I'm a idiot for wanting to live my life?

Ok so I'm an idiot for wanting to enjoy my life even though I always beg the Lord to call me back home where my late wife and my friend who I coached him on his own cable pubic access tv show and I am always told it's not time yet? I'm paying my bills and food portions are terrible and a former citizen wants me to stay in my apartment until I die alone? I'm stupid for wanting to go on trips so you must want me to be board to tears that's no fun and that's not freedom ! The meals on wheels that I do get even though it's good most of the time it's not even enough. I'm going to live my own life until God gets me out of this evil world that doesn't want me to do anything! I have severe depression PTSD meltdowns because of still being traumatized from my wife's sudden passing In 2016 I kinda wish I went with her ! But I taking a stand for myself and will continue to go travel when I can again I pay my rent and other bills I should be allowed to live my own dam life without bullies telling me what to do say or how to breathe! God gave me this life not anyone else ! So again let me live life Instead of forcing me to let life pass me by.   And the judge of big d county about to be chief justice of big d county supreme court his high school is once again stressing him out NFL pick predictions birthday week 10 games  Already a double down on Thursday game head Atlanta heart PanthersMy birthday games Seahawks dang it another 8:30 am game really?? 12 pm until otherwiseHead bears heart lions head dolfins heart browns broncos heart head Titans bills heads heart vickings  Texans heart giants heads jaguars heart chiefs head saints head stealers heart .3:05 game Cults heart head raiders 3:25 games Cardnails cowboys head Packers heart7:20 pm game 49 ers Mon Eagles If you want to make money for anything start taking action now! Be your mom boss you make the rules when you want. Spend more time with what you love to do not at a place you hate to go to. https://mycapturepage.com/bigdcountry1 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.