If they wanted to, they would... wouldn't they? episode artwork

EPISODE · Mar 31, 2026 · 8 MIN

If they wanted to, they would... wouldn't they?

from The Dynamics Of Everyday Life

In this episode, Julia explores the popular phrase “if they wanted to, they would”… and asks whether it’s really as straightforward as it sounds.While acknowledging that behaviour can sometimes be a clear indicator of priorities, she challenges the idea that human actions are ever that simple. Drawing on psychodynamic thinking, Julia looks at how fear, shame, and unconscious patterns often override intention, meaning that what people do isn’t always a clean reflection of what they want.This episode invites listeners to sit with a more uncomfortable truth: that human behaviour is often messy, conflicted, and driven by forces we don’t fully see or understand.Because sometimes, “they didn’t want to” isn’t the whole story.Here are the highlights of this episode:(1.34) Moments where it is true(3.27) He’s just not the into you(4.47) Fear will override desire(6.06) Where do you do this?Connect with Julia:WebsiteLinkedInInstagramABOUT THE PODCASTThe Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.FOLLOW THE PODCASTIf you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

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If they wanted to, they would... wouldn't they?

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