafrog.com/ Burnout Self-Assessment Toolkit: https://youarenotafrog.com/toolkit/ Mentioned in this episode: 🟦 Beat Stress & Thrive | Live Cohort Starts 13 October The Overwhelm SOS Toolkit Stop the overwhelm and get back on track, without dropping balls or quitting.
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Chapters
- 0:00 Are you closer to burnout than you think?
- 2:14 Meet Dr Richard Duggins
- 2:36 Resilience victim blaming
- 5:05 Radiators and drains
- 6:56 Is a medic's pressure gauge set higher?
- 8:30 The three drains: work, home and culture
- 10:54 The three radiators: support, fun and stimulation
- 12:30 Why dropping the "optional extras" backfires
- 15:12 Who do you reach out to for support?
- 19:14 How one senior surgeon changed a culture
- 22:17 Why people don't use support services
- 24:22 Working in burnout without knowing it
- 28:31 Burnt-out buildings and the Maslach inventory
- 31:12 Protecting work at the cost of your life
- 33:22 The four curveballs: change, disputes, bereavement, loneliness
- 36:28 Why acting early is so much easier
- 42:57 Five things people do to recover
- 49:12 Where therapy fits in: CBT and IPT
- 54:14 Red flags for anxiety and depression
- 58:01 Super achievers and attachment styles
- 1:05:37 Three next actions if you're on the plateau
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