If what you see is all pretty... it ain't all true! E71

How often do you look at someone's post on Facebook or Instagram and say to yourself, "man, they really have a great life... or family... or great... whatever."  "If I just had that car... then... everything would be OK!" "Man, if I just had a six-pack and a full head of hair, my life would be totally different!" Intellectually, most people also know that social media is just a highlight reel of the great things in people's life.  However, it doesn't change that little pang in the gut that one gets when they tell themselves they don't match up.  Comparison and judgment is a killer! Whether you are the type to beat yourself up or the one who lashes out at others, these two defects can wreak havoc on our emotions.  I tend to index towards the middle, not totally believing most things I see and hear online or read in books.  Not that I'm a conspiracy theorist or pessimist, I just think that offen, the truth falls somewhere in the middle.  Most things usually aren't as good or as bad as you think they are. This actually happened to me this morning. Sarah wanted to read something to me out of Brene Brown's book, Dare to Lead.  Brene tells a story about how her husband responded in the "perfect way", (my words not hers), when she was acting from a place of fear and insecurity.  Sarah is reading this story to me and with a HUGH eye roll I say, "there's no way he really responded that!"  What I really meant was, I'm sure Brene's husband did a great job in the situation she's talking about but I'm sure its a little "dressed up and produced" for the book. Now, there are a couple of things at work for me here.  When Sarah was talking, I'm thinking she is telling me this story because this is how she wishes I would respond to her when she needs to "feel heard."  True or not, I feel like she's comparing me to Brene's husband... and I'm doing the exact same thing, comparing myself to something I heard in a book. You've also heard me share that some of my biggest insecurities are around my husband'ing!  On this episode I share a peak behind the curtain at some of the less attractive parts of my recovery... Shortcomings.